


Harry Potter and the Mild-Mannered, Cardigan Wearing, Wolf

by Alwaysradpirate



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Harry Potter, Eventual Smut, Eventual mpreg, Fluff, Frottage, Hand Jobs, M/M, Masturbation, Mpreg, Nudity, Survivor Guilt, Top Remus Lupin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-07 09:14:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 75,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11055924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alwaysradpirate/pseuds/Alwaysradpirate
Summary: Remus survives the final battle.  Harry has some survivor's guilt.  They end up living together.  Romance happens....Tags and Summary will be updated as updates to the story happen.





	1. The Waking of the Wolf in the Hospital

**Author's Note:**

> I clearly do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters. If I did, I would be making money off of them not writing fanfics...

Harry held his godson tight to his chest.  The last forty-eight hours had been hell.  It surprised him.  He had thought that with Voldemort gone he’d feel some sort of joy.  Instead, he felt devastated.  All the losses pressed in on him and for the millionth time since he died he questioned his choice to come back.  The afterlife had been peaceful and so many that he loved were waiting for him there.  He clutched the small baby in his arms.  Edward Remus Lupin, Teddy, was barely a month old.  His mother, Nymphadora Tonks, had died two nights ago.  Her death had caused Andromeda, Tonks’ mom, to have something like a breakdown.  So, Harry and Teddy sat there waiting for Teddy’s father to wake up.  He’d been resuscitated three times by the healers in a day and a half.  He seemed to be getting better, but hadn’t opened his eyes since the battle.  It was up to Remus John Lupin now if he ever woke again.  Teddy shifted in Harry’s arms and snuggled in.  The action brought him a small amount of comfort.  He looked down at his small godson and felt overwhelmed.

Harry looked at his friend in the hospital bed, “Merlin, Remus please come back to us.  Teddy needs you.  I need you.  I know you want to stay with my dad, and Sirius, and Tonks.  But, we really need you here.  We’re still here.  Fight and come back to us please.  I can’t take anymore death.  Don’t give me another reason to regret coming back,” Harry said as he started to cry.   Teddy wriggled in his arms and began to cry in a soft mewling voice.  Harry sobbed and searched for Teddy’s bottle.  He was still tearful as fed the babe.  He was so distracted that at first he didn’t immediately notice the groans coming from Remus as he woke up.

“Harry,” Remus asked quietly in a hoarse voice.  Harry didn’t respond.

“Harry,” Remus called again louder.  This time it broke through Harry’s quiet sobs.

“Remus?! Thank, Merlin,” Harry shouted as he launched closer to Remus’ bedside.  Harry wanted to throw his arms around the man, but with Remus’ current condition it was probably a good thing he had his arms full of baby to stop him.  He must have looked a sight between his red eyes, confused expression, and armful of baby because Remus cracked a weak smile and gave a small chuckle. Harry called the healers into the room.  They made a quick inspection and determined that the worst had passed.  They let him sit up a bit then left to give Remus some time with his son and Harry.

“Harry, can you put Teddy on my chest.  I don’t think I can hold him per se, but he should be fine there.  I missed him.  Was I really out for two days?”  Harry nodded as he conjured some more pillows.  Then he propped up Remus in a way that would make it easier to hold his son before placing Teddy in his father’s arms.

“Yeah, you were out a good forty-eight hours.  I thought you weren’t…” he broke off midsentence.  His emotions caught up to him again, but he didn’t let himself breakdown again.  He wondered how much Remus remembered of the battle.  He didn’t want to be the one to inform Remus of his widower status.  His nerves were already shot from worrying about Remus the last two days; he wasn’t sure he could be the one to recount the finer points of the battle right now.  Something must have shown in his face because the next thing Remus said was:

“It’s ok.  I’m here.  I remember what happened.  I am a little surprised you have Teddy.  Where’s Andy?”

Harry took a few shaky breaths then said, “Andy had a hard time when we told her about Tonks.  She’s been hiding a bad heart condition caused by spell damage and she’s needed to be sedated the past two days.  She seems to be getting better, but she couldn’t take care of him.  Besides, I needed to be near my godson.  I know I’d have felt better if Sirius had…”  Remus seemed to understand.

“So, he’s really gone now,” Remus asked tentatively.

“Yeah, he’s really gone now.  I killed him.  Most of his Death Eaters have been rounded up and are awaiting trial.  Molly Weasely killed Bellatrix Lestrange,” Harry’s breath hitched, but he continued as steadily as he could.  He could let Remus know what happened after he’d passed out.  “Someone got Fenrir Greyback.  F-F-Fred is gone.  Hermione is fine, but one of Voldemort’s followers got one last bit of vengeance on me while I was dead in the clearing…”

“What do you mean dead, Harry?!  Are you alright?!  You were dead!  How…”

“Calm down, Remus.  Snape saved us all.  He was killed by Nagini in the Shrieking Shack.  The last thing he did was give me pensieve memories that informed me that I was the last horocrux.  I went to the clearing where Voldemort was torturing Hagrid prepared to never come back.  Voldemort cast the killing curse on me and I died.  I had the choice to stay dead and I almost did.  I decided to come back, though.  The short version of how I survived is that the killing curse killed the horocrux , but not me in general.  Mrs. Malfoy saved me.  She knew I was alive, but she lied to Voldemort for me.  I’m fine, Remus, hardly a scratch on me…” then Harry felt the silent tears begin to fall again.  He’d left out the part about the resurrection stone.  He couldn’t talk about that yet.  If someone had told him a few days ago that he’d feel this bad after the downfall of Voldemort, he’d have thought that person was losing their marbles.  He had been stupid. 

“Re-Re-Remus, one of the Death Eaters cursed Ron before I could finish him,” he continued softly.  “They crucio-ed him so badly that he’s lost his mind… Fred is d-d-d-dead…Tonks is gone… Fenrir managed to turn about 20 students and 10 adults before he was killed… Hogwarts is in shambles… We lost at least 40 others so many were so young, Remus…”

Harry covered his face then and let a sob rack through his body.  He was crying again.  It was his fault.  It was his entire fault.  He couldn’t even protect Fred.  He’d loved Fred more than breathing.  He couldn’t think about it for too long.  It hurt too much, even if Fred had been one of the people he saw in the afterlife to convince him to return to life.  A dead lover was bad, but it was compounded on because he also lost a brother.  Ron would probably never recover his mind.  He was almost as gone as Fred and it was killing Harry.  Thank Merlin Hermione, Remus, and the rest of the Weasely’s were alright.  He couldn’t deal with anymore loss.

“Harry…” Remus said softly.

“Harry…” he repeated.

“Harry,” he said forcefully, finally getting the young man’s attention.  “Harry, look at me.  It’s not your fault.  None of it falls on you.  Everyone that fought knew the risks.  We fought because this world has some things worth risking our lives for,” Remus looked down at his son.  “Did we have faith that you would help us?  Yes.  However, it wasn’t you who pushed us into battle.  We pushed ourselves.  So, stop thinking that any of this is your fault.  You saved us.  You were willing to give your life so we could have a fighting chance.  Hell, you gave your life.  You don’t have anything to regret.  Would you mind taking my son again?  I feel tired again and I don’t want to hurt him.  I know it’s not comforting, but I’m happy you have him.  I know that if anything had happened to me you’d have taken good care of him.  For now though, go home and get some rest, Harry.”  Harry wasn’t sure if he felt better.  Though, he was mollified enough to calm down and stop crying again.

“Where is home?  I can’t go back anywhere I’ve ever…,” his words were hollow.  Harry felt homeless.  Privet Drive was never home it had merely been where he lived for ten years and a bit over the summers after.  Hogwarts was the first place he ever felt was home in his life.  Now it was in ruin, and he couldn’t be there right now.  The battle made it feel like his home was violated.  The Burrow was the only other place, but he couldn’t face the rest of the Weasely family.  All the loss was still so raw.  He’d spent the last two nights at Remus’ bedside.

“Go to Grimmauld Place, Harry.  I know it’s difficult for you to be there, but it is safe.  I’d rest easier knowing you and Teddy were safe.  It’s not rational, but I still feel like danger is lurking in every corner.”

Harry blanched a bit at the suggestion. He hadn’t even thought of Grimmauld Place.  He hadn’t been there since he was looking for the locket.  He considered it for a moment and realized Remus was right.  Grimmauld Place was safe, at least from outside intervention.  Inside, most of the rooms were still fine.  The Order had made them livable.  Yet, he still found it painful to be there.  Memories of Sirius haunted him whenever he was there.  Almost as if, Sirius’ ghost actually prowled its halls.  This had disturbed Harry when he was there during the horocrux hunt, but now he was surprised to find that the idea of remembering his godfather was actually comforting in some small measure.  He considered it a moment.  The more he considered it; the more he saw Grimmauld Place as a viable option.  It was exceptionally safe from outside influence.  There was plenty of room.  He owned it.  Besides, it would just be for the night.  He could handle it.

“Okay, Remus.  Teddy and I will be at Grimmauld Place tonight.  I’ll leave word with the healers and they can floo me if needed.  Are you sure you don’t want us to stay?”

“Harry, you look like you’re going to pass out.  You’ll feel better once you’ve slept on a bed. I think Teddy will sleep better as well.  Do you have everything you need for him?”

“Yeah, I packed everything I needed when I got him from Andy’s place.  It’s all shrunk in his diaper bag.”

“Good.  Go home.  Take a shower.  Have something to eat.  Get some sleep.  You’ll feel better.  You look like you’re going to pass out at any second.  I’ll see you both tomorrow.  I can’t believe how tired I am.  I just spent forty-eight hours out, but I guess almost dying from a spell can do that,” Remus said in a tone that tried and failed to make light of his situation.  Harry rolled his eyes.

“Alright, we’ll be back tomorrow.  Can I bring you anything?”

“May I have chocolate when you return?”

Harry chuckled, “Chocolate it is.  See you tomorrow with chocolate, Moons.” Harry grinned.  The man was an addict where the cocoa bean was concerned.

“You better be back tomorrow.  You won’t do anything stupid, right,” Remus asked suddenly worried about Harry’s emotional state.

“Don’t worry, Remus.  I just had the fight of my life so I could live. I’m upset right now and completely exhausted, but I’m not a danger to myself or others.  I could stay here again, if it’d make you more comfortable… Or I could ask Hermione to stay with us.”

“I’m sorry.  I just was suddenly worried about you.  You really don’t look good.  You look very sleep deprived and a little more than half mad.  I think having Hermione to stay is a good idea.  Where is she anyway?  I’m a bit surprised she’s not waiting with you.”

“The Burrow.  She was here for a little bit yesterday.  She’s having trouble adjusting to what happened to Ron.  I’ll floo her when I get to Grimmauld.  Some company might do us both good.  Get some rest, Remus.  I’ll be back tomorrow with Teddy and chocolate,” Harry said.  Then he leaned in and kissed Remus on the top of his forehead.  Remus kissed him on the cheek.  It was a little unusual for them to kiss each other in any way, but hugs were currently out of the question and would have been rather awkward with one of them having to hold onto Teddy.  Harry picked up the baby; reassured Remus they’d be ok; bid him goodnight; and left for Grimmauld Place.

Hermione did spend the night with them.  It was a good thing in a way.  She had needed his company.  Ron’s condition was hard to take since they’d only just revealed their feelings for each other.  She talked about retrieving her parents and reinstating their memories in a couple of weeks.  He was surprised that Ginny had accompanied her.  It wasn’t as if she was unwelcome, but it had surprised Harry nonetheless. 

He once thought their friendship wouldn’t recover after he rejected her for the thousandth time before Bill’s wedding.  Harry had been rather blunt about his preference for men at the time.  She had reacted badly to put it mildly.  Harry figured knowing that she’d never be his cup of tea was like the final nail in the coffin, and it was the finality that caused the reaction.  He didn’t think she’d ever forgive him enough to willingly spend time in his company again.  Truthfully, he wasn’t sure she had forgiven him even now.  It seemed she wanted to be away from her house more than she cared about hating Harry at the moment.  Harry was just happy to be able to help her for the night.  It was an opportunity to re-forge the friendship they once had.  Plus between Fred’s death, Ron’s memory, and Ginny’s dashed romantic hopes; he felt like he was personally responsible for tearing apart his adopted family.  Ginny’s presence at his home gave him the slightest hope that maybe things would be ok with the Weasely’s one day.

That night, Harry took Remus’ suggestion to take care of himself seriously.  They had a decent meal, curtesy of take away.  Harry would’ve sent Kreacher out for food or made him cook, but wasn’t up for the argument about house elves from Hermione.  Harry had a nice warm shower before bed.  After he tucked Teddy in for the night, he fell into a deep and thankfully dreamless sleep.  He woke only once to tend to Teddy.  If the baby woke more that night, one of the girls or Kreacher must have taken care of him because he didn’t wake otherwise.  When he woke up the next morning, he felt cautiously optimistic for the first time in a year.  After breakfast with the girls, Hermione and Ginny said their farewells and returned to The Burrow.  After the left, he got Teddy ready for the day.  Then Harry and Teddy went to Diagon Alley to purchase some chocolate before returning to St. Mungo’s.  When they got to the hospital, Remus was sitting up smiling at them.  In response, Harry did something he was not able to do for who knew how long; he smiled back.


	2. Farewell to Mrs. Wolf, Hello to Friends Old and New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things that happened at Tonks' memorial service.

After much thought and careful consideration, Harry had decided that Grimmauld Place was where he should set up residence.  However, it needed some extensive cleansing and remodeling before he could live there on a permanent basis.  Though most of the darker things that had plagued the house had been purged by the Order of the Phoenix, some things persisted.  Harry didn’t want to take any chances that he’d stumble upon any nasty surprises.  So, he hired a slew of magical contractors that specialized in renovating and remodeling homes with old magic.  Harry had hired these contractors on Andy’s recommendation.  They were well equipped to deal with things like taking down Walburga’s portrait, removing dark artifacts, and refurbishing the tapestry.  Part of the crew was even comprised of curse-breakers and an ex-auror for when things got nasty.   They had cost more than other contractors, but Harry figured if they could get that damn portrait off the wall he’d happily pay double what they’d asked. 

The remodel was expected to take at least four months.  The work had to be done using a combination of magical and muggle means.  This meant that the process would be slower going than usual.  In addition, some of the rooms were heavily damaged from neglect, dark objects and creatures, or (in the case of the master bedroom) housing hippogriffs.  The only thing that was saving any time and money was the fact that Harry wasn’t really changing the layout of the home.  He was only refurbishing and updating where it was necessary. Granted, this was still a large undertaking.  Furthermore, after the remodel was over he’d still have to refurnish the house.  Harry had instructed that all of the house’s current non-destroyed beyond repair, non-lethal, and legal furnishings be shrunk and put into the attic with clear labels.  Harry figured he could sort through it all later at his own leisure when the house was finished.

While his house was being remodeled, Andromeda had offered him a room at her new home.  He’d grown quite attached to his godson over the past few weeks.  Aside from being a completely adorable little baby, Teddy seemed to have taken a shine to Harry as well.  Harry could calm him when others couldn’t.  Teddy never fussed when Harry put him to sleep. Harry enjoyed talking to Teddy as he went about his day.  All this helped Harry feel needed.  With Andromeda and Remus’ current health problems, Harry felt like he needed to be there to take care of his godson.  This need kept him from descending too far into the gloom that tempted him.  He was still having nightmares and blaming himself for everything.  His love for his godson helped give him purpose.  Harry couldn’t curl up and sleep the day away; Teddy needed to be fed and changed and loved.  So, when Andy had offered him a room with her, Harry had gratefully accepted.

Harry’s first week living there was awful.  It had taken the Ministry a bit of time to settle everything after the battle.  Every dead body needed to be accounted for, and, much to Harry’s surprise, there was not an extremely reliable way of doing so magically.  Thus, the bodies had been put under a stasis spell and the ministry had to go around manually taking account of those who lost their lives on both sides of the battle.  It had taken a solid two weeks from the battle to accomplish the task.  Only once all the deaths were accounted for did the Ministry release the bodies.  The release of the bodies happened a few days before he moved into his borrowed room.  So, the first week Harry spent in Andy’s home was celebrated with funerals and memorial services.

Tonks’ memorial service was held as soon as Remus was out of the hospital; she had been cremated once her body was released in accordance with her will.  The memorial service was awful.  The morning had been spent with people giving touching eulogies. Then there was a sort of receiving line for those wishing to offer their sympathies.  Remus held himself together well.  He’d confided in Harry earlier that he and Dora had prepared themselves for this sort of outcome before the battle.  This preparation seemed to have helped him, although, he did shed some tears when it was his turn to speak.  Andromeda, however, looked like a good breeze would knock her over.  Harry wondered if it was from the exhaustion of holding back tears.  She did not cry when she spoke in the morning.  Nor did she tear-up when anyone else said anything.  In fact, she was comforting people in the stupid line that were crying on her.  Harry found that distasteful.  She had lost her daughter.  Her job was to be comforted today, not to do any comforting. 

Harry’s job was take turns with Remus holding Teddy.  When he was holding him, every now and then he’d look down at his godson and a wave of guilt would wash over him.  He tried to control it.  Remus had been right the day he woke up.  This wasn’t actually his fault, but it was still difficult. So, he did his best to let the feeling go and help Remus and Andy the best he could.  The receiving line seemed to never end.  Many of the faces were familiar to Harry.  Order members and old professors populated the line.  Two visitors stood out, though.  The first was the Weasely clan.

It was about midday when a hoard of red heads swarmed the funeral parlor with Hermione in tow.  Harry felt his heart jump.  He’d been avoiding the Weasely’s since battle.  Whenever he thought of the Weasely’s the past few weeks, he hated himself.  They had treated him like family.  He repaid them by getting Fred killed and Ron tortured into insanity.  He wanted to run and hide right now.  Remus seemed to sense his intentions.  He leaned down a bit to whisper in Harry’s ear his hand placed lightly on Harry’s shoulder.

“Calm yourself, Harry.  Try to remember that no one blames you for anything.  The Weasely’s are still your family, and your family loves you.  They’ll be hurt if you run now.  Molly’s probably upset that you haven’t been in touch sooner.  So, you should probably prepare for the hug of your life from her.  Bet ten you sickles she crushes you into a bear hug before you could spit out the word ‘Quidditch.’”

Harry almost chuckled at that.  Remus was probably right about Molly.  He was definitely right that the younger man couldn’t run away this time.  Time played a funny trick on him then.  It simultaneously sprinted and crawled.  It seemed to take forever for the Weasely clan to work their way through the line to Remus and him.  Yet, it was all too soon for Harry.  Remus had been right, though; Mrs. Weasely had him in a bone crushing hug before he could say “Quidditch.”  Harry stiffened at the contact.  Mrs. Weasely felt him.

“Oh, Harry, I want you stop thinking whatever silly idea you have.  You haven’t shied away from my hugs in years.  You have no reason to start now.  None of what’s happened is your fault, dear.  You’re not responsible and I don’t want you feeling guilty for any of it.  This goes double for what happened to Fred and Ron.  We all knew the risks going in.  I don’t want to lose another son over this.  Furthermore, I expect you to be at his services in two days.  We’re still your family and there is nothing that can change that.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Weasely,” Harry said in a choked voice trying to keep the tears at bay.  “I’m sorrier for your loss than I can put into words.”

“Thank you, dear,” Molly said shedding some tears.  She gathered Harry in her arms again and whispered, “I’m sorry for your loss as well.  I know how much you meant to each other,” at these words Harry began to panic.  They had been so discreet.  He wondered how she knew about their relationship.  Clearly sensing his panic, she continued.

“Don’t worry, dear, your secret is safe with Arthur and me.  I’m happy you had each other for a while.  You seemed to make each other very happy.  I’m glad my son knew love in his short life.  So, please make sure you’re there for services.  I know he’d have wanted you there.”  At that, Harry felt the tears over flow.  He didn’t quite cry.  He simply stood there in the arms of the only mother he’d ever known and let the tears fall down his face as he shook slightly.  When they parted, Harry noticed that Remus had a curious expression on his face.  It was as if he heard some of what she was talking about and wanted to ask.  Harry found sudden interest in the carpet pattern.  He wasn’t ready for the questions, not that this was the appropriate time or place anyway. 

“Remus, I’m sorry again for your loss.  If you’re feeling up to it, we’d love to see you at Fred’s.  But, we’d all understand if…,” Mrs. Weasely started, but couldn’t finish before Remus interrupted. 

“I will be there, Molly.  I’m very sorry for your loss as well.  I was privileged to know your son as a student and a friend.  Nothing could keep me away from saying farewell,” Remus said in an understanding tone.  He hugged the motherly witch who squeezed him back in return.  The rest of the Weasely family said their condolences and gave hugs.  Something must have shaken up Harry.  Every hug from each Weasely and Hermione had him on edge.  The touch felt wrong for some reason.  Harry figured it had to do with all the guilt he was felling.  The only family member he didn’t receive a hug from was George. 

George had locked himself in his old room in the Burrow and had asked to be left alone.  He sent a card expressing his condolences with his mother. It was a testament to George’s current mood that the card was just a card without any attempt at humor or practical joke attached to it.  Harry tried to speak to Ron, but he wasn’t able to respond.  Ron’s condition really sank in then.  His best friend was not coming back any time soon.  Harry decided right then and there he’d do whatever he could to help the Weasely’s and Ron to make sure he had a good life.  He chatted a bit with Ginny, Percy, and Hermione.  After staying for about an hour and a half, they left for supper at the Burrow.

Watching the Weasely’s departure drew Harry’s attention to the parlor door.   Harry noticed a shock of white hair pacing about the entrance.  In all the people in the wizarding world, he knew who that sort of hair belonged to.  _Why is Malfoy here_ , he thought.  He watched Draco Malfoy do his strange dance for a good ten minutes before he passed the baby off to Remus and decided to go find out.  When he got to the entrance, he noticed that all three members of the Malfoy family were present.  Mr. Malfoy looked extremely uncomfortable.  Mrs. Malfoy looked unsure and insecure.  Draco looked as stressed and unsure as his mother with a heaping dose of exhaustion added in.  Harry decided to address Mrs. Malfoy.  He figured since she saved him in the forest that maybe they had the best chance of being civil towards each other. 

“Mrs. Malfoy, why has Draco been doing a good impression of a nervous Hufflepuff across the parlor entrance for the past few minutes?”  Mrs. Malfoy took a deep breath before she answered. 

“We’re here because I wanted to offer my sister my condolences. She’s family after all.  However, we aren’t sure we should go in. Maybe this isn’t the best time.  We’re a bit unsure she’d want to see us after everything.  It would be understandable if that were the case.  I’m just worried about her.  I know how I felt when I though I lost…  If it was me, I would miss her if…,” she tapered off glancing at her own son.  Memories of that night in the forest flitted across her face when she didn’t know if her own child was alive or dead. Her voice cracked and her eyes watered when she spoke again.

“We’re not delusional about what we’ve done.  I just want to make sure my one remaining sister is as alright as she can be.  I guess we’re all a little a nervous.  I know this is probably the worst time to…”

“I’ll ask Andy.  Give me a minute,” he cut her off. 

He knew where she was coming from, but as far as he was concerned it was up to Andy whether or not she wanted to see her sister.  Mrs. Malfoy was right that Andromeda not wanting to see her would be understandable.  Andromeda’s husband and daughter both lost their lives at the hands of Death Eaters.  Death Eaters had tortured her to a point that she now had a damaged heart.  Not to mention, the years of silence and bad-blood between the two that started when Andy married her late husband.  In Harry’s opinion, Andy not wanting to see her Voldemort supporting sister, Death Eater brother-in-law, and Death Eater nephew would be more than _understandable_.  However, at the end of the day it was Andromeda’s choice to see her sister or not.  All he had to do was relay the message.

So, he walked back to Remus and Andy; ready to relay what Mrs. Malfoy had just told him.  Andy raised an eyebrow questioningly at him.  She had not been paying any attention to her estranged nephew’s earlier display.  Harry glanced back at the door.  All three members of the Malfoy family were standing there.  Narcissa was positioned slightly in front of her husband and son.  Draco and Mr. Malfoy looked ready for rejection.  Mrs. Malfoy looked cautiously optimistic.   

Harry drew a breath and said, “Andy, Mrs. Malfoy and her family are just outside the door.  Mrs. Malfoy says they want to offer their condolences, but she wanted to make sure that it’d be ok to come in.  She seems worried about you, but with everything she’s not sure you’d…”

Harry never finished explaining the situation.  Before Harry knew what happened, he found himself stumbling back after being pushed by a black haired blob.  He recovered in time to watch as Andromeda flew into her sister’s arms and broke down.  Narcissa wasn’t in a much better state.  Both sisters simply sobbed on each other for a few minutes before Lucius Malfoy, of all people, gently led them to one of the sofas in the parlor.  Harry was suddenly reminded of Dumbledore’s assertions that love was a powerful enough force to defeat Voldemort. Harry had thought that he was crazy at the time.  Even after accomplishing his task, he wasn’t sure he’d understood.  He felt like he just caught a small glimpse of what Dumbledore had meant, and was humbled by it.  Love had taken a solid twenty years of bad blood between two sisters and made it practically inconsequential in twenty seconds. The surprises weren’t over yet, though.  Harry watch as Draco approached Remus and him after breaking apart from his family.

“Professor Lupin, I’m very sorry about your loss.  If there is anything I can do for you, Aunt Andromeda, or my young cousin Teddy; please let me know,” Draco said in a very serious tone of voice.  All of his former arrogance was gone from his voice.   He looked too old.  He looked tired.  Harry realized that he wasn’t looking at young man of seventeen.  He was looking at man that’d been beaten, broken, and tried by the fires of hell.  He had time to wonder absently if this was how he looked to others too: old beyond his years, battle weary, and downtrodden.  He wondered if they would ever look young again, or if they were stuck looking like battle hardened veterans for life.

“Thank you, Draco.  Please call me, Remus.  I haven’t been your professor for many years,” Remus said in a tone that couldn’t quite hide some surprise at Draco’s humble condolences.  “I really appreciate your sympathies.  It’s been a tough year for us all.  I’m glad that you came through in one piece.  I am sorry for your losses as well.  I remember how close you were to Crabbe.”

Draco looked like he was about to cry at the mention of Crabbe’s name.  Harry didn’t feel much better than Draco looked.  He hated knowing that Crabbe had been engulfed in the flames, even if he’d just tried to kill Harry moments before.  Crabbe’s death felt like another in a long line that he should’ve been able to prevent.  Whatever his crimes were, he was only seventeen.  He should have gotten a shot at redemption.  In Harry’s own mind, if he had been better, then he could have saved Crabbe and given him that shot.  Remus used his free hand to gently squeeze his arm in a comforting gesture that also served as a reminder that he wasn’t to blame.

“Thank you.  The last few years have been hard.  I wish that things had been different.  I’d like to think he was my friend for many years despite how things ended,” Harry must have made a face that showed how guilty he was feeling because the next thing Draco said was directed at him. 

“I know you probably feel guilty about Crabbe, Potter.  You seem to have this compulsive need to save people.  However, keep in mind that there is not a single person who blames you for what happened.  That includes me and Goyle.  I’m grateful that I was able to escape the flames.  Thank you, Potter, for saving me.  It was more than I deserved.” 

“One of the reasons I came here today is that I was hoping that I could shake your hand in gratitude, and to offer my friendship again.  I don’t expect you to take it.  I once demanded friendship from you thinking that I was entitled to it somehow.  I realize now that I went about it in the wrong way.  I hope that we can at least be civil in the future,” Draco nervously extended his hand.  Without much thought Harry extended his own.  Their hands met and shook.

“You weren’t the only one who was a jerk eight years ago, Malfoy.  I judged you very quickly and never allowed my opinion of you to alter.  You’re right it’s been a rough couple of years.  Every one of us deserves a chance to put them behind us and work towards a better future.  That includes you.  I would be happy to count you as a friend in the years to come.”

“Friends sounds nice, Pott… Harry,” Draco said the plea ringing in his tone.

“Friends does indeed sound nice, Draco,” Harry agreed. They spent some time engaging in small talk.  Harry’s mouth dropped when Draco asked to hold Teddy and Remus let him.   He practically fainted when Draco smiled at his godson and made soft cooing noises as he rocked and bounced him; Draco’s attention completely stolen by the two month old babe. 

“Careful, Harry, you’re liable to attract flies with your mouth opened that wide,” Remus said quietly to him. 

“The flies should be so lucky,” he quipped back lamely.  He closed his mouth, though.  It wouldn’t do to have everyone realize the shock he was in at seeing Malf… Draco act like a sappy human over a baby.  It was short-lived, but interesting to watch.

“I’m going to go join my mother and aunt.  I hope to hear from you both soon,” Draco said a few minutes later when Teddy began to fuss.  Draco passed the baby back to Harry.  By now there was another stream of visitors that Remus had to accept condolences from, so, Harry decided to go out and tend to the baby without bothering Remus.   

The Malfoy’s stayed as long as they could.  They had to report to their London home, where they were staying while their manor was being entirely redone, at a specified time.  They were currently under a very lax form of house arrest while they awaited their trials.  With Harry’s testimony, Narcissa and Draco would probably avoid punishment altogether.  Lucius would probably receive a drastically reduced sentence.  Narcissa and Andromeda made plans to see each other again soon, but their parting was a little strained.  Bellatrix was being buried a day after Fred, and some of the previous tensions between the two returned when Narcissa carefully asked if Andromeda would attend.  Andromeda had given a shaky response that didn’t indicate if she would go or not.  In all fairness to her, Harry couldn’t imagine anyone grieving honestly for Bellatrix, sister or not.  The rest of the day was uneventful, but exhausting.  By the time they returned to Andromeda’s home they all took off for their respective rooms and retired for the evening.

Harry fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.  In his dreams, he found himself in the middle of the apple orchard outside of the Burrow.  He was lying out on an old blanket; basking in the warm summer sun.  In the background, he could hear various members of the Weasely family trying to get ready for Bill’s wedding.  He sighed and turned on his side to see a mischievous grin.  Harry returned the grin and leaned in.  Fred met him halfway and kissed him sweetly.  Fred’s arms wove their way around him and pulled him closer and deepened their kiss.  Harry moaned into the kiss as he felt Fred’s tongue caress his own.  It ended all too soon when Fred broke their kiss, but continued to hold him.  Harry snuggled into his warmth; content for a few precious moments.  Fred sighed.

“I wish you would tell me about this secret mission you’re leaving on,” Dream Fred whispered in his ear.

“I can’t tell you.  It’s going to be very dangerous.  I refuse to put you in more danger.  I lo…,” Harry was interrupted before he could finish.

“Harry, don’t.  I suppose I can understand about your mission.  But, don’t say that, right now.  If you feel that way, tell me after the war,” Dream Fred interrupted firmly as a forlorn look played quickly across his face. 

“Why do you want me to wait on saying that?  Merlin, Fred, it’s a war and I’m the number one target.  I may never get to say it.  I just want to tell you how I feel.  Do you doubt me that much?  Don’t you think I know how I feel,” Harry grumped.

“I know you think you love me, but I worry that it’s the war talking.  I feel like you’re expecting to die, and you’re trying to live an entire lifetime between then and now.  Part of that would be falling in love, so, I don’t know if it’s genuine.  I think when the war is over; you’ll see we have an expiry date.  I also think you want to be a Weasely so badly that you’d marry Percy if he was gay.  Which is sort of stupid, you’re a Weasely already. You don’t need to marry any of us,” Dream Fred muttered.

“Do you really think I’m only with you because of your family,” Harry asked offended at the implication.

“Not consciously.  I just don’t think you’d be with me if you had a larger world.  If you had all the options afforded to everyone else: a loving family; no enemies; and freedom to move about; would you honestly still be with me? I think you’d be with someone else.  You’d probably be with someone who is more down to earth, quiet, mature, and maybe even a bit bookish.  So, other than my family, I don’t know what else you could possibly see in me,” Dream Fred’s arms loosened around him.

“Well… First, I’m pretty sure you just described Hermione, which would be gross.  I’d never date her in a million years… Wrong plumbing and all… As for what I see in you, you’ve got an amazing sense of humor.  You’re brilliant at creating pranks and just plain brilliant on top of that.  You’re damned attractive.  Not to mention you’re a fantastic lover that’s incredibly well endowed,” Harry reached down and cupped the red head through his dress robes.  Dream Fred groaned at the contact and pushed slightly into the touch.

“I take it back.  You’re not after my family.  You’re just after my body” Dream Fred’s face broke into a wide shining smile, his own hands moving down to rest on Harry’s ass.  He continued in a teasing tone, “I suppose there are worse things that could happen to a bloke.  And, don’t misread me.  I’m not letting you go so long as you’ll have me.  I know the chance of a lifetime when its hand is on my cock, enticing me to fuck him into oblivion.  So, let the history books reflect that Fred Weasely was the Chosen One’s human play thing…,” he broke off chuckling as he gave Harry’s rear a firm squeeze.  Harry gave Dream Fred’s shoulder a light smack for all the teasing.

“I really hate being called that, but since you’re resigned to your role… Maybe we should have some playtime before your brother’s nuptials,” Harry whispered in Fred’s ear.

“It’s official. You really do only want me for my body.  By the way, said body will be moving into my unoccupied bedroom for some playtime if you wish to follow,” Dream Fred winked and went into the house. Harry followed him and stood outside Fred and George’s old room in the Burrow.  He opened the door and found himself inside the room of requirement. 

Harry felt pure terror run through his bones.  He began running through the room searching for Fred.  He knew that Crabbe was there and would unleash his Fiendfyre.  He suddenly remembered that Fred wasn’t in this room.  Fred was battling somewhere else in the castle.  Harry had to find him.  He had to get out of this room.  Yet, he was clearly trapped.  There was no exit in sight.  Suddenly, he was standing there with Ron, Hermione, Malfoy, and Goyle.  The scene from that night replayed in Harry’s dream.  Crabbe lost control of his flames.  Harry grabbed Malfoy on the back of his broom.  He watched as the flames engulfed Crabbe, but at the last minute Crabbe was not there.  In his place, Teddy was lying in his cot surrounded by the flames crying.  Harry felt sheer terror like he never had in his life.  He turned on his broom to go back to rescue his godson, but he was too late.  The flames had engulfed the baby.

“TEDDY!” He woke up screaming for his godson.  Before he could process that he was awake he was surrounded by a warm embrace.

“Shh… Shh… Harry, it’s ok.  You’re safe.  Teddy’s safe.  He’s in his room sleeping right now.  You’re at Andromeda Tonks’ home in a guest bedroom.  He’s gone. We’re all fine,” Remus soothed him one arm holding him close to his chest as his free hand carded through Harry’s hair.  Harry unconsciously shifted into the embrace. 

“Remus, I’m so sorry.  I didn’t wake you, did I,” he asked shaking and trying to get his heart to slow to normal. 

“Hush, I was up.  Even if I wasn’t, there’s no need to apologize for this, Harry.  Shh… It was just a dream,” Remus tried to console him.  Harry let himself be held for a few moments.  He took a few deep breaths before breaking the hold Remus had on him.

“Remus, I need to check on Teddy,” Harry said the image of his godson engulfed in flames still fresh in his mind.

“Harry, he’s fine.  I just checked on him before I heard you,” Remus cajoled.

“Remus,” Harry said in a strained voice, “I need to make sure he’s safe.  It was my nightmare.  He was in the room and I couldn’t save him.  I need to see him, Remus.  I won’t be able to sleep until I do.”

“I understand.  Do you want to talk about it,” Remus offered. 

“Not right now.  Right now, I want to check on Teddy and get back to sleep.  I’m thinking of going to Lavender and Colin’s wakes for a little while tomorrow.  I don’t need to be sleep deprived on top of being a hot mess,” Harry said trying to make light of his nightmare.  He felt Remus tense next to him.  Harry gave him a questioning look.

“I keep seeing them as the children they were when I was their teacher.  That’s how I see them, even the little Death Eaters.  I saw some of them before I passed out,” Remus’ voice sounded rough. It was Harry’s turn to give a comforting hug.  Remus shook a little and continued softly.  “They were all so young and full of potential.  I was prepared for people like myself and my wife to be injured or killed in battle.  I’m old and Dora was an auror.  That makes sense, right, for the old and the soldiers to perish in battle?  I don’t know why I thought differently.  Look at how young your parents were in the first war.  Hell, I was young during the first war, but I never expected that my students would…,” he paused there for a moment and just let Harry hug him.  For the second time that night, Harry felt Remus’ arms around him to share some comfort.  They held onto each other for a few moments, not speaking or not crying, just clinging to each other.  Eventually, Remus drew a deep breath and said, “That’s why I was up.  I’ve been thinking of them since Mrs. Weasely was talking about Fred.  You know what?  I think I need to check on Teddy too.” 

So, they pulled themselves out of the others embrace, and left Harry’s room to check on Teddy.  Teddy’s room was a small space that they had created with a spell when Andy offered Harry the spare bedroom.  The house originally only had three bedrooms.  They had placed it in between Andy and Remus’ rooms.  It was small, but how much space did a two and a half month old baby really need? When they peered inside, they saw Teddy sleeping peacefully. Reassured, Remus and Harry went back to their respective rooms.  After tossing and turning for a solid half hour, Harry fell back to sleep.  He didn’t dream.


	3. The Wolf Goes to Another Funeral

Lavender’s wake was difficult to attend.  Thankfully, Hermione had joined him.  It was odd being there.  Neither Harry nor Hermione were that close with her.  In truth, they had often found her a bit annoying when she was alive.  However, they did get to know her when she was dating Ron.  Besides, Pavarti needed some support and Gryffindors stick together.  Colin’s wake had been harder for Harry.  He was glad Hermione was with him.  Harry’s restless night had left him witless and on edge.  Hermione was able to provide clarity.  The Creevy family was muggle and they looked absolutely lost.  Harry tried to comfort his parents with kind words about Colin’s bravery and kindness, but they sounded hollow in his ears.  Kind words couldn’t pull someone back from the veil.  He hugged a sobbing Dennis and felt like complete and utter crap for the thousandth time since the battle.  He was glad that Remus had decided to stay home.  After the events of last night, Harry felt sure that he’d have had a weeping werewolf close to breakdown if he had attended. 

After Colin’s wake they decided to go for a meal in Muggle London.  In a weird way, dinner had been nice.  Hermione distracted him with the future ahead of them.  Hogwarts needed to be rebuilt.  Professor McGonagall was going to start a campaign for volunteers to assist with the reconstruction efforts.  Hermione was not going to be able to help.  She was planning on leaving for Australia to find her parents next week.  She expected to be gone for the summer.  Harry wasn’t sure he could handle being at Hogwarts right now.  Though, if McGonagall asked, he’d probably help.  They discussed whether or not they’d return to finish their seventh year.  Hermione was set on going.  Harry once again felt unsure.  He had a job offer to go directly into auror training, but he didn’t know if that was what he wanted to do anymore. It seemed pointless to return to school and continue his original program.  Additionally, between his nerves and new super celebrity status, he didn’t want to spend the year having everyone discussing how he’d lost it.  Harry was leaning towards hiring a tutor before taking his NEWTs.  Furthermore, according to a letter he got from Gringotts a few days ago, he needed to sort out the estates and Wizengamot seats he’d inherited from the Black’s and Potter’s.  Being at school could hinder that.  They chatted about other things for a while longer, trying to keep their focus on non-death related topics.  They ended up focused on possible changes to creature laws due to the increased werewolf population.  They carefully avoided discussing the reason for the increase.  When the bill had been paid, they parted ways. 

When he got back to Andy’s, he played with Teddy a little bit and had some pleasant conversation with Remus and Andy.  As with Hermione, there was a conscious effort to avoid certain topics.  As they chatted, Teddy fell asleep in his arms.  He decided to follow his godson’s example and turn in early.  It was still relatively early when he turned in.  He was physically and emotionally exhausted, and facing a trying tomorrow.  He needed a full night’s sleep without interruption.  So, Harry took some Dreamless Sleep and slipped into a deep, empty (but restful), sleep. 

……

The day of Fred’s funeral dawned bright, sunny, and warm.  Harry couldn’t decide if he found the weather fitting or horribly ironic.  In a way, it was fitting.  To Harry, Fred had been like a bright day filled with sunshine.  Fred compelled happiness from people simply by existing.  Of course, his loss left him feeling anything but bright and sunshine-y.  It felt ironic that on a day when all he wanted to do was bury himself in his blankets and cry, the weather was compellingly cheerful.  Harry woke with the sun, but delayed getting out of his bed.  He didn’t need to be at the Burrow until this afternoon.  The Weasely’s were waking Fred there before his burial in the orchard at sunset. 

As the hours passed, Harry slipped in and out of consciousness after casting a black-out charm on his drapes.  Around nine-thirty, Remus knocked on his door to call him to breakfast.  Harry ignored him until he went away.  About an hour and a half later, Remus was back at his door to nag him into the shower.  Harry complied this time.  He dragged himself from his bed and walked out of his room toward the guest bath.  Remus was saying something to him, but Harry didn’t hear him.  He felt disembodied going through his morning routine.  All too soon it was time to leave.  He and Remus were going to travel there through the floo.  Apparating in broad daylight into residential areas was generally frowned upon.  Andy and Teddy were going to stay home.  They were going to entertain Mrs. Malfoy and probably Draco over tea in the afternoon.

“Harry, are you alright,” Remus asked just as Harry made a move toward the floo powder; concern written across his features, “I don’t think you’ve heard a thing I’ve said all day.”  Harry considered his answer before speaking.  He couldn’t just shout, “NO I’M NOT BLOODY ALRIGHT!  HOW DID YOU FEEL WHEN SIRIUS AND TONKS DIED?  HOW COULD YOU ASK SUCH A MORONIC QUESTION?”  Even though he figured Remus suspected something, he technically didn’t know what Fred was to him.  There was no real reason to be angry with him.  Yet, he couldn’t quite lie to him.  For some reason, he knew that he could be truthful with Remus.  And, more importantly, he felt in his bones that he should be truthful with Remus.  So, he took a moment before he answered.

“I’m not alright, Remus,” he replied voice nearly a whisper.  “I’ll get through today, but I’m not okay.”

“Do you want to talk about it before we go,” he asked.  Harry knew that in the near future he’d have to tell Remus all about Fred.  They were looking at a minimum of another four months of cohabitation.  Keeping things a secret was unlikely.  However, this wasn’t the right time.

“I promised you the other night that I would talk to you.  I meant it, but not today. I think you’ve figured out some of it.  I promise to fill in the gaps soon, but I can’t…,” Harry felt his eyes prick and he turned his face away from Remus’ concerned gaze.  He didn’t want to cry.  He had done enough crying to last three lifetimes.  He wiped the renegade tears away with the sleeves of his dress robe.  Remus patted his shoulder.  He got control of himself, “We have to go, Remus.  Guests should start arriving soon.”

With that said he took a pinch of the floo powder; headed into the flames; shouted for “the Burrow;” and felt the world turn upside down as he travelled through the floo.  He fell out of the Burrow’s grate with his usual post-floo grace.  Wizard travel was wonderful for arriving places instantly, but severely lacking in non-vertigo inducing methods. 

“Elegant as ever aren’t you, Harry-kins?” Harry spun around towards the voice.  For just a moment, it all felt like a cruel joke had been played on him.   But when he turned, he was faced with a redhead missing an ear. In that moment, he cursed his luck that his dead lover had an identical twin. 

“Sod off it, George,” Harry tried to snap back, but his voice held no bite.  George went over and started to help Harry dust off.  Harry stiffened slightly at the contact.  The floo activated again and Remus stepped out lightly.

“It’s good to see you little brother.  I know it would have meant a lot to Fred,” George told him meaningfully.  George was the only person they had let in on their affair.  It really would have been impossible to keep him in the dark as close as he and Fred were.  Remus had that look on his face that said he understood that he was missing something and wanted to ask.  Harry just nodded his head in agreement with George.  Then George shook Remus’ hand saying, “Thank you for coming as well Remus.  I know you’re still recovering.”

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else, and my recovery is going well enough.  I’m very sorry for your loss,” Remus responded.

“I’m sorry for yours as well.  Please forgive my absence at Tonks’ memorial service.  I haven’t been well since Fred,” George broke off. 

“There is nothing to forgive. When the first war ended, I locked myself away for a solid month.  The losses hit me hard,” Remus admitted looking a little uncomfortable at his revelation.  It was a look Harry had come to know meant that Remus was thinking of Harry’s parents.  He reached out and gave Remus’ hand a light squeeze.  Remus squeezed back then asked George, “Where is the rest of your family?  It’s awfully quiet around here.”

“Mum’s probably sobbing quietly in the kitchen.  Dad’s probably doing the same thing in the garage.  Neither of them wants the other to know they’re upset which is rather ridiculous.  Dad can’t lie to Mum to save his life.  Percy and Hermione are upstairs with Ron helping him get ready.  Charlie, Bill, and Fleur should be arriving from Shell Cottage any minute.  Ginny is at the store getting some last minute items for our guests per Mum’s orders.  A few people have already come and gone.  You two are our first loyal mourners,” he ended trying and failing to make light of the situation. 

Harry felt unnerved.  Once Remus pointed out the quiet, it was all he could hear.  It was _wrong_.  This was the Burrow! This was a home that had always been full of noise.  Mrs. Weasely was supposed to be banging pots in the kitchen and calling them down for a meal.  Ron and Ginny were supposed to be outside practicing their Quidditch positions and shouting taunts at each other.  Mr. Weasely should have been listening to Percy prattle on about cauldron bottoms or something equally tedious.  Fred and George were supposed to be the loudest contributors to the cacophony.  They were supposed to be causing random explosions and shrieks from pranks successfully pulled.  Quiet, Harry thought, was not a state that suited the Burrow. 

“Alright, well I’m going to go check on Arthur.  You’ll be alright with George, Harry,” Remus asked.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.  I think we should go check on Mrs. Weasely. Then, I think I’ll go…,” Harry said suddenly realizing the absence of a coffin in the living room.  He looked around and caught sight of a tent outside in the backyard.  It looked quite a bit like the tent that they used for Bill’s wedding the previous summer.  The way it was all set up looked beautiful.  Harry felt like it was some sort of tragic joke that a funeral should be picturesque. 

“Yeah, I’ll look after Harry-kins.  Come on, let’s go check on Mum,” George said tugging the sleeve of his robe. 

George had been right.  Mrs. Weasely was in the kitchen and her face showed signs of recently spilt tears.  However, her face broke into a small grin when she saw Harry.

“Harry, dear, I’m so happy you’re here.  How have you been?  You’re looking a bit peaky.  Are you eating,” Mrs. Weasely fussed over him.  A small part of Harry was impressed.  Even in the middle of intense grief, she was still fussing over him.  He opened his arms and hugged her briefly.

“I told you I’d be here Mrs. Weasely.  Everything looks lovely.  Fred would’ve approved,” Harry said as consolingly as possible. 

“Thank you, Harry.  We were going to clear out the living room, but when we saw the weather we thought outside would be better.  Fred always makes me think of sunshine. He is,” Mrs. Weasely stopped in the middle of whatever she was about to say.  Harry understood.  He had done the same thing when Sirius had died.  Every so often, he’d slip up and talk about Sirius as if he was still alive.  Mrs. Weasely seemed to have caught herself doing the same thing.  She teared up again, “I mean he was always so cheerful.”

“Yeah, he was Mrs. Weasely.  He brightened every room he walked into,” Harry tried to console her.

“He did.  Didn’t he?  How are you holding up,” she asked trying to keep her tone even.

“I don’t know,” he replied honestly.  Lying to Molly Weasely just wasn’t done.  She got the truth out of you anyway.  It was easier just to tell the truth first thing.  “I miss him very much.  I never thought I’d survive and he wouldn’t. We always talked about me dying.  I was prepared for that to some extent.  Then when Snape showed me his memories I knew I had to let Voldemort kill me.  I was headed toward my death when we joined Percy and Fred.  When Fred fell, I thought we’d be reunited within a few hours at most…,” he trailed off gazing intently at the kitchen table.  He willed the tears from his eyes.  Fred wouldn’t have wanted any of them crying.  He would have pulled a distracting prank by now and called everyone blubbering idiots.  His daydream was interrupted by Ginny’s return from whatever store Mrs. Weasely had sent her to and Percy, Ron, and Hermione trudging into the kitchen.  They were joined shortly by Remus and Mr. Weasely. 

Hugs were passed around between everyone then.  Harry didn’t have quite as much of a problem with the hugging as he did at Tonks’ memorial two days ago.  As they were exchanging pleasantries, the floo roared to life.  George went to see who had come through.  He returned a minute or two later with Bill, Fleur, and Charlie.  When Harry hugged each of them, he had the same reaction to them as he had everyone else. He felt stiff and their touches felt strangely wrong.  They all exchanged small, distracting words for a few minutes; and for just a little while it felt better.  There was still something missing, but it seemed more familiar with everyone talking at once.  It sounded better.  It was more like how the Burrow should sound.  It ended when Fleur checked a fancy looking timepiece that graced her elegant wrist.

“Perhaps we should head under the tent.  Many people will be arriving soon,” she said in her accented English.  The silence crept in again.

“I suppose Fleur has a point.  Any last minute details that need ironing out,” George asked in that fake light tone.

“Pall bearers,” Bill answered shakily.

“You, me, Perce, Charlie, Harry, and Lee,” George said quickly looking at Harry questioningly.

“I’ll do it,” Harry said not entirely comfortable with the idea, but not wanting to upset his adopted family.  “I’m sure Lee will help as well.”

With that settled and a few more minor wrinkles ironed, Mr. and Mrs. Weasely headed outside.  They were followed by Harry, Remus, Ron being led by Percy, and Hermione.  The others would follow shortly. Fleur was helping Ginny to finish the hors d'oeuvres. Charlie, George, and Bill were doing some complex magic so that the floo would deposit people in the yard.  They needed to transfigure the fireplace so that it was closed on the inside, and opened on the outside while not structurally damaging the house. 

Harry felt odd as he entered the tent.  He could see Fred’s coffin looming in front of him and felt the panic in his chest rise.  This corpse wasn’t Fred.  Fred was the boy gave him the Marauder’s Map in third year.  Fred was the angel that gave him comfort after watching Cedric Diggory die and Voldemort return in fourth year.  Fred was the man that gave him his first kiss from a man in fifth year to comfort him after Mr. Weasely was attacked.  Fred was his rock who gave him something to cling to in the middle of the storm during his sixth year.  Fred was torment, torture, bliss, and heaven who gave him headaches and hope in equal measure last year.  The thing in the coffin wasn’t Fred.  After the wall came down, Harry had done his best to make sure nothing further happened to Fred’s body in hopes that Mrs. Weasely could have an open casket.  However, seeing him laid out in his best dress robes in some unnatural pose was a harrowing experience for him.  As he stared, Harry didn’t realize that he’d started to shake or that he was frozen in place until he felt Remus grab his arm.

“I’m alright, Remus,” Harry tried to reassure.  Remus looked like he wasn’t buying it.  “Really, I’m ok.  I just want this over with,” he said softly.  He knew Remus could hear him.  It was about a week away from the full moon.  Remus’ wolf senses were sensitive enough that he could hear him easily, but others wouldn’t be able to distinguish what he was saying.  He didn’t want the Weasely’s to think he didn’t want to be here.    

“I can understand that.  I know what it feels like to bury friends and loved ones.  I know that this may seem like small comfort, but it’s actually better to go through with this whole process.  It’s worse when you can’t say goodbye that one last time,” Remus said shaken.  Sirius was clearly on his mind.  Harry wasn’t sure how Remus did it, but his entire perspective on the day changed.  As horrific as this was, he knew Remus was right.  This was his last opportunity to say goodbye.  He didn’t have to like it, but perhaps it would be best in the long run.

“Thanks, Moony.  I’m glad you’re here,” Harry said feeling the most emotionally stable he’d felt all week.

“Where else would I be,” he said as if he hadn’t been a hairsbreadth away from his own death only a week and a half prior.  Harry rolled his eyes.   Remus merely chuckled at his annoyance with his flippant attitude.

“You’re a right idiot sometimes, Remus.  But, I’m grateful for your... support.”

“Just like that I’m back to Remus,” he sighed and shrugged his shoulders. 

“Moony is reserved for when you’re not acting like an ass.”

“That strikes me as a little ironic.  The nickname for the scary werewolf reserved for when he’s being nice. Oh well, at least I got you here,” Remus said as he turned Harry to face Fred’s coffin.

Harry didn’t know whether he wanted to punch Remus or thank him.  He was here and he wasn’t sure that he would have been able to get there without assistance.  Now he had to say goodbye.  Now it was real.  He walked slowly towards the coffin and drew a deep breath.  He peered over at Fred’s body and he felt like running.  He snickered to himself then and thought:  _Where the hell is all my Gryffindor courage now?  I must have used it all up in the battle.  I wonder if that makes me a Slytherin now?_

He reached the coffin and froze.  He wasn’t sure what he should do. He didn’t know any prayers.  He didn’t know any traditional wizarding type of things to do.  He looked over at Remus.  Remus just nudged him forward.  He took one last step towards Fred’s body.  He took a deep breath; cleared his mind; and looked down at Fred’s corpse to say his silent goodbye. 

_Merlin, Fred, I don’t know how to do this.  I never thought we’d be here. I figured it’d be you looking down at me.  What am I supposed to do without you? This isn’t the way things were supposed to work out.  I was supposed to be dead.  You were supposed to grieve an appropriate amount of time and then have a wonderful life. We were supposed to somehow be dead together.  I figured that was going to happen.  When you died, I thought we’d be together again soon.  I knew I was going to my death when I entered the clearing.  Or, we were supposed to make it through together.  I would finally convince you that I loved you.  Then, we would live happily ever after, or have a horrible, messy, breakup._

_You know; if we had a horrible, messy, breakup I think that would make this, saying goodbye, easier somehow. I think that at least then my feelings would’ve run their course.  Instead, I’m standing here loving you; knowing that you’re gone; that you’ll never love me back.  Did you ever love me?  I love… loved you.  You never said that you loved me, but some days I thought you were screaming it with your words and actions.  I thought you loved when we held each other all night when you snuck into the Dursley’s house after Dumbledore died.  I thought you loved me the first time we were together.  You were so patient and gentle.  Hell, you didn’t even crack one joke.  I thought you loved me when we snuck off the day of Bill’s wedding.  We were so passionate that day.  It felt like you said it with a thousand gestures, big and small.  Yet, you never said it.  You never let me say it.  Now, you can’t stop me.  I love you._

_I don’t know where my life will lead me from here.  I feel lost without you.  I want you to know that, wherever you are.  I want you to know I’ll never forget you.  Who forgets their first love, anyhow?  I guess now I can only hope you were right, that there is some magically perfect someone out there for me.  I’m going to miss you, though.  I’d like to think that wherever our futures were headed that we would have always been friends in the end.  I wish I could have saved you.  I hope you don’t hate me for failing to do so.  I promise I’ll think of you often, and that I’ll take care of George and Ron.  I’m going to miss you for always.  Goodbye, my love._

Harry looked away from Fred’s body then.  He refused to cry.  He took a deep breath and moved to where Mrs. Weasely, Mr. Weasely, Percy, Hermione, and a vacant Ron were standing.

“Percy, I can watch Ron this afternoon.  You look like you could use a break and I’d like to hang out with my oldest friend,” Harry offered as gently as he could.

“Well that sounds lovely, Harry,” Mrs. Weasely said.  She seemed to be far away and half listening.  In the distance, he could here George talking to some newly arrived people.  It seemed that they were able to get the floo working properly.  Harry grabbed Ron by his forearm and led him away from the coffin and towards some of the chairs set up at the back of the tent.  Hermione followed him.  Remus was starting to talk to Mr. Weasely, but sent Harry a look that said he’d join them shortly.  Harry helped Ron into a chair before taking a seat next to him.  Hermione sat on his other side.

 “So, ‘Mione what day have you decided to leave for Australia,” Harry asked.  Last night she had been debating between Friday and Saturday.

“I decided on Saturday.  I just got my portkey approved by the Ministry.  It shouldn’t be too hard to find them.  They should be in Sydney.  I planted a suggestion in their minds when I erased myself from their memories.  I couldn’t do more than that without worrying about my magic being obvious to Death Eaters.  I hope that they’re in the city limits.  Suggestions have been known to fail,” she worried.  Harry was about to say something comforting; but Percy, who had apparently decided to follow them, beat him to it. 

“Hermione, you’re one of the most talented witches I know.  If anyone can pull off a successful suggestion, it’s you.  You shouldn’t worry so much,” Percy comforted her.  Hermione didn’t look reassured. 

“It’s still shaky magic. I keep having second thoughts about the whole thing anyway,” she said.

“What do you mean second thoughts, ‘Mione?  Are you thinking about putting it off until you graduate or something,” Harry asked confusedly.

“No.  It’s not the matter of timing.  It’s just…,” she trailed off then.  To Harry, it seemed like she was trying to best organize her next few words.  Harry wondered who would benefit from her tact.  Usually, when she was this careful with her words it was to prevent the wild magic that resulted from his temper tantrums.  However, that didn’t seem to be her aim now.  She sighed before continuing. 

“I just wonder if I’m doing the right thing.  Voldemort is gone.  Most of the Death Eaters are gone, incapacitated, or not willing to fight. But, I keep thinking that we’re still in danger.  I helped Harry kill Voldemort.  Renegade Death Eaters could start coming after us.  Even if all Death Eaters stopped being a problem, other psychotic, racist, dark wizards are still out there.  I’m going to find them because I need to make sure that they’re ok.  But, if they’re happy, I don’t know if I’m going to reverse the charm,” she said tearfully.  Harry was flabbergasted.  He didn’t know if he wanted to scream at her for being an idiot or hug her for being her wonderful, unselfish self.

“Hermione, don’t think like that,” Percy said quietly.  “Don’t let fear push you away from your family.  It hurts more than you can possibly imagine.  When you find them, reverse the spell.  They might not be unhappy, but they’ll never feel complete without you.  Don’t throw away your family, Hermione.”

“I don’t want to discard them.  I just want them safe and happy.  I’m a witch who likes to go around fighting for things.  This is my world.  My non-magical parents don’t belong in it.  They aren’t built for this type of battle.  They tried to keep up with it for six years, and they were no better off for it. Where do my parents fit,” she argued back. 

“Hermione, I think you need a better strategy,” Harry felt it was time to throw his two cents in.

“Strategy, Harry,” she inquired.

“Strategy,” he repeated firmly, “I think you’re approaching this the wrong way.  Your current plan is to leave your parents alone if you find them and they’re happy, right?” Hermione nodded.

“Well, maybe it should be their choice.  It’s not like you can’t re-obliviate them.  You need to sit and have a talk with them about this.  Let them decide if they still want to be in your life.  Offer to re-obliviate them if the answer is “no.” Of course, I don’t think that’ll be the case.  They’re probably going to hug you silly then scream at you for what you did.  Your parents love you, Hermione.  If it were my parents I think I’d like to give them a choice,” he said the last part a little slyly.  He knew he was manipulating her a bit, but she needed a shove in the right direction.  Hermione seemed to be considering his argument.

“Harry’s right, Hermione.  The very least you could do is give them a choice,” Percy vocalized his concurrence.  “Harry, are you sure you don’t mind looking after Ron for a while?”

“I’ve got it, Perce.  How much trouble can we get in,” Harry shrugged.  Ron had been staring blankly at them during this conversation.  Harry noticed that he had started to fiddle with the pockets of his dress robes. 

“I guess you’re right.  I really should go join the rest of my family.  I just wanted to make sure you three were ok.  Hermione, I’ll talk to you later.  Keep thinking about it.”

As he left, Ron seemed to have found whatever he was searching for in his robes.  He tapped Hermione on the shoulder and handed her a candy that he found somewhere in his robes.  Harry met her eyes and they exchanged a significant look.  They were both picturing the time they met Neville’s parents in fifth year.  Ron looked at Hermione expectantly.

“Thank you, Ron.  I feel much better.  I’ll put this in my pocket for later,” Hermione said as she placed the candy in her blazer pocket.  Ron grinned at her then returned to his now usual blank expression. Harry made a mental note to get to Gringotts on Monday.  He needed to see what he could do for Ron.  Every time he saw his best friend since the battle it was reinforced that he would need constant supervision.  He felt the weight of the world on his shoulders again. 

“Would you mind if I joined you,” Remus asked.  Harry hadn’t noticed that he had made his way over to them. 

“Please sit down Professor Lupin,” Hermione said shifting one chair over. 

“Hermione, call me Remus.  Really, I haven’t been anyone’s professor in almost five years,” he said as he sat down next to Harry. 

“Sorry, Remus, old habits and all,” Hermione replied.

“So, I hear you’re headed to Australia next week.  I think I might have a few books to help you out, if you want them,” Remus offered.

“That’d be nice, Remus.  I’m not going in totally blind, but I’d like any extra information you have,” Hermione gratefully accepted.  This launched them both into a conversation about magical Australia.  Apparently, Remus had spent some time there after the first war and had some books that he had found useful. 

As Remus and Hermione prattled on, the tent became rather crowded.  Harry was momentarily impressed by the number of people in attendance.  Like at Tonks’ memorial, Harry recognized many of those in attendance.  He would try to entertain Ron by announcing everyone.  Most people didn’t linger.  They came; said their condolences; stayed for a small amount of time; and then left. However, some lingered.  Most members of the Order, teachers, students, and Diagon Alley shop keepers stuck around waiting for the burial.  Harry tried to keep Ron entertained by telling him about the visitors.  Several people stopped by and spoke with them.  Neville and Luna stopped by to chat then found a place of their own near Ginny.  They had always been friendly, but fighting against the Carrow’s last year had made them inseparable. Angelina Johnson, Alicia Spinnet, Katie Bell, and Oliver Wood said their “hellos” as well.  Then there were the Order members.  Mundungus Fletcher was positively inconsolable.  Kingsley Shacklebolt’s normally fierce face was tearstained as he took a seat near the front of the tent.  Professor McGonagall took a seat near Remus.  She looked horrible.  Though she’d never admit it aloud, she had a special place in her heart for Fred and George.  Fred’s death appeared to have hit her hard.  When he looked around the crowd that was gathered at the Burrow, Harry felt a fierce sense of pride and vast grief. 

Fred touched every single one of these lives and hearts.  It was like Fred’s goodness was a drop in calm water.  It disrupted the surface.  Those closest to him, like his family, felt it most intensely.  As the waves of disruption spun outwards, it became a gentle caress.  Those furthest away, like customers of his shop, barely felt the movement; but they were still changed by it.  In his own way, Fred and George had combated Voldemort’s darkness more effectively and efficiently than Harry ever could.  Fred had helped create joy and laughter for everyone here.  He had been able to share the bright light he’d been born with.  For this, Harry felt proud of Fred.  But, as with everything else, the feeling was bittersweet by the taint of overwhelming grief.  Fred’s goodness was gone from the world.  Every person here would feel that loss. The guilt and loss fell on him then.  For the first time since Remus woke up, he wondered why the hell he’d chosen life.  It would have been so much easier if he had just stayed dead.  He was pulled from his melancholy thought process by a light tapping gesture on his shoulder.

He turned his head toward the sensation.  He was surprised to see that it was Ron tapping his shoulder as if trying to comfort him.  The blank expression was still sort of there, though.  It was as if he could understand when others were hurting, but not why they were in pain.  Harry sighed as he reached up to take Ron’s hand.

“Thanks, mate,” he said patting Ron’s hand.  “I need someone to pull me out of my own stupid thought sometimes.  I wish we could actually talk to each other again.  I could use your brain on things.  I need a new plan for my life now.  You’re the plan guy.  Hermione is brilliant when you want a fact or a spell, but you’re best at big ideas.”

Ron gave no indication that he understood what Harry was saying.  So, Harry just sat there holding his best friend’s hand; refusing to let his emotions run wild.  He tried to concentrate on just enjoying the fact that Ron still had something in his mind.  Harry felt several concerned gazes on him, but he ignored them.  Instead, he grinned at Ron and continued to talk with him as if he expected Ron to start answering back.

The hours slipped gently by.  Percy came by and collected Ron.  It was the symbol that the actual burial was going to start shortly.  Harry felt his emotions broil to the surface again.  This time his magic started to react with him.  He tried to control it, but there was a faint crackling noise surrounding him.  The noise burned in Harry’s ears, but must have been relatively soft.  No one else seemed to notice the noise, with one exception: Remus. 

“Harry, calm down,” he commanded gently in Harry’s ear.  “Take a few deep breaths.  Follow my lead, ok?”

Remus grabbed his hand and took a deep breath in; held it for a few seconds; and then let it out slowly.  He repeated this type of breathing twice.  On the third breath Harry joined him taking a deep breath in; holding on to it; then letting it out slowly.  By his third iteration of the process, the crackling sound died out and Harry’s magic settled. 

“Thanks, Moony,” Harry muttered under his breath.

“It’s alright, Harry.  Keep ahold of me if it helps,” he offered.  Harry just nodded in agreement.  Mr. Weasely was calling for everyone’s attention.

“Can I have everyone’s attention for a moment,” Mr. Weasely shouted several times before the tent quieted.  “Alright, it’s almost sun set.  We’re going to move Fred out to the orchard soon.  His twin brother, George, will give his eulogy,” he stumbled over the word “eulogy” but continued with a mostly calm tone, “All are welcome to stay for refreshments after.  Before we go, I’d like to extend my gratitude to all of you.  This has been a very difficult time for me and Molly and our children.  Your support has been greatly appreciated.  I know that many of you have had many funerals over the past few days.  We appreciate that you made time to say goodbye to our Fr… Fre… Fred.”  Mr. Weasely finished as his emotions caught up with him.

“Harry are you ok to,” Remus started to ask about his pall bearing duty.

“I can do it.  My magic is all under control for now.  I’ll keep it that way until the end,” Harry interrupted.  He then proceeded to the front of the tent.

It took a few moments to arrange everything.  The pall bearers had to be positioned. Lee Jordan had readily agreed to the task and stood next to Harry.  Harry wondered what the point was of having six. They were going to use magic to lift the coffin.  It could be easily done by one wizard alone.  It must have been some sort of tradition.  On Mr. Weasely’s “go ahead” they all cast a levitating charm and started to walk toward the grave.   It was charmed to float at ground level so that George could give his eulogy. 

Harry made his way over to Remus and grabbed onto his hand again.  If Remus found his behavior odd he didn’t give any indication.  He took a deep breath and prepared for the final throwing of salt in all his open wounds for the day.  George cast a spell on his voice to make sure everyone heard.  He kept his remarks short and sweet.  He only broke down twice, which all things considered was rather impressive.  Harry kept his hand clenched tightly in Remus’ the whole time.  There were many people with tears in their eyes.  When George had finished, Mr. Weasely and Bill cast the charms that slowly lowered Fred into the ground.  As it was being lowered, George cast a spell on the ground.  Everyone, including his family, looked at him like he had gone crazy. 

“I thought this would be the best way to send my brother off.  He would have hated all the crying and would have demanded a celebration.  I hope that he’d approve of what I’ve planned,” he told the curious crowd. 

He hadn’t actually cast a spell on the ground.  He had lit fuses so that some of the fireworks he and Fred had created were set off.  There were large ones going off in the sky, smaller ones that showered the area with sparkles, and some that made funky little noises as they whizzed through the sky.  Mrs. Weasely was the first one to crack.  She had cried during the whole burial, but was the first person to crack a smile now.  She even giggled a bit.  It was like her reaction broke the ice.  Suddenly, the whole funeral was laughing, whooping, and shouting things like “To Fred!”  Harry felt Remus pull away his hand only to snake his arm around Harry’s waist and pull him in.  At that point, Harry was altering between laughing and crying.  So, he just leaned a bit into the embrace. The firework display lasted a solid fifteen minutes.  By the end of it, George had charmed an everlasting firework as Fred’s grave marker. Most people had tears in their eyes, but now many were smiling too.  Fred was officially laid to rest.  Harry felt like it was time to leave. 

“Remus, I’m going to say goodbye to the Weasely’s.  I don’t feel up to sticking around for food.”

“Alright, Harry.  I need to do something before we pop back to Andy’s, but I don’t think I’m up to staying for food either.  I’ll meet you at Andy’s,” he responded.

......

It took Harry a solid twenty minutes to say goodbye to the Weasely’s.  He promised to see them all soon.  Then, he apparated back to Andy’s house.  He was surprised to find the house deserted.  He looked around and saw a piece of parchment on the kitchen table informing him that Andy had taken Teddy to the Malfoy’s home for supper. 

He sat in silence and stared into the dark.  He didn’t bother to find any way of giving himself light.  He just breathed deeply like he had with Remus earlier. He sat there in the dark for an eternity before the pop of Remus’ return startled him.

“Harry, where are Teddy and Andy,” Remus asked as he placed some bags down on the ground.  Harry could smell that one of them clearly contained take away. 

“They went to the Malfoy’s for dinner,” Harry replied as he handed Remus the note. 

“Andy said that might happen.  I told her not to worry about us for dinner. May I ask you something else?”

“You may ask whatever you like, Moons.  That doesn’t necessarily mean I will answer.”

“Okay, smart ass, why on earth are you just sitting here in the dark,” he asked as he spelled the lights on and a fire into the grate.

“I… er… I don’t know, Moony,” Harry said quietly.  “So, what’s for dinner?”

“I got red curry for dinner, some chocolate for dessert, and a special Chocolate flavored Firewhiskey I’ve been saving for lip loosening.  I believe you owe me a talk.  I don’t think it should be put off any longer.  You need to talk about it.  If giving you a good dose of Dreamless Sleep and sending you off on your merry way would help I’d do it, but I think it would just hurt more in the long run.”

“Ah… Right… Well, thank you for the food.  I think you might be right.  No more putting off our chat,” Harry said.  He didn’t want to do it, but Harry had run away from this discussion for a week now.  He should have talked about it straight off, like in fourth year after Voldemort returned. With Harry’s agreement, Remus passed him a container of curry, a plastic fork, and a paper napkin.  Like with Hermione the night before, Remus and Harry danced around pain inducing topics.  Dessert was served with the first few fingers of whiskey.  The whiskey tasted like chocolate and cinnamon mixed.  It had Firewhiskey’s burn, but was sweeter than the normal.  Their discussion turned then.  Harry surprised himself by being the first to bring the topic up.

“How are you doing it, Moony?  You seem so… stable.  You’re sad, but on your feet.  You have perspective.  I haven’t felt this bad since you were still in the hospital.  I just want to shrink into a ball and waste away.  How did you do it when Siri… How are you doing it now?  How do you handle it when your lover dies?  Doesn’t the future look bleak,” Harry asked several sips into his whiskey. 

“How did you know about me and Siri,” Remus asked astonished by asking about both of his former lovers.

“I didn’t know as in: some action of yours caused your relationship to become known to me.  Although, looking back on some of it, it should have been obvious.  Siri told me when he caught Fred and I snogging in Grimmauld Place my fifth year.  It was right after Mr. Weasely was attacked.  I was so upset.  Being gay in the muggle world is not the same.  My uncle would probably have tried to beat the gay out of me.  Siri told me about you two to calm me down.  He said something about not getting to choose your soulmate, and I shouldn’t be ashamed of any part of who I am.  Are you mad that I know?”

“No, I was just surprised.  Was Fred your soulmate,” Remus asked concerned.

“I don’t know.  Who does?  I mean isn’t that what…”Harry was cut off before he could finish.

“No, I mean was he your magical soulmate?  If he was you’d have known.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Moony,” Harry said annoyed. 

“Harry, listen to me.  There are three types of magic that are so powerful that they affect everyone, muggles and wizards alike.  They are powerful types of magic.  The first is wish magic.  Everyone is capable of wish magic.  Large wish magic, like wanting an elephant to appear in the middle of a room, can only be accomplished by powerful wizards and witches.  Small wish magic is accomplished by everyone.  Muggles often call this power of suggestion.  The second is divination.  Most psychics in the magical and muggle world are fakes.  However, there are some psychics that possess no other magic.  Muggles write it off as instinct or the subconscious.  The third, most prevalent, and trickiest is soulmate magic.  We have no idea what causes it; why it chooses the mates it does; or the signs of soulmates.  The only known things about it are: magic draws two people together that it deems perfect for each other; people can only have one at a time; you may have more than one throughout your lifetime if one dies; and once magic recognizes you’re soulmates, you’ll have some sort of tell.”

“Some sort of tell,” Harry asked now more curious than annoyed. 

“A tell, like sweaty palms every time you think of or are near that person.  Mine was itchy elbows until we got together.  Acceptance of your soulmate is the only thing that will alleviate the symptoms.   Siri said he felt thirsty around me.  So, was Fred your soulmate?”

Suddenly, many of his arguments with Fred made a lot of sense.  He wondered why Fred never explained any of this to him. He teared up as he answered Remus’ question.

“I… I… I don’t think we were.  He always said that we weren’t a perfect fit.  He wouldn’t even let me say ‘I love you’ to him,” Harry choked out. 

“If it makes you feel any better, Dora wasn’t my next soulmate.  Most couples aren’t soulmates, which makes sense.  Proximity and soulmates are correlated, but theoretically it could be anyone in the world.  Besides, being soulmates doesn’t cure all relationship ills,” Remus said a bit bitterly.  “I don’t know if I can actually help you that much.  I know you think I’m handling things well.  It’d be a first if that was true.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, the first time I lost everyone I disappeared.  Your parents died.  I thought Peter was dead.  I thought my soulmate had been responsible for all three.  Then Sirius went to Azkaban.  I left.  I shut myself down for twelve years and didn’t come out of it until I started teaching.  When Siri fell through the veil, I got married on the rebound.  Don’t get me wrong.  I loved my wife, but if my coping skills were better it probably wouldn’t have happened.  I may be bi-sexual, but I’ve always preferred men.  I lose my soulmate and end up marred to a woman with a child on the way.  I can’t bring myself to regret it, but I hardly think it’s a good example of coping with loss. Wonder what I’ll do this time,” Remus tried to joke, but the bitter edge to his voice was still present.  Harry chuckled a bit though.

“I suppose we could get drunk and then get tattoos.  Or, you could get an ear pierced,” Harry offered.

“No thanks.  I don’t need my body to scream desperation and mid-life crisis!”

“Moony, you’re a wizard.  Mid-life doesn’t happen until you turn sixty.  Plus, it’d be healthier than running away and easier than finding another rebound woman,” Harry argued.

“Very funny… I thought we were going to talk about you,” Remus rebuked.  They had gotten a bit off topic.  Harry made a face.  He didn’t want to go back into the dark that had pervaded his mind all day, but Remus made a face that wasn’t going to take “no” for an answer.  So, Harry drew in a deep breath; took a swig of whiskey; poured himself another few fingers; and talked to Remus.

He started with the passing of the Marauder’s Map.  It was the first time he ever thought he might be interested in Fred romantically.  He told him about where his winnings for the Tri-Wizard Tournament went; how Fred had comforted him in the hospital wing.  He told him about how he and Fred would sneak off every chance to snog Christmas of his fifth year.  He talked about how Fred would sneak over to the Dursley’s to comfort him after Sirius died.  He talked about the letters they exchanged sixth year.  How those letters kept him sane and hopeful.  He kept the more intimate details to himself, but he gave Remus the whole story.  He even talked about the hallucination he had while dead.  He recounted Sirius and Fred urging him back to life.  He talked about still feeling guilty.  He talked about his dreams that turned to nightmares.  Remus listened intently.  He would break in and ask a question here and there, but mostly he listened to Harry. Harry found the whole practice oddly cathartic.  By the end, Harry was exhausted; but there was one last thing Harry wanted to discuss.

“So, that’s pretty much everything.  May I ask you something, Moony?”

“Well, you may ask whatever you like.  However, that doesn’t mean I’ll answer,” was Remus’ snarky reply.

“Ha, ha, very funny…And you call me a smart ass… I was wondering, though, what was it like having a soulmate?  What was it like being with Sirius?”

Remus looked at his glass of whiskey.  He sighed then downed the remainder of his glass in one gulp.  Harry saw several emotions pass behind his eyes too quickly to catch, and wondered if he had asked something too personal.  However, Remus took a deep breath and answered him.

“I said before that being soulmates didn’t equal a perfect relationship, right?”  Harry nodded. 

“Being with Sirius was like being addicted to muggle narcotics or potions.  One hit of Sirius could lift me higher than the stratosphere, and cause me to come slamming back to earth; shattering me into a million pieces only to have him rebuild me to repeat the whole process.  Losing him caused massive withdrawal symptoms, but freed me from the cycle.  I don’t want to get too much into it right now, but I wonder if Siri and I would’ve been soulmates if we’d met each other later in life.  I don’t know how much you should know.  You know him in one light.  I don’t want to cast a shadow on it, especially, not tonight.  I’m physically and emotionally exhausted.”

“I understand.  I guess.  I think I’m going to turn in too,” Harry said through a yawn.  It was just passed midnight, and the day had been long.

“Tomorrow, I think maybe you should think about talking to a healer.  I don’t want you handling things as badly as I did the first time around,” Remus said through a yawn of his own.  

“Yeah, I’ll start searching for someone in the morning.  Goodnight, Moony,” Harry said. 

“Goodnight, Harry.”

Harry stood and debated for a moment before putting his arms around Remus for a hug.  Remus returned it and they just stood there a moment.  Like two nights ago, they just held onto each other for a few minutes.  They broke apart and said their “good nights” again. 


	4. The Wolf Gets an Eyeful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the first chapter that has explicit content! You have been warned!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the update has taken so long. IRL I'm studying for a very large test. 
> 
> If anyone wants, feel free to follow my @alwaysradpirate on tumblr

Harry had remained true to his word.  He contacted a healer the morning after Fred’s funeral.  He was pleasantly surprised to find that Madam Pomfrey was qualified to help him.  He saw her about twice a week since the beginning of June.  It was helpful to him.  By the end of August, he had been able to let go of a lot of the guilt he had experienced initially.  It was still there, and would occasionally rear its ugly head.  However, with the tools he was learning from his sessions, he was able to handle it better.  He still missed Fred as well, but that too was changing.  He was increasingly able to think about things without the overwhelming sense of dread and guilt that had plagued him earlier in the summer. His physical health improved as well.  Madam Pomfrey had him on heavy duty nutrient potions most of the summer to help get him back up to weight.  Apparently, his diet had suffered from the horocrux hunt.  Her cause was aided and abetted by Mrs. Weasely and Andromeda Tonks.  Most Sundays, he was at the Burrow for dinner.  While there, Mrs. Weasely would force feed him second and third helpings of everything.  Andy had him on a super regimented diet during the week.  Everything Andy forced him to eat was super packed with vitamins and nutrients.  He was finally putting on weight, and he thought he looked rather healthy.  With the improvements to his physical and mental wellbeing, he was feeling better by the end of August. 

He had also kept the promise he’d made to himself concerning Ron.  He had gone to Gringotts the week after the funeral.  He had to go there anyway to handle the estates he’d inherited.  Harry knew that the Potter and Black estates were large, but he’d been a bit surprised to find out the extent of his own wealth.  The amount of wealth and political power he inherited was staggering.  He was easily one of the wealthiest wizards in England.  Only the Malfoy, Longbottom, and Abbot families could even compete monetarily.  Even after he paid the bank for the damage he’d done getting Hufflepuff’s cup from the Lestrange vault, his finances barely took a hit.  So, he decided to put some of that money to good use.  First, he set aside a trust fund for Ron’s medical expenses. When Mr. and Mrs. Weasely found out about it, they tried to argue that they didn’t need the money.  Harry won them over by simply saying that it was what family did for each other.  Next, Harry also established a trust for Teddy.  He hadn’t told Remus about it.  He was positive that Remus would be pissed when he found out, but Harry couldn’t bring himself to care.  Teddy was his godson.  Harry wanted him taken care of, and this would take care of him through Hogwarts at least.  Lastly, he earmarked some of his money for charitable purposes.  There were several charities that both the Black and Potter accounts donated to already, but Harry wanted to set aside some money to start or choose his own.  Furthermore, several of the Black charities were stuck in the elitist pureblood mindset, and Harry decided to quit donations to them.  The rest of the financial management he left up to the current estate manager, a fierce looking goblin called Crubnub. 

His political power was also somewhat staggering.  He controlled a decent chunk of Wizengamot votes.  He could actually be influential in passing some legislation.  In truth, he was a little lost with the responsibility of it all.  Thankfully, he had a new friend or two to help him out with learning how to handle all of it.   After testifying on their behalves, the Malfoy family escaped most punishment.  As he had anticipated, Harry’s testimony allowed for Draco and Narcissa to evade punishment completely.  Mr. Malfoy was put on some sort of probation for eighteen months, but was not required to serve any prison time.  Mrs. Malfoy seemed hell bent on spending her freedom rebuilding her relationship with Andy.  She and Draco were often at Andy’s home.  With Ron’s absent mind and Hermione in Australia, Harry was happy to have some company.  Plus, without his arrogant attitude Draco was actually quite easy to get along with.  He had a snarky sense of humor; a strategic mind that would've rivaled Ron's; and a vast wealth of knowledge on different wizarding things.  So, Harry’s tentative friendship with Draco became solid enough that when Harry had questions about handling estates or political power; he went to Draco for answers.  Where Draco was out of his depth, Andy, Narcissa, and Mr. Malfoy (though rarely) would step in with sound advice. 

Grimmauld was still under construction, but was almost complete.  By the tenth of September, Harry would be able to move back in.  Harry approached the date with trepidation.  He had become accustomed to living with people who actually enjoyed having him.  He felt a sense of overwhelming loneliness at the thought of being surrounded by empty rooms in Grimmauld Place.  He’d miss seeing Teddy every day.  He’d miss Teddy’s baby giggles, so rich and contagious.  He’d miss hearing his godson’s squeaks and babbles.  He’d miss Teddy making grabs for his glasses and his attempts at eating them.  He’d miss the way Teddy would snuggle tightly in the crook of his neck when he slept.  Harry wasn’t looking forward to leaving it behind.  He knew that he’d still see his godson, but it wouldn’t be the same as being there every day.  He was equally reluctant to leave Remus.

Harry had no idea how he would have made it through the summer without Remus.  Remus had been there for him every step of the way for the last four months.  Remus was easy to talk to; he had a great sense of humor; he had a quick, brilliant, mind; and he seemed have some intuitive ability to understand what Harry needed.  Harry wondered what his friendship brought the werewolf.  He often felt like he was relying too much on Moony without giving him anything in return.  Harry didn’t count the days he took care of Teddy when Remus was undergoing what they jokingly called his “monthlies.”  Harry was going to miss having him around.  Their after dinner chats had become routine after the first on the day of Fred’s funeral.  It was a time of the day Harry looked forward to.  They’d put Teddy down to play on the carpet to play before his bed time and sit around discussing whatever struck their fancy.  Usually, they just seemed to give each other a rundown of their day.  Sometimes, they’d discuss current events. 

Laws concerning werewolves were high on the discussion list.  With thirty new werewolves, creature law couldn’t continue being ignored.  Remus had taken it upon himself to mentor all the new wolves. Every Monday, he would hold a werewolf meeting to help the new wolves.  They also talked a lot about the upcoming academic year.  Harry had officially decided not to return to Hogwarts.  NEWTS could be taken at any time.  Usually, they were taken at the end of a Hogwarts student’s seventh year, but that was usually just for convenience.  So, Harry took the NEWTS he was ready for this summer (defense and charms) and would tutor at home for the rest (potions and transfiguration).  Remus had agreed to be Harry’s tutor for the year.  Since NEWT tests were administered and graded by the ministry, there was no concern Remus would be unfair.  Harry would often ask about Sirius.  Their discussion after Fred’s funeral had piqued his curiosity and Remus’ reluctance to divulge was driving him crazy.  However, he understood how painful talking about those sorts of things could be and tried not to pry too much.  Remus was prone to being a bit broody after talking about some things.  Harry would even miss the brooding.  He tried to console himself with the thought that as his teacher for the year he’d see Remus often enough. Yet, it was cold comfort.

As his move in date in September neared, Harry found himself conflicted.  Grimmauld Place would become his house, but he wasn’t sure if had ever felt less like home.  September used to be a month he looked forward to.  September brought positive change in his life.  September had been about returning to Hogwarts to escape the Dursley’s.  This year the only thing changing in September would be his address, and he wasn’t sure he liked it.

Adding to his feelings of impending isolation, Harry hadn’t seen Hermione since she had dinner at Andy’s place before she left for Australia.  They had kept in touch with the occasional owl and international floo call, but by and large communication had been limited.  It had taken a solid two and a half weeks or so, but she had successfully found her parents.  The suggestion she had planted in their minds had worked; she found them just outside of Sydney’s city limits.  Mr. and Mrs. Granger had opened a small, but successful, practice.  When Hermione had restored their memories, they were in fact very happy to have their daughter back in their lives.  Hermione had discussed the concerns she had about her parents place in the wizarding world.  They understood their options, but refused to allow her to obliviate them again.  They were unwilling to forget their daughter.  However, to give Hermione some peace of mind they decided to stay in Australia.  Hermione spent the rest of the summer with them there.  Her parents got her in touch with a healer.  Harry was happy for her.  If anyone deserved a vacation, it was Hermione.  She’d just had the year from hell too.  She came back a few days ago and had been staying at her parents’ London home.  On the thirty-first of August, Harry was meeting her in Diagon Alley to shop for their school supplies for the year.    

Harry was a bit nervous about the outing.  If he’d been a press magnet before, he was a positive beacon for the flesh eating virus that was the paparazzi.  Going from the Boy-Who-Lived to the Man-Who-Conquered had brought him into the spotlight once more, and he hated it.  Fictitious news articles about what he was doing popped up almost daily.  One of the more entertaining ones had come out around the time of the Malfoy’s trials.  It had claimed that Harry was involved in a salacious affair with Draco and was too blinded by romance to testify against Draco.  Harry and Draco both had a laugh over the article.  Harry may have been gay and Draco some level of bi-sexual; but neither was the other’s type and the article struck them as ludicrous to the point of hilarity.  Even if not for the ridiculous press, everyone in the wizarding world seemed to know him.  Harry tried to focus on how this could be a good thing if he really started to play the political game, but mostly he just missed any amount of anonymity he had.  The few times he’d gone into Diagon Alley over the summer, he’d practically been mobbed. So, he’d taken to disguising himself if he needed to go out.

He usually stuck to glamours for his disguise.  Polyjuice was took an entire month to finish and was difficult to brew.  His invisibility cloak wasn’t practical.  However, glamours were difficult to use for an extended period of time for most wizards and witches.  Metamorphmagi were the exception to the rule.  Their natural abilities helped them change easier and keep the change without difficulty.  Not being a metamorphmagus, Harry had to carefully plan his glamours like most wizards.  Over the summer he’d almost perfected holding the charm.  If he could keep a cool head he could go a solid three to four hours before his glamour failed.  So, he usually did his best to wait as long as possible before putting the glamour up.  Keeping this in mind, Harry planned to meet Hermione at Fred’s shop where he’d apply his glamour.  They were going to meet up at noon to have lunch at the Leaky before they did their shopping.

……

Harry woke the morning of the thirty-first when his wand went off.  He groaned upon waking.  He was excited to see Hermione today, but he’d been having one hell of a dream.  In his dream, there was a tall, thin, wiry man that seemed to know every point on his body to make his pulse race.  Harry had been dreaming of him for the better part of the last three weeks.  The man usually started as Fred then morphed into whoever he was.  Harry never saw his face, but somehow the man felt familiar.  There was a scent and a feeling of rightness that Harry knew he’d experienced in his waking hours.  Yet, his conscious mind refused to make the necessary connections for identification.  The dreams were all slightly different, but had a few things in common.  They always took place in a teacher’s office at Hogwarts.  The man always left a mark on his body either on his neck or inner thigh.  Harry was always the bottom which wasn’t a surprise considering his own preference, but was a bit unusual that dream guy seemed to be just as preferential to topping.  Lastly, he always woke up from these dreams hard as a rock.  It was actually quite embarrassing. He’d had these sorts of dreams before, but they’d never persisted like this one.  Of course, he’d been a bit preoccupied the past two years.  Maybe his body was making up for lost time. 

To make matters worse, he knew that Remus was aware of what was happening.  He knew that it’d started around the last full moon, so, Remus could probably smell his arousal a kilometer away.  That made him more uncomfortable than anything else.  There was no way he could hide what was going on.  Thankfully, Remus never brought it up.  However, he was pretty sure that he saw Remus make a face or two when he entered the room after one of these dreams.  It was awkward to know that Remus knew something like this without being told.  For all the things that he could easily talk about with the werewolf, sex was generally a topic they danced around. 

He glanced down and sure enough his night shorts were tented.  He knew that he could will it away, but he hadn’t been touched sexually in about a year.  First, he left Fred for the horocrux hunt.  Then, he hadn’t felt too randy on the hunt itself.  After the battle, it was not something he felt interested in.  It was embarrassing when his libido was brought up in one of his sessions with Pomfrey.  She said what he was feeling was normal and when he was ready he should get back on the proverbial horse.  He wondered if today was a good day to get back on the horse.  So, he cast a quick tempus to check the time.  It was still early.  Teddy probably wasn’t even up yet, and the kid had no idea how wonderful a lie in could be.  Deciding he had enough time before he had to start the day, he cast a quick silencing spell; summoned his favorite toy; and decided to do a more thorough job of ridding himself of his problem.  He pushed the bedding down with his feet and removed his shorts.  He never wore pants to bed, so, his cock sprang free instantly.  He tossed his sleeping shorts somewhere in the room, not caring where they landed.  He did the same for his shirt.  The cool morning air licked at his naked flesh pebbling his nipples.  He took a deep breath and began to touch himself.

He started at his neck, running his fingers lightly from behind his ears down to his clavicle and back several times before pushing towards his chest.  When his hands reached his chest he ran his hands across his hardened nipples.  He started with a gentle massage to his pecs, enjoying the way his nipples felt under his palms.  It progressed to him working them both with his fingers, pinching, lightly twisting, and pulling.  After a minute or so, his right hand abandoned his chest and traced down his sternum and along his treasure trail to his weeping cock.  He wandlessly and silently summoned lube into his hand and began to stroke himself.  He let out an involuntary moan.  It didn’t take long before he was writhing on the bed; left hand on his left working his left nipple; and his right hand bringing him closer and closer to the edge.  Visions of mystery man popped into his head as he pleasured himself.  He brought himself as close to the edge as he could before falling over it then he stopped.

He dropped his right hand past his balls to his entrance.  He cast a spell to clean, lubricate, and stretch himself.  With a partner, he preferred manual preparation.  But, when he was alone, spells were easier and quicker.  He conjured more lube into his hand and slicked his dildo then placed it at his entrance.  The best thing about this toy was it was charmed to take it from there.  The toy was able to hit every place inside him with mind blowing accuracy.  Harry laid back and let the toy do its magic.  The toy nudged into him slowly until the only part of the toy not in him was the handle.  The toy paused, giving him time to adjust to the size.  Harry’s hands moved back to his chest, and he tugged at his nipples.  The toy began to move and Harry moved his right hand back to his cock.  The dildo was moving in and out of him, hitting his prostate on every other thrust.  Harry was panting and moaning harshly while furiously stroking his cock.  Images of dream man atop him thrusting in and out of him as he sucked at his neck held firmly in his mind.   He was lost to the world then.  Nothing mattered beyond his pleasure and the release he was rapidly approaching.  The toy hit his prostate and he was gone.  He felt his muscles contract around the toy as his cock started to spurt his release.  He was so lost he didn’t hear his door open.

“Harry, are you alright?  I’ve been knocking for…” whatever Remus had been knocking for Harry never found out.  Remus had walked in and saw him naked and releasing the last of his cum.  They stared at each other in stunned silence for a beat before the situation sunk in.

“Shit, shit, shit, Harry… Oh Merlin… I’m so sorry!  I’m just going to…” a very red faced werewolf said before turning quickly and exiting the room. 

Harry was left still naked, dildo in his ass, covered in his own cum, and embarrassed beyond belief.  When Harry replayed the whole thing in his head, he was forcibly reminded of the cartoons he’d caught glimpses of while cleaning at the Dursley’s.  The ones where the main character would eat something spicy; turn all kinds of red; and then their faces would explode.  Harry briefly worried that he might exit the room to find little bits of Remus’ head scattered all over Andy’s hallway.  He entertained the idea of getting dressed and apparating straight to George’s.  It would have been a cowardly move, but putting off the embarrassing confrontation he’s going to have with Remus in a few minutes is tempting.  He cast another tempus and figured it was still too early for him to pop over to George’s.  He let out a resigned sigh when he realized escape wasn’t an option. 

Some part of his brain registered that he needed to clean himself off.  He muttered a cleansing charm and his cum vanished from his skin and the sheets are refreshed.  Then he carefully removed his toy and cleaned it before banishing back to the secret compartment he’d installed in his trunk.  He summoned his sleeping clothes with a quick accio and redressed himself.  He figured it was time for an honest to goodness shower before he heads downstairs for breakfast.

……

Breakfast was every bit as awkward as Harry expected it to be.  He and Remus could barely stand to look at each other.  Teddy seemed to sense something was amiss and was rather fussy throughout the meal.  Andy seemed to be ignoring whatever was going on between the two of them.  Harry decided that maybe escape was a valid choice, after all.  He sent off a patronus to George informing him he’d be arriving closer to ten than noon.  As soon as the breakfast mess was cleaned, Harry made a quick escape and flooed over to the Weasely Wizard Wheezes.  He came out in George’s living room with his usual post floo balance.

“Hello, Harry.  How are you?  I hope you’ve been well,” a redhead in horned rimmed glasses asked.  Harry was too busy trying to get his inner ear to function to reply immediately.  He was a bit surprised that Percy was there, but that was stupid of him.  Percy had decided to quit his position at the Ministry and help George with the shop.  Harry had known this since mid-June, but it didn’t really sink in until now. 

“I’m alright, Perce.  It’s just been a rough morning,” Harry replied.  He looked around the apartment that he used to sneak to whenever he could.  It was strange seeing it without Fred.  Harry didn’t have much time to reminisce.  George burst into the room projecting the same level of flamboyance that his work suit suggested. 

“Ah… little brother… I’m so glad you’re in one clumsy piece.  I see the floo has worked its magic on you once again.  I was worried when I got your patronus. So, what happened that has you running away from the domestic paradise you’ve built with your godson and our old professor,” George asked a mixture of concerned and amused. 

“It was… er… you know… just needed to get out a bit,” Harry said knowing his face was betraying him the whole time.

“Now, now, little brother, what happened that has you turning the color of a ripe tomato,” George asked grinning like a Cheshire cat. 

“Nothing,” he rushed in reply.

“Methinks that the pint sized Chosen-One protests too much, eh brother,” a still grinning George directs at Percy.  Percy just looked uncomfortable and willing to leave the whole thing alone.  George clearly had no intention of letting him off the hook.

“Come now, Harry-kins.  Don’t make me dose you with an experimental truth potion.  You know how product development works.  It’s always a gamble with our experimental Weasely Wizard Wheezes products.  Then again, we could probably do with a willing test subject.  Are you planning anything where breaking out in an itchy rash would impede your afternoon,” he threatened gleefully.

“Is your experimental potion even legal?  Veritaserum is highly regulated for a reason.  This won’t create problems right,” Harry asked in a poor attempt to divert George’s questioning.

“Relax, Harry, Ole Stuff Shirt over there doesn’t let me step out of line too far,” George said point at Percy.  “It’s like a very mild version of Veritaserum.  It has a very short time period and we’re packaging as a part of that muggle game Hermione mentioned… Lies and Dares or whatever it was called… We’re also making a courage boosting potion to go with it, but that’s easier going.  However, none of this has nothing to do with why you’re blushing so much,” George answered, not taking Harry’s lame bait. Harry scowled at him.  “Come on little savior.  You know it’ll come out sooner or later, so, spill.”

“Ugh… Fine… but if you as much as smirk; then I will curse you to kingdom come.  Understood?” Harry relented.  Unfortunately, George seemed to have inherited mother's talent for detecting and uncovering secrets.  Then again, Harry was self aware enough to know that him blushing earlier wasn't really a good cover.

“Well… I woke up early this morning.  No one else should have been awake.  I had a really… er… _nice_ dream, and it was still _nice_ when I woke up.  So, instead of waiting for it to stop being _nice_ , I decided to take care of things in a… er… private moment.  Apparently, I either put up a two way silencing spell without thinking, or I was very… er… distracted because I didn’t hear Remus knocking on my door,” Harry took a pause hoping he wouldn’t have to go on.  Percy had schooled his features into a blank mask, but was turning purple with the effort of not laughing.  George had an all too innocent look to his face,

“Go on, Harry-kins,”George encouraged a bit too sweetly.

“Well, I was in the middle of… er… the end when Remussortofwalkedinonme,”Harry finished at a lightning speed.  There was a brief moment of silence before rich full bodied laughter rang throughout the apartment.  Percy had cracked and was laughing uproariously.  George followed suit soon after.  Harry’s embarrassment ebbed into a tentative chuckle. 

“Oh… Merlin... Harry… How do you get yourself into these situations,” Percy asked clutching his sides, laughter punctuating his question.

“Only you Harry-kins, only you…,” George said with tears in his eyes.

“Sod off the both of you,” Harry summoned a glower that would’ve made Snape proud.  “I just had the awkward breakfast from hell and I can only be on the lam for so long.”  That started another round of laughs.  When the laughs ebbed, they made some more small talk over a quick cup of tea.  George went down into the shop after they were finished.  Percy kept him company while he waited for Hermione.  Harry was pleasantly surprised by the changes in Percy.  Percy was more relaxed than he had ever seen him.  It looked good on him.  It sounded good too; Harry couldn’t remember hearing the most serious Weasely laugh so much. 

“The joke shop seems to agree with you, Perce,” Harry said while they waited for Hermione.

“I think it actually does.  I only wish that I had been able to see it sooner.  I never thought I could feel this happy helping people pull juvenile pranks.  Sometimes it feels like a slap to the face.  I should have been sharing this with Fred.  It’s been a difficult summer in a lot of ways.  I’m trying to make amends for how terrible I was, but it feels like there is no way I can completely atone for my stupidity.  Working here feels like a small step in the right direction, though.  I enjoy helping develop the new products.  It’s really quite challenging, and a great deal more entertaining than reporting on cauldron bottom thickness. Unfortunately, I’m not as good at the mischief as Fred was or Ron could’ve been.  George is the idea man.  I’m just his walking encyclopedia and occasional test subject. ”

“Percy, you have to forgive yourself a bit.  Everyone else has forgiven you.  I’m happy you’re here.  It’s a good thing to be happy,” Harry told him.  “It’s okay to be happy” was sort of like his motto now.  Madame Pompfrey had made him repeat this more than once during his sessions.  It was one of several things that helped him not feel the oppressive guilt that would sneak up on him. 

“I suppose you’re right.  So, how’re you doing?  You seem to be doing better,” Percy pried tactfully.

“I’m doing better.  I still have some moments that are rough, but it’s easier to get through.  Madame Pomfrey has helped a lot.  Plus, not counting this morning, I’ve been able to talk to Remus about everything.  I’m trying.  It’s weird being here again.”

“I was never here before, but cleaning out Fred’s room was difficult.  It was practically booby-trapped with unfinished experiments along with being emotionally taxing.  In a weird way, it was kind of nice.  As I went through his things, I feel like I kept getting glimpses into aspects of Fred I never got to know.  I shrank most of it and stored it in his old school trunk.  There are a few things I kept out, though. It’s nice to feel like a small bit of him is still here.  It’s sort of funny because I’m finally getting to know Fred.”

The floo interrupted their discussion then.  Hermione came stumbling out of the fireplace.  Harry glanced down at his watch and grinned a bit.  As always, she was perfectly punctual.  It was noon on the dot.  Percy, however, was a bit more useful.  He’d gotten up from the table and was helping Hermione to dust herself off.  She gave Percy a warm smile and wrapped her arms around him in an exuberant hug.  When she let go of him to give Harry the same treatment, she didn’t notice a lightly blushed and slightly pleased looking Percy in her wake.  Harry was a bit disappointed when he felt the urge to squirm away from her as she hugged him.  Of all the things that had gotten better over this summer, his aversion to people hugging him hadn’t gone away.  It had lessened if he was hugged by the person often.  However, he hadn’t hugged Hermione since she’d left, so, he felt like balking at her embrace.

“It’s good to see you Mione.  I’ve missed you something awful,” Harry said happily.  “You look gorgeous.  Australia seems to have treated you well.”

“Oh, Harry, no need for the flattery.  It’s wonderful to see you too.  You look marvelous by the way.  I think that for the first time since I’ve known you, I’m not worried about you being malnourished,” she said pushing him to do a small turn so she could check him over.

“Madame Pomfrey has had me taking some serious nutrient potions the past few weeks.  I’ve filled out quite a bit.  Unfortunately, I’m probably not going to get much taller.  Thanks to the long term effects of being shoved into a cupboard and inadequate nutrition as a child.  But, I think I like the look of properly fed on me,” he grinned at her. 

“So, what look are you going for this afternoon?”

“I’m thinking I’ll keep it subtle this afternoon.  It’s a bit easier to hold that way.  You?”

“I wasn’t sure.  I was thinking I’d just lighten my hair to a blonde and straighten it a bit.”

“Sounds perfect ‘Mione.  I’m sorry you have to do this just to hang out with me.”

“Oh, Harry, it’s nothing.  I really don’t mind.  I’ll just actually look pretty on a normal day out for a change of pace,” Hermione said in a lame attempt at humor.  Harry never liked the rare occasions when she ran herself down like that.    

“You’re fine the way you are Hermione.  While a disguise is necessary for going out with Harry, you have no reason to worry about your looks.  You look just… er…,” Percy paused as his face turned red. “I mean… you look very appropriate.  Anyway, I really should get down to the shop.  I’ve been distracted by company long enough.”  He said making his escape as quickly as possible.  Harry was tempted to burst out laughing.  Hermione just looked perplexed as if she couldn’t understand his odd behavior.  Harry just sighed.

“He’s right, ‘Mione.  You’re perfect the way you are.  I just don’t want us mobbed.”

“Still having that weird “don’t touch me” problem,” she asked; ignoring any statements concerning her looks. 

“Yeah, it hasn’t gone away.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me.  Madame Pomfrey thinks that if it doesn’t go away soon that it’s probably not a mental problem.  Thankfully, she ruled out curses the first day I went to see her.  I don’t have any physical muggle ailments either.”

“But, Harry, if it’s not mental, physical, or a curse; then what is it?”

“Well, if it keeps up I’m sure you can find a book on it.  Now, enough about me and my boring problems we have shopping to do.  So, shall we get our glamours on?”


	5. In Which the Wolf Apologizes

Harry’s glamour was easy enough to pull off.  He had lengthened and reddened his hair.  No matter how hard he tried, he never seemed to be able to tame it though.  The result when he was glamoured like this was somewhere between permanent bedhead and freshly shagged.  He kept his skin its usual fair coloring, but added freckles across his nose.  He could never bring himself to change the color of his eyes.  He lengthened his face and sharpened his features just a bit.  Harry imagined if he had a red haired cousin he might look something like this.  He no longer looked like himself, but similar enough.  This would be the easiest to hold. 

Hermione had stuck to her original plan.  She had given herself a dirty-blonde color for her hair and smoothed it out.  It was still wavy, but had lost its characteristic frizz.  She threw on some make up and her look was completed.  Harry had to admit that the overall effect was breath taking.  The summer spent soaking up the Australian sun had given her normally olive skin a healthy looking bronze tone which her now blond hair complimented.  The smatter of makeup had completed the look and Hermione could have graced any magazine.

“Wow, ‘Mione, you look wonderful and you barely changed anything.  I look like a goof next to you.  Of course, that isn’t any different than a normal day,” Harry complimented.

“Really, Harry, it’s nothing,” Hermione denied, but she had a slight blush across her cheeks and a pleased look.  They both strode over to the door that led to the shop.  As they were about to open it, George opened it up and paused in the doorway.  He looked a bit uncomfortable.

“What’s going on, George,” Harry asked.

“Well redhead Harry, Remus is here with Teddy.  He was hoping to speak with you.  I told him I had to check if you were still here. So, are you still here Harry?”

“Let me think a minute, George,” Harry replied.  He knew that he couldn’t avoid Remus forever, and truthfully he wanted to clear the air.  However, the awkwardness of breakfast gave him pause.  As he weighed his options, Hermione had to ask the obvious question.

“Why would you want to avoid Remus, Harry,” she asked innocently.  George chuckled heartily at her question.  Hermione raised her eyebrow in an uncanny impression of McGonagall. 

“You’ll have to ask Harry-kins, Hermione. Don’t be surprised if he tells you no, though; it’s quite the story,” George said, “So, should I go kick a werewolf out of my shop?”

“No, George, I’ll talk to him.  I can’t put it of forever,” Harry replied as he screwed his courage to the sticking place.  “Should I go downstairs, or are you going to send him up?”

“Considering the nature of your coming conversation and the average age of my customers, I think I’ll send him up.  Fred and I set up this apartment so no one in the shop can hear anything going on up here,” George sniggered. “Come on Hermione, let’s give Harry some privacy.  He’ll need it.  I’ll tell Remus to expect a saucy redhead to answer my door,” George winked as he left, dragging Hermione with him.

Harry was left to await his doom.  He was genuinely worried about this confrontation.  Breakfast had been horrible.  Remus wouldn’t even look at him.  He worried that Remus now thought he was some sort of freak.  Freak.  The word had been rattling around in his subconscious the entire morning.  It was the word that had isolated him as a child when all he wanted was a family.  It was the word that made it ok for his only blood to reject him constantly.  It was the word that gave Petunia permission to treat him like an indentured servant; for Vernon to constantly belittle and neglect him; and it was the word that justified all the beatings at Dudley and Company’s hands.  Harry could not stand it if Remus started to think and act the same.  He didn’t want to be away from Remus and Teddy.  It would break him in half and shatter him into a thousand pieces if Remus were to pull away from him.  Logically, he knew that he was worrying over nothing.  Remus was probably just a bit embarrassed, but it made Harry worry nonetheless.  Thankfully he didn’t have to panic long.  Barely, three minutes after George left there was a knock on the door.

“It’s not locked,” Harry called.  Remus opened the door to the apartment and walked in.  He looked Harry in the eye and blushed.  Harry felt his own cheeks coloring in response.  They stared at each other like that for what felt like an awkward eternity.  Remus broke the silence first.

“Harry, I just wanted to apologize.  I behaved badly this morning.  I shouldn’t have barged in on you,” Remus stumbled through his apology. 

“It’s alright, Remus.  I’m sorry you walked in on me.  I know that I made you uncomfortable.  I promise it won’t happen again.  I hope you can forgive me.  I understand if you don’t want to,” Remus looked puzzled, “you know… be around me that much anymore,” Harry had to be purple by now. 

“Harry, what are you talking about,” Remus asked concerned as he took a seat next to him on the sofa.

“Well, I just… I mean… Well, I know you’re uncomfortable with me now and… er… I guess that like I’m still a little freaked out that you know about me.  I know you were with Sirius, and you wouldn’t really have room for talk.  Hell, I know that you’re not that kind of person at the end of the day, Moons.  You’ve never made me feel anything other than,” he paused a minute to find the word. Safe and warm were good, but sappy.  He couldn’t say something like that with Remus’ big concerned eyes on him.  It would be too intimate.  “… You know comfortable.  But, I can’t help but waiting for you to cast me away for it.  It’s what my uncle would’ve done,” he finished in a defeated tone.  He couldn’t let himself look at Remus.  What happened next surprised him.  Remus threw his arms around him and drew him in close until he was practically in his lap. 

“I’m doubly sorry then, Harry.  I should’ve said something at breakfast.  I never wanted you to feel like you weren’t wanted,” Remus said softly.

“It’s alright, Moony.  My head knows that.  It’s not your fault.  I guess I still feel pretty messed up sometimes,” Harry replied in an equally hushed tone.

“Merlin, Harry, what did those ridiculous relatives raise you to believe?  Even if you had made some sort of mistake it wouldn’t be something that makes me not want you around.  Hell, I’m... er… we’re going to miss you terribly when you leave in in a few days.  I know I’ll still see you all the time, but it won’t be the same.  I think you’ve spoiled me.  I don’t know how I’ll handle Teddy all by myself,” Remus chuckled nervously as he finally released Harry. 

“Moony, you’re going to be great.  I’m the one that’s going to be in trouble when I go.  It’s going to feel so empty at Grimmauld by myself.”

“I promise we’ll visit often.  Hell, every full moon you’re going to have Teddy.  Not to mention I’ll be there every day during the week to tutor you.  You’re going to be sick of seeing us.  You’ll be back to having almost no privacy before you know it,” Remus tried to console.  It worked and Harry laughed.

“Cheeky, Moons, very cheeky… Of course one upside to my impending isolation is that I won’t have to worry about a roommate that doesn’t understand the meaning of silencing charms,” Harry shot back finally feeling ok about the whole situation.

“You know the fatal flaw of silencing charms?  It’s not incredibly obvious to another person that they’ve been used.  A hat on the door knob works a bit better to ward off unwelcome visitors,” Remus retorted mischief gleaming in his eyes.

“Fair enough, in the future please be aware of a hat on the door before entering.”

“Will do.”

“So, I think I ought to catch up with ‘Mione.  We have some shopping and some talking to do.  Plus, I promised her a meal after we were done shopping.  Do you want to join us?  I don’t think we’re going anywhere fancy.  Probably just to the Leaky, but you’re more than welcome.”

“Actually, that reminds me of the other reason I needed to see you,” Remus reached into one of his robe’s pockets and pulled out a piece of parchment.  “You left in such a hurry that you had left your book list for the year.  I figured I would deliver it to you and use it as an ice breaker if needed.  I’m glad we were just able to talk to each other.”  He handed the list to Harry.  It should have been rather abbreviated since he only needed to take his owls in Transfiguration and Potions, but Remus appeared to have added to it.

“Remus, you know I’ve never studied Ancient Runes or Arithmancy.  Why have you put books for those subjects on this list,” Harry asked with a grimace.

“Harry, the only reason you took Divination was because you thought Trelawny might have another real vision.  If you don’t like those subjects we won’t continue with them, but I figured you might want to give them a shot.  I think you’re going to like Ancient Runes.”

“Alright, Moons, I trust you.  See you at the Leaky for an early dinner?”

“I have Teddy with me.  Besides, you don’t want your dodgy old professor tagging along on your evening.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Remus!  How many times must I remind you that you’re not old?  Anyway, I know we’d love to have you.”

“Alright, I’ll see you there then.  What time?”

“We’re probably going to finish shopping kind of early, but we were thinking around four.  By the way, where is Teddy,” Harry asked as he stood up and made for the door.

“He’s downstairs with Percy and Hermione.  What’s going on with those two,” Remus asked as he followed him to the door.  Harry paused and grinned.  He was glad that someone else was sensing the tension between the two.

“As of right now, nothing.  I think Hermione’s still upset about Ron.  But, I think Percy likes her.  Can I tell you something without it reaching anyone else’s ears?”

Remus rolled his eyes as he answered, “You should know by now that you can!”

“Right… er…. Well, I can’t believe I’m going to say this… But, I think she might be better off with Percy anyhow.  I miss Ron terribly, and I know they really cared for each other; but I mean it would have been ‘Mione and Ron.  Ron was always so jealous.  I feel like he was always allowing his own insecurities to get in the middle of relationships.  How was he going to handle being in a relationship with Hermione?  She’s brilliant.  She has enough money.  She’s stunning.  I mean Hermione is the type to be the youngest Minister of Magic one day, and I don’t think Ron would’ve handled it well.  Percy can be a jerk, but I think he’s more Hermione’s speed.  When she’s ready, I hope she gives him a chance,” Harry said in all honesty if a bit forlornly.  To Harry, it felt like the most disloyal thing he’d ever said about Ron. 

“Don’t worry, Harry.  It stays between us.  Though, if things had worked out; Ron might have surprised you.  Your father certainly surprised me.  I never thought he’d grow up enough to make it work, but look how well that turned out,” Remus said as he smiled pointedly at Harry.

“I don’t know.  If they hadn’t gotten together, then I wouldn’t have been born.  Voldemort wouldn’t have had any extra incentive to hunt them down.  They might still be alive.  Merlin, Remus, sometimes I wonder how you can stand me.  I am at the center of the calamity that lost you your friends, husband, and wife.  I know it isn’t my fault, but still...”

“Harry, I’m happy with the way things worked out.  For starters, thinking that it would’ve all worked out better without you is optimistic.  You don’t know what Vol… HE was like.  It was actually better this last time.  You changed it all for the better.  I just wish you hadn’t of had to be in the center of it.  It wasn’t fair to you.  I miss them all, but I have Teddy.  I have my life.  I have you, and never forget that I couldn’t be more grateful.  Now, let’s stop this depressing conversation and continue with our day.  I believe you have a pretty blonde waiting for you downstairs and shopping to do,” Remus said as he pushed Harry out of George’s apartment into the busy shop.

Harry met up with Hermione downstairs.  She was hanging around with Percy while struggling with a fussy Teddy.  When Harry cooed at his godson, Teddy looked thoroughly confused.  His expression amused Harry and Remus.  No one could fault him, though.  It was odd hearing your godfather’s voice come out of someone unfamiliar.  Remus took Teddy from Hermione and promised to meet them for dinner.  Harry decided on the spot to invite George and Percy as well.  George declined.  This was one of the shop’s busiest days.  He kept it open later than usual and needed to be there.  However, George practically shoved Percy into accepting the invite.  Percy was reluctant.  He knew the shop was busy and didn’t want to leave his brother in a bind.  It took a good deal of assurance from George before he finally agreed.  Harry must have made a face because when George caught his eye he gave him a mischievous wink.  Harry and Hermione left shortly after Percy’s accepted their dinner invitation.  They both hugged George and bid Percy a “See you at dinner” then exited the shop into the bustling commotion of Diagon Alley.

……

It was somewhat surreal shopping with Hermione for their school supplies.  Flourish and Blotts was packed like every other year Harry had gone shopping there.  Harry purchased all the books on Remus’ list; a fancy edition of The Tales of the Beadle Bard for Teddy; and a few random books on defense, Quidditch, and the Wizengamot.  He was grateful to Hermione for helping him pick out the Wizengamot books.  She knew the good ones from the rubbish.  The next stop was the apothecary.  Harry bought himself an entirely new potions set.  Between the end of his sixth year and the final battle, he had misplaced most of his potions equipment and supplies.  Being in the apothecary was upsetting.  After having the Half-Blood Prince’s book, Harry realized that Severus Snape was truly a gifted brewer.  His book was likely destroyed in the Room of Requirement fire during the battle.  Standing in the middle of the Apothecary, it hit Harry hard how much knowledge and potential was lost that night with Severus Snape’s passing and the destruction of his book.  They hit Madam Malkin’s after that.  Both of them needed new robes.  Hermione needed the special robes that McGonagall had chosen for the eighth years.  As for Harry, Hermione insisted that it was time to finally break free of the hand-me-downs.  Although he had grumbled about it, Harry agreed and left the shop in new clothes with more to be shipped to him in about a week. Hermione dragged him to one last shop.  The Magical Menagerie loomed in front of Harry.

“It’s time, Harry.  You need a new owl.  The menagerie has recently started selling them.  I refuse to spend this school year working around the Floo every time I want to hear from you,” Hermione said.  Harry scowled.  “I know you miss Hedwig.  She was a wonderful owl, and I’m not suggesting you try to replace her.  However, you need an owl for post at the very least.  Which reminds me,” she opened her bag and pulled out an envelope and handed it to Harry.  “I found this letter in my parent’s post this morning.  I think it’s from your cousin.  My parents gave your relatives their address once just in case.” 

Sure enough, the envelope was addressed:  To: Harry J. Potter via care of H. Granger.  The return address listed D. Dursley as the sender.  Harry pocketed the letter in his new robes.  He would read it over later.  The fact that his cousin had written him was alarming, but the petulant side of him didn’t feel any need for haste.  He looked at the emporium entrance and sighed.  As usual, Hermione had a point.  He needed an owl.  They were too useful in this world to go without.  It didn’t mean he was replacing Hedwig.  Harry let out an audible sigh.

“Thanks, it does in fact seem to be from Dudley.  I wonder why he’s writing me.  I checked with the Auror’s Department after the battle.  They said my relatives were returned to Privet Drive safely.  I sent them a letter letting them they shouldn’t be bothered by me or anything magic anymore.  The post office demanded a return address, and the only one I could think of was yours.  I suppose I do need an owl and perhaps a P.O. Box, if their writing me becomes routine.”

“You’re not going to read the letter now,” she asked.

“No, I’m out with you today.  I don’t want a letter from my cousin to possibly ruin it.  Plus, we need to get me an owl.  One task at a time… er… thinking of, we ought to get a move on.  Madam Malkins took longer than expected, and I have one more stop I’d like to make,” Harry said as he walked through the door.  Hermione followed him looking somewhat puzzled. 

The menagerie was always somewhat chaotic inside.  Different cages were strewn about haphazardly.  Owls seemed to flutter throughout the poorly lit shop.  Plus, to Harry, it was a bit noisy in parts.  Not only were there the standard owl hoots, cat mewls, and toad croaks, there were several snakes holding loud conversations about the shop.  Some were dryly humorous in a scathing way.  Most were just the average complaints about being kept in glass.  Harry had hoped that with the destruction of the horocrux residing inside of him, the ability to understand snakes would go as well.  He had been sorely disappointed to find out that hadn’t changed.  Being a parseltounge was another thing that set him apart from other wizards.  It was one more thing that made him abnormal, and he hated it.  So, when he entered the shop, he rushed past the snakes quickly has he could to the owls on the far wall.  Hermione seemed to have needed a few things for Crookshanks because she went straight for the cat supplies.

Harry stared at the wall of owls for a solid fifteen minutes.  He avoided looking at the Snowy Owls.  He figured that another snowy would be like replacing Hedwig which felt wrong.  He was looking mostly at the common Barn Owls.  Most of them were a good size and seemed to be healthy.  He didn’t know what he was waiting for, but he needed a sign or something from one.  He needed something that let him know that was the owl for him.  He was pulled from his reverie by what appeared to be the owner’s voice cutting through the noise of the menagerie. 

“Oh dear… you’re not getting any better are you.  I don’t know what more I should be doing for you.  I know you’re a finicky creature.  You phoenixes always are… but still. Your coloring is awful and you’re not anywhere near the end of your cycle,” the woman cooed at a pathetic looking creature.  Harry knew that it was supposed to be a phoenix.  However, the poor creature looked like it had been through the wringer.  Its feathers were sparse and lacking color.  Its eyes looked dry and pained.  Then there was the fact that it was making some strange sort of noise.  It was as if the poor creature had a sore throat.  Harry wondered if Hagrid could help the poor creature.

“Excuse me, miss,” Harry said to the shopkeeper.

“Yes, what is it, dear? Figure out which owl you’d like?  I’m happy that we were able to get into owls with Eeyelops’ just around the corner.  These owls bring in so many customers.  You seemed very interested in that large barn owl.  I could ring you up in a jiff…”

“Er… No, that won’t be necessary at the moment.  I was actually going to inquire after that phoenix.  How did you obtain it,” Harry asked.  The woman hadn’t been kidding that phoenixes were hard to tame.  Dumbledore had been one of two people able to domesticate one in all of Britain.  This woman having one in her shop was the definition of suspicious.

“Oh, well it’s a sad story.  This poor bird should never have been captured.  I received it from the ministry.  Usually, they’re just set free, but this poor girl was in a bad way.  She was confiscated from a dark wand maker.  The poor thing was kept chained in a small cage that damaged her ability to escape with magic.  I don’t think she was fed well, and I think she was practically tortured for ingredients.  Phoenix ingredients for wands or potions must be offered to be pure, but stealing them is powerful in a dark way.  I had hoped that I could bring her around, but I must admit I’m a bit out of my depth.  I don’t know much about them but I know that these birds have to bond with their owners.  I haven’t been able to bond with this one.”

“Her,” Harry inquired.

“Yes, she is definitely a she.  She should be able to nest and have chicks, but she barely seems interested in eating, let alone mating.  So, now which one of our owls can I get for you?  The barns are good and sturdy, but you look like someone who might like something a bit more exotic.  Perhaps, I can interest you in one of our snowy owls,” she offered.

“NO,” Harry practically shouted at her.  “Er… I mean… No thank you.  I will take the large barn owl that I was looking at.  I would also like to purchase this phoenix.  How much does she cost?”

“You can’t possibly want her.  She’s not well.  The owl alone would do you well.  Besides I’m not too keen on letting her go and face more abuse.  I was thinking that whoever I sold her to would be accompanied by references.  I can’t let her go with some unknown person.  The poor creature has been through enough,” she argued.  On one hand Harry was annoyed with the woman; on the other he admired her desire to protect the creature from further harm.  Harry glanced around the shop and noticed that it was mostly deserted. 

“Madam, I would like you to cast a spell on me to end glamours,” the woman looked at Harry suspiciously.  “Please, I mean you no harm, but I want you to know who I am.”  The witch still suspicious pulled her wand from her robes and cast a quick finite incantatum.  Harry morphed back into himself and watched her jaw drop.

“Oh! Oh my!  You’re Harry Potter,” she said in one of those quiet shouts.  “Blimey!  Are you really interested in taking her?”

“Yes, I’m very interested.  I would be willing to provide you with references. However, I’d like to leave with her today.  Would you mind if I have them sent later,” Harry asked politely.

“You’re Harry Potter.  I think I could waive the references.  Are you absolutely positive you want this phoenix?  She’s quite damaged,” she said.  Something in her tone annoyed Harry. 

“She’s perfect.  I’ll take her and that large barn owl over there.  I’ll need all the things to feed them and a large cage to transport the phoenix.  I’d appreciate it if you could keep my visit here quiet.  I’ve been having difficulty going anywhere without receiving a great deal of attention lately,” Harry said controlling his voice to stay pleasant.  It wasn’t this woman’s fault that she’d unintentionally touched a nerve.

“Yes, Mr. Potter, of course,” the woman went straight to filling Harry’s order.

It took a few minutes to arrange everything.  Harry had another large order so it took a few minutes.  Then Hermione had to buy all of her supplies.  Once their business was complete, Harry shrank all the supplies and sent them on to Andy’s house with Archimedes, his new owl.  Harry reapplied his glamour before he went back out into the alley.  He carried a large cage with the phoenix inside.  As he exited the shop he looked at the phoenix and said:

“I don’t know if you’ll want to stay with me.  I can understand if you don’t.  Some things are better left the way nature intended them.  However, I hope you allow me to get you well before you leave.  I have a friend that I think can help me.  His name is Hagrid.  He knows all sorts of things about magical creatures.  I think we can probably correct your magic with his help.  If not, maybe another friend of mine called Fawkes can help.  He’s a phoenix like you.  Of course I don’t really know how to summon him.  Usually, he seems to just swoop in at convenient times.  I hope you get well soon, though.  I think I’m going to call you Zera.  How does that sound?”

The bird made a satisfied cooing noise in response.  Harry grinned at the bird.  He didn’t know if she’d stay after she was healthy, but at least it seemed like she was going to stay with him until she was well.  Hermione had an odd look on her face as she watched him.

“What is it,” Harry asked her.

“It’s just that these are the sorts of things that seem to happen to you.  We go into a store to buy you an owl, and you come out with a phoenix.  Then, because you’re you, said phoenix seems to take to you instantly, even though it has been abused and probably doesn’t trust easily.  It really seems to be the sort of thing to only happen to you.  It’s like Buckbeak all over again,” she answered half amused and half incredulous.  Harry felt himself blush.

“Well, you know me.  It’s not a trip to Diagon without something unusual happening.  Come to think of it, my plans are never pulled off flawlessly.  Of course, this has been a rather unusual day in the extreme.  Thankfully, it’s been spent in the best of company,” Harry complimented and Hermione beamed in response.  A thought occurred to Harry then.  He needed to check the time.  When he glanced at his watch, he saw that it was almost time to meet up at the Leaky.  “’Mione, we really need to get to the Leaky if we want to meet Remus, Teddy, and Percy on time.”

“I thought you had another stop you wanted to make?”

“I did, but it isn’t important.  I can always come back another day.  I just wanted to look at some pre-made potions.  I don’t know how to brew wolfsbane, and I want to make sure Moony is well supplied,” he replied.

“Oh, that’s very sweet of you.  I’m sure Remus would appreciate that.  I know you’ve spent all that money fixing up Grimmauld, but I’m kind of sad to know you’re leaving Mrs. Tonks’ home.  I know it wasn’t consistent throughout the summer, but you seem happy there,” she said, her tone implying something. 

“I won’t lie, ‘Mione.  It’s going to be difficult to leave.  I love living with them, especially Remus and Teddy.  Teddy is my little buddy and, even though he wears me out, I get a great deal of satisfaction from helping with him.  As for Moony, I’m just going to miss him when I move.  I know I’ll see them often.  I’m basically going to be seeing Remus all the time since he’s teaching me this year.  It’s just going to be different when I move,” he admitted dejectedly. 

“Oh, Harry,” Hermione sighed. 

“No time to dwell on this sad subject, ‘Mione.  We have a dinner to attend,” Harry tried to wash off the gloom of their conversation.    After that, they didn’t loiter any further outside the menagerie.  They quickly made their way to the Leaky Cauldron.  When they arrived, Remus and Percy had already grabbed them a table.  Still feeling a bit low after their conversation, Harry was lifted from his gloom when Remus spotted them and smiled as he beckoned them to the table.

……

Dinner had been mostly pleasant.  The food was decent.  The company was excellent and entertaining.  Percy was not a smooth talker, so, watching him stumble through conversations with Hermione during the meal was entertaining.  Harry proudly showed off Zera to Remus and Percy.  Percy didn’t look too impressed, but Remus had a small grin on his face.  It was as if Remus had read something about the situation the others hadn’t.  The only small cloud on the dinner was the overly flirtatious waitress.  She was wearing a tight fitted, low-cut, blouse paired with an equal small and revealing skirt.  She flirted mostly with Remus until Harry’s glamour suddenly wore off.  Then, he was the center of her attention.  It took some quick spell casting from the group to make sure she didn’t alert the whole room to Harry’s presence.  Unfortunately, they were stuck with her for the rest of dinner.  Harry wondered at some point how anyone in the wizarding world could still think he was straight.  Although, he had written The Profit to deny rumors of his dalliances with Draco, he had quite clearly stated his interest in his own sex.  This slag of a woman was not only annoying him, but wasting her own time.  The upside of ridding himself of the glamour was Teddy.  The little boy immediately held out his arms to Harry, and Harry ended up holding him throughout dinner.

By dinner’s end, Harry was fairly happy with how the day went.  It had been trying, but it had also been productive.  He was done with his shopping for school.  He had obtained a phoenix.  He had patched things up with Remus.  And above all else, he had been able to spend time with Hermione.  He was going to miss her this year, but returning to Hogwarts was not practical with his upcoming duties with the Wizengamot and the fact that he really didn’t want to be reminded of the battle every ten seconds.  On the upside, by the end of dinner he had managed to secure Hermione’s help on his creature reform bill.  Harry was so content by the end of the day, he had almost forgotten Dudley’s letter.  Hermione reminded him before he flooed home.

“Harry, let me know what your relatives are writing you about when you get a chance.  I fear this year will be terribly boring.  I don’t know what I’m going to do without you and R…R…Ron getting me into trouble all the time.  You morons may have been bad for safety and house points, but things were never boring with you around.  I’m going to need to hear all your entertaining stories to keep myself entertained,” she pleaded. 

“Of course, ‘Mione, I wouldn’t dream of keeping you in the dark.  I need your counsel too much.  I’m going to miss you too, but hopefully we’ll see each other a bit.  McGonagall did promise that eighth year students would be more free to come and go.  If nothing else, I’ll just have to come see you in Hogsmeade a couple of weekends,” Harry promised before giving her a stiff hug goodbye.  He really missed the days when he could hug people without it being awkward.  Thankfully, when he said goodbye to Percy; Percy accepted a handshake from him. After all their “fair wells” had bee said, they all took their preferred mode of travel back to their homes.  Hermione apparated.  Percy walked back to the shop.  Harry, Remus, Teddy, and Zera flooed back to Andromeda’s house. 

When they got home, Andy was again gone for the evening.  Once again, she was visiting with her sister.  Harry did what he could to settle Zera into her new home.  He sent Archimedes to Hagrid immediately asking for help with phoenixes. Then, Harry and Remus played with Teddy until it was his bed time.  When Remus had left to put Teddy down, Harry took the envelope from Dudley out of his pocket and opened it.  Inside the letter read:

_Dear Harry,_

_I know that receiving this letter from me must come as a shock.  I hope that you actually read it and don’t burn it before even opening it.  I am writing because I desperately need your help.  I know that I don’t deserve it, but I must ask.  I have recently found out that I am the father to a seven month old girl.  I barely knew her mother.  It happened right before we were sent away, and was the result of one night of misguided passion.  Upon my return, the young woman in question passed her off to me with a paper terminating her parental rights.  At first, I didn’t want to believe that any of it had happened.  It really took until I received the results of the DNA tests for me to accept it.  As soon as I accepted it, I fell in love with my daughter.  I named her Iris.  She is incredible, and I can’t imagine life without her.  It is mostly for her that I am writing you._

_See, the main reason that her mother terminated her rights was odd things were happening around Iris.  Odd things like if she became too hungry, her mother would suddenly find her with a bottle in her crib.  They made me think of you.  In my heart, I already know that my daughter is every bit as magical as you are and my aunt was.  These incidents have decreased since I started looking after her, but they still happen occasionally.  I have been covering for her with my parents.  I know how they treated you, and I fear for my daughter’s safety.  It’s only a matter of time before they catch her at it, and things are already tense because of the circumstances of her birth.  My parents were less than pleased by the arrival of my daughter.  They wanted me to give her up for adoption because of my age.  I simply couldn’t do it, and I worry that they hold it against her.  Add a little magic to this equation and I don’t think they’ll take it well._

_The other problem I’m having is with me.  Ever since early May of this year, strange things have been happening around me.  I don’t know what’s going on with me, but I’m worried.  It seems to be tied to my emotions.  I’m worried that whatever it is will hurt my family.  I can’t quite describe it, but I swear weird things happen when I’m angry now.  I don’t want to harm my daughter._

_I need you to help her.  I hope that you can help me as well, but I know how we treated you.  I would understand if you want nothing to do with me, but Iris is innocent.  Please help her, and if you can find it in your hear me as well._

_I want to end this letter reinforcing how sorry I am for the way my family and I treated you when you were a child.  Before we went into hiding, I offered you my hand.  I should have done so long ago.  I had to grow up to see that what we had done to you was wrong.  We are your family.  We should have protected you from the world; not been your reason to distrust it.  As a new parent, I feel this more deeply every day.  I can’t help but think of how ashamed my Aunt must be of me.  I couldn’t bear it if something happened to me and Iris was treated poorly.  So, please forgive me, and please help Iris._

_Sincerely,_

_Dudley Dursely_


	6. Halloween Part 1:  The Wolf Meets the Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I know this is a long chapter. I hope it's ok. I promise the next will be shorter

It was storming the night before Halloween.  However, it wasn’t the storm that woke him.  Harry was awakened by the sound of a crying baby. He grabbed his wand from under his pillow; he’d gotten into the habit of placing it there during the horocrux hunt.  He then stumbled out of his ridiculously large bed as he wondered which babe needed tending to. He summoned his bathrobe and pulled it on.  In his haste, he stumbled over his own slippers causing him to take a lurch face first towards the floor.  Zera was trilling as she watched him from one of her more favorite perches she claimed in Grimmauld, and Harry was certain she was laughing at him.  Harry scowled at the phoenix who trilled back at him from the corner of his bedroom as if professing her innocence.

“While I’m glad you’re almost recovered, you could show a bit more concern.  Who would feed you if anything happened to me,” he groused at her as he made to exit his master bedroom.  He was grumpy.  Mystery dream man had just started removing his robes when he was rudely awaken.

He cast a silent lumos to light his path.  No matter the updating done to Grimmauld he’d been able to do, electricity refused to run in this place.  Harry figured it was a small price to pay for the security granted by the wards, but at times like this it was inconvenient.  Especially, since he didn’t fully understand how the lighting in the place worked.  He had never seen a switch, but during the night until they went to bed the lights seemed to work just as any other muggle light-bulb.  Unfortunately, if you woke up in the middle of the night they became a pain and wouldn’t always turn on.  Hence, a lumos was necessary.  He made for the rooms on his left where he and Remus had set up the nurseries a few weeks ago.

Harry opened Teddy’s door and checked on him.  He was sleeping soundly in his crib.  Harry watched his godson for a few moments letting his mood improve.  It had recently been discovered that Teddy was a metamorphmagus like his mother had been.  At almost seven months, he couldn’t really control the changes.  However, his appearance seemed to change with his moods.  His hair, in particular, was likely to change at random.  Vibrant colors seemed to indicate he was happy.  Deep colors were a bit of a mystery, but appeared to indicate deep thought or contentedness.  The only color that they knew for sure meant something was deep red which meant temper tantrum.  Watching Teddy sleep had become one of his favorite pastimes because his godson’s hair would go through the rainbow as he slept.  A soft cry pulled his attention back to his original task. 

Harry gently opened Iris’ door and was startled to find Remus already holding her.  Harry appeared to have startled his roommate as well because upon his quiet entry Remus jumped when he heard the door click shut.

“Merlin, Harry, you almost gave me a heart attack.  Make some noise when you’re stalking the halls in the middle of the night.  You’re too quiet.  Did the storm wake you,” Remus grumped good-naturedly.

“No, I think she did.  I heard her crying and came to check on her.  I stopped in at Teddy’s first.  He was fine.  What are you doing up?  You know the full moon is coming up on Wednesday.  You need your rest,” Harry scolded still a bit grumpy from being awake when he should be asleep. 

“I was... in pain.  The transformation closest to Halloween is always difficult,” Remus responded gruffly. That explained a lot, like why he was standing there in the dark.  Along with the heightened sense of smell, Remus tended to get a bit sensitive to light during his transformations.

“Is there anything I can do?  I can get you whatever you need.  I don’t want you to be in pain,” Harry offered.  He always hated how much pain Moony went through every full moon.

“I’m alright, Harry.  Besides, there isn’t much anyone can do for it.  I just have to grin and bear it.  Are you sure you don’t mind watching Teddy again?  Andromeda or Molly could take him.  I feel like I’m taking advantage…”

“Remus, how many times are we going to have this argument?  I want you here.  You are not taking advantage of anything,” Harry said a warning in his voice.  He was too tired and it was too late or early to go through this again. 

“Fine, so what’s on the schedule for tomorrow?  Are we still taking the kids trick’r’treating,” Remus asked to change the subject.

“Yeah, I kind of have the day planned; whatever good that’ll do me.  Actually, could you watch the kids tomorrow… er… later this morning,” Harry asked after he checked the clock on the nursery wall.  “I was planning on making a trip to Godric’s Hollow.  In the afternoon, I thought I’d visit Dudley and Ron.  But, I figured I’d take Iris with me.  It’s been awhile since she’s seen her father.  I know Dudley misses her.  Then, if you’re up to it, we could take them to Diagon for some candy.  We could probably skip it, though.  They’re still rather small and wouldn’t even remember.  Plus, strange things happen to me on Halloween.  Might be best to have a quiet night in,” Harry finished thoughtfully.  Memories of his past Halloweens flashed. 

“I don’t have a problem ditching the trick’r’treating.  Would you mind if I accompanied you earlier in the day, though?  I haven’t been to your parents’ graves in years.  It’s been difficult to go… Of course if you’d rather have your privacy, I can keep an eye on the…”

“No,” Harry interrupted him. “You’re welcome to come with me.  I just didn’t think you’d want to go,” Harry knew he was blushing.  He felt a bit sheepish.  In some way, he felt that he should have known to invite Remus with him in the first place.  He also felt a bit of relief.  The only other time he’d seen his parents’ graves was during the horocrux hunt.  It had been a comfort to have Hermione with him then, and some part of him recognized that Remus would be a comfort to have with him now.  Harry noticed Remus gazing at him intently and he felt himself blush more for some incomprehensible reason.  A subject change was needed.  So, he nodded at the babe in Remus’ arms and said:  “Thanks for grabbing her.  You certainly have a way with her. I worry that she’s unhappy and barely tolerates us.  She certainly doesn’t seem to like me very much…” 

“I think she just prefers blondes, Harry.  She seems perfectly content with Draco. I seem to get her to relax well enough,” the proof of his statement was obvious.  Iris was calming in his arms; making small huffing noises as she settled.  In the nine some odd weeks since Harry had met her; she had been shy around Harry.  He could feed and change her, but she seemed to prefer almost anyone to him.  If she was truly upset, Harry never seemed to be able to cheer her up again.  When he considered it, Remus may have had a point about her preference for blondes.  Andromeda was almost as unpopular as Harry, but the Malfoy clan seemed to have a way with her.  It still rankled a bit; Remus was not _that_ blond, more of a sandy brown.  Her favoritism towards him stung.   

“I shouldn’t be too surprised.  She probably comes by it honestly.  Her grandparents don’t like me very much either,” Harry said trying to disguise the hurt he felt in humor.

“She likes you fine.  I think she’s just being a stinker.  She seems happy enough with you when she thinks I’m not here.  Plus, she’s had a hell of a year.  She started with a mother who left her.  Then she had a father who almost turned into an obscurus, and is currently recovering in St. Mungo’s.  Then, she was handed off to someone she was completely unfamiliar with for a third time, you.  That would be an ordeal for anyone, let alone a small baby.  You can’t blame her for clinging to the familiar.  Even if it’s just a preference for bonds.”

Harry didn’t really have a reply.  He just walked closer in and pat and rubbed her back.  He had to admit that Remus had a point.  It would have been a lot of change for anyone.  Even he didn’t have that much turbulence after his parents died.  Landing at the Dursley’s had been horrible, but they’d been stable.  The baby in Remus’ arms had quieted, but now she peered at him through her long eyelashes as she tried to fall back to sleep.  Her eyes were striking.  She had a balance between Harry and Lily’s emerald and a beautiful sapphire blue.  Harry thought back to the first time he’d seen her.

……

Harry had read and re-read the letter a dozen times. He didn’t know what part he found most surprising:  that his cousin had a daughter; that his daughter was magical; that his cousin was being nice; or that his cousin may be magical himself.  However, he knew which implication he was most disturbed by.  People didn’t just suddenly develop magical powers.  If Dudley was magical, then someone should have realized that when he was young.  Harry couldn’t remember precisely what happened, but he knew that wizards and witches that come into their powers too late could self-destruct.  This outcome was more likely if the wizard had been raised in an anti-magic household.  In Harry’s opinion, Dudley was right to worry about harming others.  Wizards that this had happened to before had been known to cause earthquakes.  Harry stared at the letter again; desperately trying to come up with some sort of plan.  Unfortunately, his mind was drawing a big blank.

“Harry… Harry… Harry…”

“Remus,” Harry asked confused.  He had not heard the man return. 

“Harry, what’s wrong,” Remus asked as he reached a hand to Harry’s forehead.  “You look like you’re going to pass out.  At least, you’re not feverish…”  Remus kept fussing over him, but Harry barely heard him.  He caught one of Remus’ hands; looked him straight in the eyes; and handed him the letter.  “Is it this letter that’s bothering you?”

Still a bit in shock, Harry just managed a nod before sinking into Andy’s sofa.  Harry watched as Remus read and then reread through the letter.  Remus seemed to pale as he considered the contents of the note.  Remus sank down on the couch next to him.  Harry found his voice then.

“I don’t know what… I mean how… Where should we begin?  I can’t leave that little girl there, if nothing else.  I know my Aunt and Uncle, Remus.  They’ll mistreat her.  She’s only a baby,” Harry said hollowly.  The last part seemed to snap Remus into action.

“Harry, we need to get to your Uncle’s house as soon as possible!  I’m going to send Andy a patronus.  You need to fire call McGonagall and ask her to meet us here.  Then the three of us are apparating to your cousin.  This is very serious.  He’s developing an obscurus.  We need to get to him before he accidently kills anyone, himself included.  If we can get him to St. Mungo’s, they can stop him from becoming a full-fledged obscurial.”

“An obscurus, Moony,” Harry asked still somewhat in shock.  “I don’t understand.  Isn’t he too old?  How has it not shown itself before?  This makes no sense!” Harry ended in full blown panic.

“I don’t know how,” Remus snapped at him, but continued more gently.  “I don’t know, Harry.  He should be too old, but it seems he’s come into his powers rather suddenly.  You’re right that none of this makes sense, but time is of the essence.  I need you to either fire call McGonagall or send a patronus off to Andromeda.  We really need to get there and try to get answers,” he ended in a forced calm voice.  Something about what he said finally got through to Harry. 

“Alright, Moony, you fire call McGonagall.  I’ll send off my patronus.  We’ll need to stop somewhere so I can call ahead.  Dudley needs to know we’re coming.  He may see us as a threat otherwise, and if he’s becoming an obscurial that could be disastrous.”

Things moved rather quickly after that. Andromeda received Harry’s patronus message and popped home from the Malfoy’s.  Harry was surprised to see Draco along with her.  While they waited for McGonagall, they read through the letter and had a cup of tea.  McGonagall had been up finishing up some last minute matters for the beginning of the school year.  However, she needed some time to get dressed.  She popped out of the floo a few moments later looking worried.  She had brought several items with her, but Harry only recognized the sorting hat.

His expression must have shown his puzzlement because McGonagall winked at him then said: “You should know better than anyone that this hat does more than sort people into houses.  One of the reasons the sorting ceremony is important is because when you put on this hat it stabilizes your magic.  It will help us if your cousin has magic that is going out of control.”  Harry just nodded his head in agreement.

Before they left, they devised a strategy for handling the situation.  They planned that the first thing that had to happen was they needed to place a phone call to Dudley.  For that, they needed to apparate to a phone.  Harry figured one of the phone boxes in London would suffice.  After that, Harry adamantly suggested that they arrive in a way that was as close to muggle as possible.  He had two reasons for this.  First, it would give the muggles time to prepare for their arrival.  He had to explain that in the muggle world instantaneous arrival after a phone call would be somewhat unusual.  The second reason he had was he wanted to keep his relatives at ease.  His Aunt and Uncle were terrifyingly anti-magic.  Arriving by muggle means in a muggle timed way would help keep the situation from blowing up.  So, Harry picked a phone box near a coffee shop he used to frequent during his summers at the Dursleys.  As a group, they apparated to the coffee shop.  McGonagall, Remus, and Draco went into the shop and ordered everyone a cup of coffee. Harry went to the red phone booth and stared at it a moment.  He took a breath, entered, put his coins in the phone, dialed, and sent a silent prayer to whatever god was listening that Dudley would answer.  As usual, nothing for Harry ever went that easy. 

“Dursley residence, Petunia speaking,” his aunt’s voice lilted through the wires.

“Erm… Hello, this is… er… Piers Polikiss.  I wish to speak to Dudley.  Is he at home,” Harry asked.  He did his best to imitate what he remembered Piers sounded like. Harry hoped his aunt fell for it.  Although, if she didn’t he wouldn’t blame her.  In his own assessment; he thought he just sounded like a goon.  A sound that he hoped was similar enough to what he remembered.

“Piers!  Darling, it’s wonderful to hear from you.  I’m a bit surprised you were able to ring. I was worried you wouldn’t have time for our boy anymore.  I know college is demanding, and I was worried about the last time you and Dudley had spoken.  I know it’s been rough waters for your friendship since the newest stain on our family arrived.  I hope your move in went well.  Your parents must be so proud to have seen you off.  I won’t keep you.  Just give me a moment to get Dudley.  He’s tending to that nuisance,” his aunt said with venom.  Harry’s heart sped.  He needed to get there and get that baby away from his Aunt and Uncle.  No one should talk about a baby that way.  His aunt prattled on a bit more before she called for her son.  Harry allowed his mind to wander while he waited for his cousin to get on the line.  He was surprised by the tone of his cousin’s voice when he finally spoke.

“What do you want now Piers?  Haven’t we exchanged enough barbs?  Call to gloat about your newest conquest?  Or are you still wondering when I’m getting rid of my daughter?  Which you should know by now is never,” Dudley hissed over the phone.  In the background, Harry could hear some glass shattering.  Whatever had happened between his cousin and Piers clearly was not calming his cousin down.  Harry interrupted him before his cousin could really go into a rage.

“Dudley, I’m not Piers.  It’s Harry.  I got your letter.  Please calm down.  I’m sorry I upset you.  I didn’t know you two had a falling out.  I just didn’t want your mother to hang up on me,” Harry said as calmly and naturally as possible.  He didn’t want to spook his cousin more than necessary.

“Harry… Is it really you,” Dudley asked tentatively.

“Yes, Dudley, it’s really me.  My friend Hermione gave me your letter.  I am worried about what you talked about.  Can I talk to you about it,” Harry asked still trying to keep worry out of his voice.  The last thing he wanted to do was make an obscurus jumpy. 

“Yes, thank you for calling me.  I would truly appreciate any information you can give me.  I just want to be the best father I can be,” his cousin pleaded. 

“Alright, Dudley, I need you to listen to what I’m going to tell you.  First, whatever happens I need you to do your best to stay calm. I hope you don’t mind, but I shared your letter with a friend.  We think that your emotions are causing the incidents.  Now, I don’t know the particulars.  However, it would appear that you are wizard, Dudley. I know that’s a lot to absorb…”

“No, it isn’t,” Dudley interrupted.  “I figured I must have had some magic of my own.  The incidents timed too well with my outbursts.  I just don’t understand why it took so long.  I mean shouldn’t this have shown up already?”

“Yes, it should have been apparent long ago.  We don’t know why, but that doesn’t matter at the moment.  Uncontrolled magic can be dangerous.  So, you need to your best to remain calm.  The second thing I need you to do is pack your things.  I’m coming to get you tonight with three others.  Pack only the most important things.  We’ll replace everything else.  My friends and I will arrive between half an hour and forty-five minutes from now.  In that time, I need you to do your best to keep calm.  Ok?”

“Alright, Harry, I’ll do my best.  I’ll get everything together the best I can.  I am happy to hear from you.  I was worried about you all last year.  Thank you for your help.  I really appreciate it, and I know I don’t deserve it,” Dudley said with sincerity.  Harry sighed.

“Dudley, you’re family.  You’re also not the person you were as a child.  I should have written you earlier, but it was a rough year.  We’ll get through this.  If I’ve learned anything from the Weasely’s it’s that family is there when you need them.  It’s just what you do.  We’ll be there soon.  Don’t worry.  We’ll help you with anything you need when we get there.  Just relax, and stay safe.  I can’t wait to see you and meet your daughter,” Harry tried to console. 

“Alright, Harry, we’ll be ready.  See you soon.”

“See you,” Harry said then hung up the phone when he heard the click. 

He exited the booth and walked into the coffee shop.  His small group had found a table near the back.  Harry noticed that they were drawing some curious glances from other patrons.  They had rushed out of the house quickly.  If they had taken a minute, Harry might have suggested a costume change for Draco and McGonagall, and cast a glamour on Remus’ scars.  Harry felt a brief moment of amusement at the realization that Draco in his perfectly tailored robes; McGonagall in her turn of the century schoolmarm’s dress; and Remus’ overly scarred form were all normal to Harry.  Harry took a quick glance around before casting a silent Notice-Me-Not and Muffliato over their group as he approached.  He took the empty seat next to Remus, and took a swig of the drink they’d gotten him.  They all looked at him with a silent question burning in their eyes.

“I told my cousin we’d be there in between half an hour and forty-five minutes.  In that time, I need to ask Professor McGonagall: how is this happening?  I know not everyone shows obvious signs of magic as a child, but wouldn’t his name have been in the school register?”

“Well, I honestly don’t know everything.  However, from what Remus and I were discussing while you were speaking to your cousin; I think we can make a few educated guesses.  I should start first by telling you that I have no idea why his magic has waited until now to make itself known.  That is a mystery I hope we can solve tonight. As to why he wasn’t on the register, that is a simple and unfortunate consequence of the war.  During his initial rise to power, You-Know-Who had records of muggle-born children destroyed and wiped from the register. If you were to think on it, your class was rather small in comparison to the one two years below you. The reason is many muggle-born children were unable to receive their letters.  I’m not sure how many were wiped from the register, but it seems that You-Know-Who was rather unimaginative in his methods.  Muggle-born children whose last names began with letters A through about G and born before he was defeated the first time were hit particularly hard,” McGonagall explained.

“So, what you’re saying is Dudley’s records were lost and so he slipped through the cracks,” Draco asked.

“Precisely so, Mr. Malfoy,” McGonagall replied. 

“I still don’t understand,” Harry interrupted.  “I know that the register would be off, but an obscurus is only created by a relatively powerful wizard or witch.  How did his magic go unnoticed?  Was it really just absent until May?”

“I honestly don’t know the answer to that question Mr. Potter.  Suppressing a person’s magic is possible, but rarely used.  The rituals used to pull it off are ancient and difficult, most bordering on dark.  It is awful for the person.  On full grown people, it can cause madness. If used on a child, it risks the very situation we’re confronted with.   However, the only other explanation is that your cousin somehow suppressed it himself.  That would require an insane amount of wish power.  If it were any other family I’d dismiss it out of hand, but considering whom he’s related to…,”McGonagall trailed off meaningfully.

“Minerva, can any of these rituals be found in Hogwarts library,” Remus asked.

“I’m not sure, but you can find most things in that library if you know where to look.  Why do you ask,” she countered with her trademark raised brow. 

“I have a hypothesis, but I’ll need to see Harry’s cousin before I can confirm,” Remus replied.

“Care to share with the rest of the class, Professor,” Draco drawled.

“Not just yet,” Remus replied in a bit of a clipped tone.  “It’s not really relevant to the task at hand.”

“Speaking of the task at hand, what is the game plan if everything goes to Hades,” Draco asked.  “Or are we just charging in recklessly like the foolhardy lions you all are?”

“Well, I think we were all just hoping for the best.  I mean it’s really difficult to plan around obscurials.  The best advice is to stay calm, and if things go south to speak to him calmly.  You don’t win a fight against an obscurus.  They can’t be controlled.  The best we can hope for if things go south is for Dudley to regain control.  However, it shouldn’t be too bad if we can get them out quickly and calmly,” Remus answered.

“So, what you’re saying is we’re winging it,” Draco grimaced.

“Directionally winging it.  We have a goal:  keep the situation calm.  We just lack a particular process.  If it bothers you, you don’t have to come along.  It is rather risky.  We all know that snakes don’t fare well when they stick their necks out,” Remus said with a bit of mischief gleaming in his eyes and a slight smirk.  Harry grinned a bit.  Remus’ intelligence, mannerisms, and love affair with cardigans would have many people thinking he was a nerdy, goody two shoes.  Moments like this allowed the Marauder to surface. 

“I’m not leaving!  I just don’t like going in blind,” Draco said affronted at the insinuations that he couldn’t handle it.  Remus’ smirk turned into a full blown grin then, and Harry found himself thinking that Remus looked good when he was scheming.  He shook his head and dismissed the thought quickly; he needed to focus.  Draco turned his attention to him, “What do you think is the probability of everything remaining calm, Harry?”

Harry thought a moment before answering.  When he thought about it, the x factor in the equation was easily identified.  His aunt and uncle were the unpredictable part of this mess.  If Dudley was able to avoid them for the next twenty minutes, then they could probably pull this off without a hitch.  However, if there was any confrontation…

“If anyone else were trying to do this, I’d say we’d be alright.  However, it is me.  If my aunt or uncle says anything, then we will be dealing with problems.  I think I’m going to head out now.  I’ll only be a bit early.  I can wait for you outside their house, but I don’t trust our luck to hold,” Harry said as he rose from his seat.  Harry exited the building and, as soon as he could, apparated to just outside 4 Privet Drive.  He was there barely a minute when three pops sounded his companions’ arrival.  Harry opened his mouth to say something when they felt it. 

The ground began to shake under their feet.  Number four’s front door blew open with the sound of a small explosion.  Slivers of wood flew at them. They could hear Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon’s terrified shouts.  The windows of the home started were rattling, threatening to follow the door’s example and shatter.  Harry didn’t know what had happened, but it must have been bad.

“Draco, Moony stay out here and make sure it’s contained!  Professor McGonagall, come with me,” Harry shouted as he ran into his childhood home wand at the ready. 

Inside was chaos.  Harry breathed a small sigh of relief.  The telltale black shadow indicated the final stages of a developing obscurus.  Its absence was a small blessing.  However, Dudley seemed to be faring well enough without it. The normally perfectly organized knickknacks were zooming through the room and smashing into the walls and occasionally each other.  The house was shaking causing the numerous pictures of the Dursley family through the years to come crashing down off the walls.  The glass in their frames shattered as they hit the floor.  The family portrait over the fireplace fell from its mount over the mantle.  A magical whirlwind pushed it into the grate.  Out of nowhere magical flames roared to life and burned the portrait to nothing but ash.  Harry had to admit, his cousin knew how to throw a tantrum.  He turned and glared at his Aunt and Uncle. 

“What did you do to him,” he snarled as his relatives cowered in a corner.  Uncle Vernon, being more idiotic and pigheaded, answered him.

“We did not do anything,” his terror exchanged for righteous anger.  “It was that bastard.  I knew we should have shipped it off the moment it arrived.  There had to be something wrong with the little freak…”  He stopped off.  Harry had no idea how he looked to his muggle relatives, but it must have been terrifying.  His uncle stopped midsentence while his aunt gave a small whimper.

“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?  Do feel this house falling around itself?  This is your fault!  No child is a freak you small pathetic man!  Now get the hell out of this house before I let your son finish you off when he blows this place to smithereens,” Harry screamed at them both.  To their credit, his aunt and uncle did not bother to talk back any further.  They sprinted towards the hole that used to be their front door and exited the house. Once they were outside, Harry made a quick decision.  He had a feeling that Dudley and his daughter were holed up upstairs.  He could just charge in there, but that would risk escalating the situation.  Harry had the impression that Dudley was somehow trying to protect his daughter with this tantrum.  Charging into his room might not be the wisest course of action.  So, he decided to try announcing his presence.

“Dudley,” Harry shouted.  The house continued to shake.  So, he tried again.

“Dudley,” he shouted again.  Once again, nothing changed.  This time Harry decided to use a bit of magic and cast a mild sonorous on his voice before he shouted. 

“Dudley, it’s me.  It’s Harry.  I have some friends with me.  Two are outside.  Professor McGonagall is with me.  We’re not going to harm you or Iris.  We’re here to help you both, but I need you to calm down, Dud.  You’re about to bring the house down on us,” he said loudly but as calmly as he could.  He waited just a moment before all the magic converged in on itself.  Harry could practically feel it brush past him and resettle upstairs in his cousin.  The quieted magic left a strange feeling in the house.  It was as if the absences of Dudley’s magical tantrum created a cold, comfortless, vacuum.  Harry found it unnerving, but didn’t let his mind on it for any length of time. The important thing was Dudley was in control at the moment.  So, Harry removed the sonorous and called up the stairs again.

“Dudley, would it be alright if my friends and I came upstairs,” Harry called.  He waited only a moment before he heard some rustling on the floor above and the shutting of a door.  Dudley Dursley appeared at the top of the stair case.  He was holding his daughter firmly in his arms.  The baby seemed calm and relaxed in her father’s arms.  Dudley looked some combination of nervous, cautious, and mama bear ready to strike at a threat to her cub. 

“Harry, you’re here,” Dudley asked tentatively.

“Yep, I’m here.”

“Are Petunia and Vernon still in the house,” Dudley questioned.  Harry noticed how his cousin practically spat out his parents’ names. 

“No, they’re outside somewhere.  I sent them out of the house so they wouldn’t get hurt,” Harry answered.

“Good!  I don’t want them anywhere near me or Iris,” Dudley said coldly as the few dishes that remained in his aunt’s china cabinet exploded.

“Ok, ok,” Harry quickly responded, not wanting his cousin to work himself up again.  “They’ll stay out of sight until we’re ready to leave.  I promise.  I’ll tie them to the fence if I must!”

Dudley seemed to be placated by his promise and said, “Good.  I’m sorry.  I don’t want to frighten anyone.  I just can’t control my temper when they’re near.”  Harry found himself chuckling at that.  McGonagall gave him a look that clearly stated that she thought he’d lost his mind.  Dudley heard his chuckle and gave a weak one of his own before saying, “God, Harry, I don’t know how you put up with this for ten years.  It hasn’t even been ten months and I’m cracking…”

“Dudley, if it had happened to me the way it’s happening to you, then I might have cracked long ago myself,” Harry tried to console his cousin.

“Thanks, Harry.  I’m sorry about this.”

“It’s nothing to worry about.  May I ask what happened to cause all this destruction?”

“Yeah, I’ll just get out bags and we’ll be downstairs in a minute,” Dudley assured.

“Would you let me help you with your bags?  We can carry more with a bit of magic,” Harry offered.  Dudley considered for a moment before nodding his head.  Before traversing the stairs to Dudley’s room, Harry told Professor McGonagall to get Draco and Remus to help with clean-up and any of the neighbors that may have noticed something was amiss.  Then he walked up the stairs and down the hall to his cousin’s room.

The door was wide open; so, Harry just walked right inside.  Harry had been surprised at the state of his cousin’s bedroom.  The rest of the house looked like hippogriffs had decided to rampage through it, but this room looked utterly unaffected.  Harry did not believe for a second that it was a coincidence.  Harry was positive that Dudley’s magic had lashed out to protect himself or his daughter.  Dudley’s daughter…  The babe was still curled in her father’s arms.  Suddenly, Harry felt an overwhelming desire to see her.  He cautiously walked closer to his cousin.

“May I meet your daughter,” Harry asked.  He didn’t want Dudley to interpret his actions as a threat. 

“Of course,” Dudley replied.  Harry watched as his cousin shifted his daughter so that Harry could see her.

One glance was enough to see why Dudley had done a DNA test.  The little girl was stunning.  She had a full head of strawberry blonde curls that perfectly framed her plump face.  Her skin was fair with a smattering of freckles across her small, upturned, nose.  Her lips were rosy and plump.  However, it was her eyes that were easily her most beautiful feature.  Her eyes were a balance between green and blue.  They were a deep turquoise.  She was beautiful, and Harry couldn’t see much of his cousin in her.

“She doesn’t look like me at all, thank God.  Can you imagine a little girl with my frame,” his cousin said somewhat joking.

“She’s gorgeous, Duds.  Where did she get her eyes,” Harry asked in honest curiosity. 

“That’s a bit of a mystery, actually.  I have blue.  Her mother had blue.  She should have had blue.  Her hair is a bit of a mystery too.  Her mother and I are both blonds.  I just chalked it up to a latent gene in one or both of us.  I know your mum was a redhead and all…  I think my mother hates her because she looks like your mum,” Dudley finished dejectedly.

“She is more blonde than my mum was.  At least, I think she is.  I only have pictures of my mum from about the time she had me,” Harry supplied at a loss for other words.  He glanced around his cousin’s room.  Harry noticed that his cousin had really packed very thoroughly for the time he’d been allotted.  In fact, it was probably impossible that he’d packed it all in that time.

“You were packed before I got here,” Harry questioned.  Dudley turned a bit red.  Harry panicked for a second; worried that he had upset his cousin.  However, it appeared that Dudley was just mostly embarrassed.

“Well… you see... I was mostly packed already.  I was supposed to move in with Piers this summer.  We were going to share a flat this year at university.  She showed up a few days before I was supposed to leave.  Between my parents’ reaction and adjusting to being a father, I didn’t really think of unpacking.  I think that deep down I was just waiting for them to kick us out.  I suppose it worked out in our favor,” Dudley shrugged.  Harry nodded in an attempt to show solidarity.  They he quickly shrunk all the boxes before packing them into Dudley’s back pack.  The only things that they had to carry now were Dudley’s backpack and Iris’ diaper bag. 

“Is that everything,” Harry asked.

“I think so.  Any awesome wand waving for double checking,” Dudley asked a mischievous grin breaking through the overall depressive mood.  Harry gaped at his cousin.  Dudley was asking him to do magic.  Never in his wildest dreams could Harry have imagined that.

“Hm… If there is a spell specifically for that, then I don’t know it.  My friend Hermione probably would, but I might be able to summon your things.  I’ll try Iris’ things first,” Harry said.  He took a moment and focused his mind on all things a baby might possess from bottles to toys to clothes.  “Accio Iris’ unpacked things.”  Harry waited a moment before a pacifier, a lavender onesie, and a baby doll whizzed into the open door.  Harry was surprised that it had worked.

“Wow!  That was awesome.  It’s a good thing you cast that spell.  Iris is particularly attached to Mrs. Fluffers,” Dudley said as he picked up the doll and packed it with everything else in her diaper bag. 

“Alright, your turn next.  Back up a few paces, though.  Your stuff is a lot bigger than hers, and if something large comes zooming in I don’t want you both getting hurt,” Harry advised.  He then concentrated on all the things that Dudley might have missed while packing.  He modified it a bit where Dudley was concerned, though.  He focused on important papers and possible sentimental items.  “Accio important things that Dudley has not packed,” Harry said.  The results were a bit more immediate this time. 

A bank book that had escaped its home in the top drawer of Dudley’s dresser bolted from beneath the dresser.  A folder that was filled with Dudley’s identification documents came from his Aunt and Uncle’s room.  Report cards and his fancy piggy bank stuffed with various notes came from the floor below.  The items from the attic crawl space brought up the rear.  There was moving box filled with Dudley’s baby things; several photo albums picturing Dudley with different family members; and, to Harry’s surprise, a Hogwarts standard trunk bearing the name Lily Evans.

“Harry, why do I have your mother’s trunk,” Dudley asked just as shocked as he was.

“I honestly don’t know, Dudley,” Harry said feeling distressed.  His nerves were wearing out.  The Dursley home felt more like a mine field than ever, and now his mother’s school trunk had appeared out of nowhere.  It was then he heard the footsteps coming up the stairs. About ten seconds later, Remus popped his head cautiously through the door.

“I noticed all the stuff whizzing about.  I just wanted to check on you both.  How is going in here?  Almost ready,” Remus asked as matter-of-factly as possible.  Harry didn’t really meet his eyes.  He just pointed at the trunk he’d yet to shrink down.  Remus looked at it and his eyes went wide. 

“I think this proves my hypothesis correct, but it doesn’t matter.  We need to get going if we want to make it home before two in the morning.  You must be Dudley.  It’s very nice to meet you.  I’m Remus,” he said as he held his hand out to Dudley.  Dudley shifted his now sleeping daughter into his left arm and shook Remus’ hand.

“Dudley.  I’m sorry you had to witness my tantrum.  This is Iris.  Harry, you should have told me you got a… significant other,” Dudley chided.  Harry groaned and sank into Dudley’s bed. 

“We’re not together like that, Dudley,” Harry explained.  His cheeks were burning in embarrassment. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.  When he said you lived together… and I guess I assumed you were more into men… I apologize to you both,” Dudley apologized imitating Harry’s tomato impersonation.

“It’s alright Duds.  You’re right about my preferences.  We’re really just roommates for now… er… I mean I’m moving into my own place soon,” Harry qualified when he saw the evil grin Remus gave him at the “for now” part of his explanation.

“It really doesn’t matter.  We can discuss all of this later.  Right now, we need to get you away from here, Dudley.  Has Harry explained what’s happening to you,” Remus asked. 

“Not very much, he just said something along the lines that what’s happening with me is more complex than what happened to him,” Dudley replied.

“Well, he’s not wrong.  However, I’d like to fill in a few gaps for you.  First, you have to understand that most people come into their magic before they turn eleven.  If they don’t, they’re usually still on the school registry which know all the magical children in the region.  Those with magic are then sent their Hogwarts’ letter and attend school.  School is important for young wizards because it teaches them how to control their magic.  While we have a good hypothesis as to why you did not receive a letter, we have no idea why your magic waited so long to express itself.  The second thing you have to understand is that the loss of magical control creates something like an illness.  If this illness goes unchecked, then it can be very harmful to the wizard and those who surround him.  Do you understand me so far?”

“You’re saying that I’m ill, and I’m in danger,” Dudley said worriedly.

“Yes, I am.  However, you’re going to be fine.  We’ve caught it before it got too far.  When we leave here tonight, we’re going to take you to the wizard hospital called St. Mungo’s.  They’ll be able to help and explain better than we can.  Ok,” Remus finished.

“I guess it’s alright.  Will I be able to keep Iris with me,” Dudley asked.

“I don’t know,” Harry replied after Remus suddenly found his feet rather interesting.  “I don’t want you to get your hopes up.  I can take care of her until you’re out of the hospital.  After you’re done you can move in with me, or I can help you two get your own place.  Let’s just focus on getting out of here and getting you well.  Keeping yourself calm will help keep you well.  The more you lose control; the worse you’ll get.  But, we have one last thing to do before we go.  It will not be pleasant…,” Harry trailed off.  His aunt and uncle were a source of stress for his cousin, and the last thing they needed was another outburst. 

“My parents need to be dealt with, right,” Dudley completed Harry’s suggestion.  Harry watched his cousin draw a deep breath, exhale, and lean down to press a kiss to his daughters head.  “You know what set me off today?  After I hung up on our conversation, I came up here to pack.  It was pretty easy.  I just threw things into the boxes.  I put her on the bed for a minute and went to find her pajamas.  I couldn’t find them.  I muttered something about wondering where I left them, and he smiled at me then somehow summoned her diaper bag up here.  Unfortunately, I had left it on the kitchen counter and my parents saw the whole thing.  They began shouting immediately.  They wanted me to,” he paused to take another controlled breath.  “They wanted me to lock her in the cupboard until she could be properly dealt with.  I was so frightened, Harry.  I don’t really want to hurt anyone, but I couldn’t really stop some of it from leaking out.  I could have unleashed more power on them, but I just want my daughter to be safe.  I don’t really wish my parents ill, but I don’t think…  I don’t want them around my daughter.  I don’t know how you lot… er… our lot handle this sort of thing, but I’ll go with whatever you think is best,” he finished sorrowfully. 

“We could offer them obliviation,” Remus suggested.

“What’s obliviation,” Dudley questioned.

“It’s a spell that erases a person’s memory.  If we did this, your parents would forget about you, your daughter, and magic entirely.  We could probably obliviate far enough that your mother wouldn’t even remember that her sister was magical.  It would be like you never existed to your mother and father,” Remus responded gravely.  Dudley paled at the suggestion.  “I know it’s a lot to ask of anyone… too much, really… but we need to consider what’s best for all of you.”

“I didn’t think it would be that difficult.  I know they hate everything about magic.  I know they are terrified of me, and that they don’t love my daughter… It’s just…”

“They’re your family and you don’t want to give up on them,” Harry finished Dudley’s thought.  “We can give them a choice.  I know it’s rough, but at least we’ll know.  I’m reasonably certain your mother won’t choose it.  She loves you.  I think she even loves Iris, me, and my mum to some extent.  She’s just crap at showing it.”

“Will I have to be here for it,” Dudley asked unsure.

“No, you don’t have to be here.  In fact, it’s probably best if you’re not here.  We don’t want to risk your parents upsetting you.  If you’re comfortable with it, you and Iris will go with our companions downstairs to the hospital while Harry and I take care of your parents,” Remus answered.  He picked up the backpack that contained the last of the summoned items and looked at them expectantly.  Dudley just gave a small nod of understanding; looked around his childhood room; and took a deep breath as he walked out of his room to the floor below. 

Remus and Harry followed suit.  When they reached the living room, McGonagall and Draco were introducing themselves to Dudley.  The room looked like it usually did.  It was back to pristine perfection.  The china in the cabinet had been repaired.  The only thing missing was the portrait, and one couldn’t repair ash.  McGonagall was speaking to Dudley.

“This hat I’m going to put on your head is very special.  We usually use to sort children into their houses at Hogwarts, but it has many different magical uses.  One such use is it helps people to control their powers.  You will wear it all the way to the hospital.  Once you are feeling better, I hope you will consider attending Hogwarts for at least a semester.  You can learn much through tutoring, but you’ll have more resources at the school.  Also, it enables you to become a head of house if you ever decide to teach at the school.  Any questions,” McGonagall demanded.  Dudley looked a bit uneasy.  Harry couldn’t fault him.  McGonagall was very intimidating the first time you met her.

“What are the houses?  Does the hat test me or something to tell where I go,” Dudley questioned.

“The four houses are: Slytherin, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw,” Draco answered.  “The houses are named for the four founders of the school.  You are sorted into their houses by possessing traits that the founders looked for in their students.  Hufflepuff is for those who are fair minded and don’t mind hard work.  Ravenclaw is pretty much for people who are unique or intelligent.  Gryffindor is for the brave and moral.  Slytherin is for the cunning and ambitious.  However, it doesn’t really mean much.  First, I’ve heard tales that you can ask the hat to place you where you wish to go.  Second, my old head of house was braver than most Gryffindors; but he was sorted into my house of Slytherin.  So, don’t worry about where it suggests you go.  How that old hat does it is a bit of a mystery.” 

“Alright, I just have to put on the hat,” Dudley asked.  Everyone gathered nodded their head.  “Well, let’s get this show on the road.”

McGonagall put the hat on his head then.  It remained quiet for a full three minutes before proclaiming: “Gryffindor!”

“That was more harrowing than you gave it credit for,” his cousin said to Draco.

“Well, it doesn’t always take that long.  It barely touched my head before sending me into Slytherin.  Some people are just harder to place,” Draco drawled back. 

“That was the other house it considered for me.  It was a battle between my current self and my old self.  I don’t really understand why it matters, but…” Dudley shrugged.  “It did recommend that we get a move on, though.  It’s getting late and the longer we linger the more likely my parents are to upset me.  I take it you two will be accompanying Iris and I to that hospital?”

“Indeed, we are.  We’re going to do something called side-along apparation.  Unfortunately, we can only take one person each.  So, you’ll need to give your daughter to me or Mr. Malfoy,” she suggested.  However, the look on Dudley’s face had her quickly backing off that suggestion.  “If you trust Mr. Potter more than us, you could leave her with him and Remus.  They can meet us at the hospital after they’re finished here.  If I thought it’d be easier on your parents, then I would suggest that Harry accompany us to the hospital.  However, I don’t think that those muggles would take too kindly to our presence.”

“Blondie, you ever held a baby before,” Dudley demanded of Draco.  Harry chuckled at how ruffled Draco looked at his new nickname. 

“I am quite proficient at holding infants, you moose.  I hold Remus’ sprog all the time,” Draco responded in the smuggest tone any had heard from him since the battle.  He extended his arms in impatience.  It appeared that he had completely forgotten that Dudley was currently the most dangerous thing in the room.  Dudley reluctantly handed his daughter to Draco.  They didn’t delay any further.  Draco pointed significantly at the kitchen.  Then, with a brief “meet you at the hospital,” they popped out of the house to St. Mungo’s. Harry gave Remus a quick look before he entered the kitchen.  When he walked past his cupboard, he made it a point to not look at it. 

The Dursley’s kitchen was the excessive representation of the entire house.  It was sanitary to the point that it always smelled faintly of bleach.  It was perfectly decorated in that minimalist style that only those affluent enough could afford.  The appliances and counters looked like a magazine cover.  After spending time in the Weasely home, this house’s perfection always bothered him.  The kitchen always felt like most offensive room in the house.  Kitchens were supposed to be the heart of the home.  They were supposed to smell like delicious things cooking; have dirty dishes; and a few mystery messes at the kitchen table.  A kitchen was supposed to be warm; the Dursley’s kitchen was cold.  In this cold kitchen, Harry’s aunt and uncle sat unnaturally still at their perfect kitchen table. 

“Draco ran out of patience with your relatives and petrified them,” Remus explained unapologetically. 

“I imagine it didn’t take very long.  Draco may tease me about my temper, but he’s worse than I am,” Harry said as he sat at table across from Uncle Vernon. 

“Your uncle called us ‘freaks’ approximately twice before his wand twitched.  I was rather proud he held out that long.  I figured he might just kill them on principal,” Remus grinned evilly at his aunt and uncle.  “He’s changed greatly, but he’s still Draco.  I don’t think he’ll ever be the most muggle friendly wizard; especially, if the muggles in question behave like your aunt and uncle here.” He winked at Harry then.

“You’re a wicked man in mild mannered clothes, Moony.  Anyway, we need to have a discussion with these two.  Pretrificulus totalus,” Harry checked before casting the counter curse.  Remus nodded.  The minute he was done, Harry half regretted his decision.  Uncle Vernon started to yell again.  Harry was positive that had his wand not been drawn, Vernon would have launched himself bodily at Remus and himself. 

“WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO COME IN HERE AND MESS AROUND WITH MY LIFE?  I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE FROM THE DAY YOU ARRIVED!  THIS IS YOUR FAULT YOU FAGGY FREAK!  YOU INFECTED OUR SON WITH YOUR FREAKISHNESS!  THIS IS YOUR BLOODY FAULT!  THE DAMNED CUPBOARD WAS TOO GOOD FOR YOU!  MARGE WAS RIGHT!  YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN DROWNED AT BIRTH!  I’LL BE DAMNED IF I HOUSE THAT LITTLE FREAK MISTAKE OF DUDLEY’S,” Vernon bellowed. 

He continued on his tirade for another five minutes.  He had literally turned purple, and Harry was mildly worried that his uncle would have a stroke.  It was hard to sit there and listen to, but neither he nor Remus made any move to stop the shouting.  Yet, with every use of the word freak Remus seemed increasingly more likely to murder his uncle.  Harry was mostly numb.  A small part of his brain found it somewhat amusing.  The past six months since the battle had Harry treated like the second coming of Merlin.  It was reassuring, in its own messed up way, that in this house he’d always be seen as something lower than a slug.  He didn’t let his uncle’s actual words upset him that much.  He was used to this sort of tirade. With all that had happened today, Vernon telling him he was a freak was just the cherry on the top of some terrible sundae.  Eventually, Vernon quieted, but sat there glaring at his nephew. 

“Are you quite done,” Harry asked his uncle emotionlessly.  Vernon impressed Harry by purpling further since Harry would have claimed such a feat impossible ten seconds earlier.  However, before he could restart his mad rantings and ravings; Remus reached his breaking point.

“Listen you low-life,” Remus growled in a low but dangerous voice.  “You should thank your muggle god that tonight is not a full moon.  If it was, I might have forgotten that I try to do no harm when I’m transformed into a beast.  I might have allowed myself to rip you limb from limb and joyfully bathe in your blood.  However, I’m in control tonight which means you have the benefit of my patience.  You are pissing away your good fortune.  I suggest you sit down, shut up, and listen to what we have to say without further interruption,” Remus snarled at his uncle.  Vernon paled and sat down in compliance.  Harry gave Remus a wan smile in gratitude.  Remus gave him a quick wink. 

“Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon,” Harry began after taking a quick breath to calm down.  This would be difficult enough without losing control of his temper.  “I know that both of you don’t want to talk about this, and that I’m not either of your favorite person.  However, we need to explore your options.”  His aunt and uncle were watching him.  Aunt Petunia looked pale and a bit ill.  Uncle Vernon still looked like he wanted to haul off and begin brawling with him.  Harry sighed.

“The first thing you have to understand is Dudley is magical…,” he was cut off by Vernon then.

“MY SON IS NOT A FREAK!  WHATEVER IS HAPPENING IS CLEARLY YOUR DOING!  HE WAS FINE UNTIL LAST SUMMER WHEN HE DECIDED TO FORGIVE YOU!  YOU MUST HAVE INFECTED HIM WHEN YOU SHOOK HIS HAND… AH…,” Vernon broke off as he doubled over.

“Mr. Dursley, I thought we had agreed you would be silent while Harry was talking,” Remus said with an evil grin.  “It would be in your best interest if held a civil tongue in your head.  For forty-eight hours, the spell I put you under will shoot you a dose of pain every time you shout at, insult Harry, or say the word freak.”  Vernon looked apoplectic with rage, but was panting hard and didn’t say anything.  

“I didn’t infect Dudley with magic,” Harry said as patiently as possible.  The mere idea was ridiculous, but apparently it had to be explained to Vernon Dursley.  “Dudley has always been magical.  However, his magic has been suppressed until recently.  We don’t know why it didn’t show sooner.  However, there is nothing that could have prevented it.  Dudley was born with magic; just like me, my mother, and your granddaughter.  It’s not something anyone could control.  Nor is it something that can be passed on like an illness.  The problem is that by his magic appearing so late it can cause problems.  It’s actually quite dangerous for magic to appear so late.”

“Dangerous,” his aunt squeaked.

“Well, it’s usually not that big of a problem.  Usually, it would just pass by unnoticed.  However, if the person is powerful enough and raised in an abusi… er… anti-magic environment; then all the prerequisites that can create something called an obscurus or obscurial are met.  An obscurial can cause massive amounts of damage to:   their own bodies, often self-destructing; any they have reason to believe is a threat; or anyone that has sufficiently angered them.  It’s a strange combination of control and chaos.  The magic can be directed, but not tempered,” Remus supplied back to his standard lecture voice. 

“Are you implying my son is one of these… obscured things,” Vernon spat venomously.  However, it was apparent Remus’ spell got the point across. Normal Vernon speech would have called it a “freaky thing.”

“We’re saying he was well on his way,” Harry answered. Vernon scoffed then turned to his aunt with a murderous look on his face.

“This situation is all your fault,” Vernon growled at Petunia.  “All this frea… insanity runs in your family, not in mine!  You assured me that we wouldn’t have to worry about all this when we had Dudley!  That stain should have never been born!  I should have insisted on abortion when we discussed the situation,” Vernon snarled as his wife blanched.  At that point, Harry had enough.  His own magic, which had seen a bit of a boost over the summer, started to swirl around him. 

“ENOUGH, YOU STUPID, INSIGNIFICANT, WASTE OF SPACE, I HAVE PUT UP WITH YOU LONG ENOUGH!  NOW, YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS!  YOU CAN PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ARSE AND TRY TO BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING, OR YOU CAN LET US DO A COMPLEX MEMORY CHARM THAT WILL HELP YOU FORGET YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD!  YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DECIDE WHO SHOULD LIVE AND WHO SHOULD DIE!  I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD SAY SUCH A THING ABOUT YOUR OWN CHILD!  YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT AND I CAN’T WAIT TO BE RID OF YOU PERMANENTLY!  THE ONLY PERSON TO BLAME IN THIS SITUATION IS YOU AND YOUR ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR TOWARDS ME!  DUDLEY SAW WHAT HOW YOU TREATED MAGICAL PEOPLE AND SAW YOU AS A THREAT WHEN HIS MAGIC ARRIVED!  STOP BLAMING EVERYONE FOR YOU MISTAKES,” Harry screamed at his uncle.  The house was starting to rattle again.  Harry would have kept going, but Remus threw his arms around him and whispered in his ear:

“Harry, even with magic it took all three of us to get the house back in order.  Please calm down.  You’ll be upset later if you hurt him.”

Harry calmed himself and everything steadied.  His uncle had paled and looked ready to pass out from fright.  His aunt had ducked under the table during his rant and was shaking with her hands covering her head.  Harry felt the slightest pang of guilt at the sight of it.  He didn’t want to become Voldemort.  He didn’t want muggles to fear him or the wizarding community.  He didn’t want to bully people just because he could.  He leaned into Remus a bit and let the older man’s warmth wrap around him before he went over to his aunt.

“I’m sorry, Aunt Petunia.  I didn’t mean to frighten you,” he tried to soothe her.  “I just wanted to explain what was happening to Dudley.  You needed to understand if you wanted to keep seeing him now.  I can make you both forget if that’s what you want.  I can do it for one and not the other.  I can leave you both right now with everything as it is.  Please sit down and talk to us,” Harry pleaded.  His aunt gave him a weary look and nodded.  Once she resumed her seat Harry continued.

“We can make you forget about us.  We can rewrite history for you so that you are married but childless; so that I never existed or died in the car crash with my parents; so that my mother was simply estranged for some normal reason before she died in a normal way.  That is all that I needed to say tonight.  You can tell me now or I can come back later if you want the spell.  The only option not available to either of you is to continue the status quo.  It’s bad for a child to be brought up that way, and worse for a wizard learning to control his magic. If you keep in touch with Dudley, the anti-magic sentiment needs to disappear,” his uncle looked as if he was going to open his big, stupid mouth again.  So, Harry cut him off by addressing his aunt, “Which way are you thinking right now, Aunt Petunia?”

His aunt was pale and wild-eyed.  She hadn’t been participating in their conversation so far.  Her eyes darted around the room like she expected the answer to materialize in the pristine kitchen.  Then she looked down at her hands and seemed to gather her thoughts.

“I do not wish to forget my son, granddaughter, nephew, or sister.  I used to long for magic.  I was so jealous that Lily had some.  Deep down, it always made me feel inferior.  In all honesty, it still does,” she said in a small voice.  “It also terrifies me.  You all have immense power.  Tonight, my house was almost destroyed twice by magic.  You, my only living connection to my sister, spent the last year of your life chasing down a madman with this type of power.  The same madman destroyed my sister.  I don’t want to forget, but I can’t be involved.  I hate all of it.  It is something I want and will never possess.  It is something that I don’t understand and terrifies me.  I can’t bring myself to regret my son.  I love him dearly and don’t wish to forget that, but I can’t do this,” his aunt finished.  She sounded as weary as Harry felt.  Harry nodded then glared at his uncle.

“Uncle Vernon,” Harry asked.

“You do your freakis… er… your magic on me and I’ll be free of this?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll take that option,” Vernon said finality dripping with every word.  Harry pitied his cousin.  Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia had been good parents to Dudley; overindulgent to a fault, but proud and loving.  Harry had never had that from them, and thus didn’t notice the absence of it.  Dudley was effectively being abandoned by the two people he counted on most.

“Alright, Remus would you mind handling the necessary spells,” Harry asked.  Remus nodded in the affirmative.  “Thanks, I’ll catch you up at the hospital.  Aunt Petunia, I’m going to leave you an address where I can be reached until I have a more permanent address.  I’ll take care of Dudley and Iris.  I’ll make sure you get pictures and updates.  If at any point you change your mind and want to see us, just let me know.  Goodbye, and take care of yourselves.”

“Thank you, Harry.  Please keep them and yourself safe,” his aunt said.  Harry bowed his head slightly in acknowledgement.  Then, he turned his back and apparated straight to St. Mungo’s.

......

Harry found McGonagall easily and was led to a receiving room to sit with his cousin.  Harry had a small moment of amusement when he noticed Draco was still on babysitting duty.  A few minutes after his arrival, the healers started to pop in.  Dudley was put through every magical test St. Mungo’s could come up with.  Harry was almost positive he was the reason:  only the best for Harry Potter’s cousin.  For the first time he could remember, it didn’t bother him.  Harry wanted his cousin to get the best possible treatment.  If his presence made the healers a bit more thorough, then so be it.  Remus arrived about half an hour after Harry.  The healers had finished their tests and everyone was gathered in the room waiting for the various results.  Remus told the small group what happened after Harry left the Dursley’s.  Professor McGonagall offered Dudley an awkward pat on his shoulder in a sign of sympathy.  Dudley gave her a weak, but grateful, smile. 

A few minutes later, some bigshot healer came in to tell them the results of the tests.  Most of them showed a healthy, curse free, young man.  Dudley blanched a little at the confirmation that he wasn’t pregnant.  Harry made a mental note to give his cousin the wizarding version of the birds and the bees.  He had no idea what Dudley’s preferences were, and he didn’t want to assume based only on the fact his cousin had a daughter.  Even if it didn’t matter to him personally, it was expected of adult witches and wizards to know such things.  The healer’s work hadn’t been for naught, though.  They found that a spell had recently lifted from Dudley, and that he was under a strong glamour.  They were also able to sense the developing obscurus, but that wasn’t exactly news to anyone. 

The first thing the healer assigned to them did was remove the glamour.  According to the healer, leaving the glamour could conflict with Dudley’s treatment.  The glamour had to be removed with a potion designed for prolonged glamour exposure.  It would let the affected change back more gradually than all at once.  Then the healer went to set up Dudley’s room for the rest of his treatment. 

It took a full half hour, but by the end Dudley was given a mirror to look at his new face.  The changes were a combination of subtle and obvious.  Dudley’s hair was the first and most obvious change.  It turned to the exact same strawberry blond his daughter had.  The second most obvious change was his eyes.  They went from Uncle Vernon’s shape and color to Aunt Petunia’s shape with the same bottle green that Harry possessed.  He retained his mountainous build, but slimmed slightly.  His face changed to a balance between Petunia and Vernon.  Instead of Uncle Vernon’s complete circle, Dudley’s face had gained some of Petunia’s elongated shape making it more ovular.  The actual features of his face sharpened a small amount, and he gained a smattering of freckles over the bridge of his nose.  In the end, he went from looking like his father’s younger, slightly thinner, twin to an actual cross between both of his parents.  It struck everyone present that the obvious purpose of the glamour had been to erase traces of Dudley’s mother and her family in his physical appearance. 

The second thing that happened was Dudley was transferred to the Janus Thickery Ward.  He would need to be there until the obscurus settled.  The standard time frame for Dudley’s case was between eight and twelve weeks.  Iris would have to stay with Harry for the duration of Dudley’s visit.  Though this was expected, Dudley looked like someone like someone had cancelled Christmas.  So, Harry promised to bring her with at least once a week when he visited Ron.  That perked him up a bit, but not very much.  They didn’t linger too much after that.  It was midnight, and everyone needed to get to bed.  McGonagall went directly back to Hogwarts after forcing Remus to fire call later that morning.  Draco accompanied them back to Andromeda’s house.  The Slytherin wasn’t willing to wait until later. 

They arrived back at the house.  Draco put Iris in with Teddy for the night.  Harry figured ten days sharing a crib wouldn’t harm them.  Harry took Dudley’s backpack and summoned all of Iris’ things.  He put them in his room.  The small nursery didn’t have enough space for all of Teddy’s and Iris’ things, but Harry didn’t mind.  The next thing he took out was his mother’s shrunken trunk.  He brought that downstairs to the living room. Remus and Draco were already in there.  Harry laid the trunk on the floor and unshrunk it.  He looked around at Remus and Draco before he opened it. 

Opening his mother’s trunk was somewhat anticlimactic.  Harry wasn’t sure what he had expected, but he must’ve expected something more than slightly squeaky hinges as the trunk opened.  Inside was an envelope addressed to Dudley.  Harry handed it to Remus to make sure they could open it.  They had obtained Dudley’s permission to go through this trunk and its contents, but magic could be tricky.  Harry poked around the trunk a bit.  He felt a bit of guilt over the relief he felt at the fact that there wasn’t anything overly personal in the trunk.  It was mostly just school books and supplies.  His mother’s potions set looked brand new.  The books were clearly well read, but kept in near perfect condition.  Harry grinned at a few that were covered in muggle paper bags and then decorated in what he assumed was his mother’s hand.  There were a few Chocolate Frog Cards scattered on the bottom.  Harry almost lost it when he saw Dumbledore’s card amongst them.  Instead, he closed the trunk and shrank it back down to travel size.  Then he sat next to Remus on the sofa.  Draco had taken up one of the big comfy arm chairs close to the fire.  Andromeda bid them goodnight almost immediately after their return; like McGonagall, she did not have a problem waiting until morning to hear what was in Lily’s trunk.

“Harry, I think we can open this letter.  If you want to hear what’s in it that is,” Remus offered.

“I won’t be able to sleep until I’ve heard it,” Harry replied earnestly.  “But, read through it first.  I don’t know if I’m ready for any deep dark secrets.

“I don’t think it’ll be that bad.  Are you sure you don’t want to read it,” Remus asked him uncertainly.

“You knew her better than I did,” Harry said hollowly.  “There’s nothing in that letter that I need to know.  I’ve had words with my mother.  I’m alive because of her.  She helped me before I went to face old snake-face.  I can wait another few minutes for you to solve your mystery.  You seem certain that my mother is the key to this.” 

Remus didn’t say anything in reply.  He just opened the envelope and read the letter it contained. He read and reread it twice. Then he sighed.  Harry watched Remus reading his dead friend’s explanation of the things that happened.  Remus looked utterly wrecked.  Harry reached out grabbed his hand to try and offer some support. Remus squeezed it in acknowledgement.

“Lily was always sneakier than we gave her credit for,” Remus tried to cheer himself with some small humor.  “I should have known something was strange when she asked me about rituals to bind magic.  Here, Harry, you should read it.”  Remus handed him the letter then.  Harry took a deep breath then before looking at it.  His mother’s handwriting was neat and tidy, almost perfect.  Harry ran his fingers along it before reading it.

_My Dearest Nephew Dudley,_

_I have charmed this trunk to come to you once you receive your Hogwarts letter and my magic is undone.  It is my sincerest hope that I will get to see you again soon.  I set this plan into motion when you were a small child; when the wizarding world held a dark and terrible threat. This threat will have me; my husband, James; and son, Harry in hiding for an undetermined length of time.  Before we disappear, I had to do what I could for you.  I hope my actions have kept and will continue to keep you safe._

_A few weeks ago, I quietly visited my sister, your mum.  I wanted to say a quiet goodbye to her before I went into hiding with my husband and son.  When I arrived at your home, I saw you and I worried.  I watched as you unconsciously levitated one of your toys closer to yourself.  My sister witnessed your magic with a terrified expression on her face.  Then, her expression turned terrifying as she reprimanded you for using magic.  I love my sister, but I am well aware of how she and her husband feel about magic.   Your father fears it.  Your mother fears it and envies those with it in equal measure.  This has bred contempt in them both.  I worry most about your father’s reactions.  I know that deep down my sister loves you more than she hates magic._

_I decided to do what I could to help you.  My first instinct was to grab you and run.  However, I just couldn’t.  It felt wrong to take a babe from its mum in the first place.  Then, the more I thought about it the more I realized that it was just a terrible idea.  My little family has made priority number one on a dark wizard’s hit list.  In the best case scenario, my family and I are in hiding for an unknown length of time until he is defeated.  At worst, he wins and you will be killed because you have two non-magical parents.  I can’t take you with me to put you in more danger.  It’s bad enough that my Harry is involved with this nonsense.  I’ve thought about handing him over to my parents, or even just stashing him away somewhere until it was safe.  However, I’m afraid that would leave him more vulnerable.  So, I knew I couldn’t bring you into this.  I hope that my solution will work._

_It took some doing, but I finally found a ritual that would bind your powers effectively.  I used my blood to set two conditions that would unseal your magic.  The first way it can be removed is by receipt of your school letter.  The second is the complete defeat of the dark wizard we currently face.  There is a third way to remove my magic.  It would take an incredible amount of power, but you may be able to remove it yourself if you feel an extreme need to use magic.  This would be like overthrowing the ritual.  Such a feat would be most impressive, because I used an ancient blood ritual to suppress your magic.  Binding your magic like this is risky.  It has been known to cause trouble; but since I doubt you’ll know about magic until the spell lifts, I’m counting on the probability that my sister will be a good mother to you at least until then.  As an insurance policy, I’ve changed your looks a bit.  I was worried your red hair and Evan’s green eyes would cause contention._

_Whenever you find this letter, I hope that you try to find me and my family.  I hope that I am there to see my son and nephew off. However, if I’m unable to meet you; I hope you find Harry.  I know that if James and I don’t make it through Harry will.  I won’t allow any other outcome.  I’m sure if I can’t help you Harry’s godfather, Sirius Black, and our friends, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, will.  If this is the case, I want you and Harry to look after each other.  I love you both very much._

_Hoping to see you soon after you’ve read this letter._

_All my love,_

_Aunt Lily_

There was a small amount of discussion after that.  Draco asking some questions here and there.  Remus answered them as best as he could.  Harry sat there curled into Remus’ side just listening.  He felt raw and thoroughly exhausted.  It felt like days since he was with Hermione in Diagon Alley, not hours.  At some point, Harry must have drifted off because he was awakened by soft crack of Draco’s apparition.  Before he could open his eyes, Remus had scooped him up and was carrying him to his bedroom.  Harry felt his back gently hit the mattress.  Then he had no idea what compelled him to do it, but he reached out and grabbed Remus robes and held them.  Remus made a move to loosen his grip, but Harry wouldn’t let him.

“Stay,” Harry pleaded sleepily.  He heard Remus sigh as his bed dipped.  He turned on his side to accommodate the extra body in his bed.  He felt Remus throw an arm around him and draw him close.

“Just for a minute,” Harry heard him whisper gruffly in his ear. 

For the first time in weeks, Harry’s sleep was dreamless.  He woke up surrounded by a comfortable warm feeling he hadn’t felt since Fred was alive.  Harry let himself snuggle in closer to Remus.  Instinctively, Remus pulled Harry closer to his body.  He wondered if he might fall back to sleep.  Being cuddled up in Remus' arms felt wonderful.  Just as Harry was about to drift off, Remus stirred again.  This time he woke up.  He proceeded to gently disentangled himself from Harry and move out of bed.  However, Harry felt a hand run through his hair before Remus left.

……

Harry was pulled from his memories by Remus moving to put Iris back in her crib.  She was soundly asleep now, and the storm had quieted to a steady rain.  Remus grinned at him for just a moment.  Harry could tell he was exhausted.

“You really should try to get some sleep, Moons.”

“I’ll try, but at least my study has been getting use this way.  Thanks for letting me steal the room.  It’s nice to have a place to put my creatures.  You should try and get some sleep too.  Still having those strange dreams about your mystery man,” Remus asked.  Harry blushed a bit.

“Yeah, I still have them practically every night.  I feel like I know him from somewhere.  I just can’t seem to place him.”

“You know, dreams are usually the result of your subconscious trying to tell you something,” Harry interrupted him with a sarcastic huff.  They were in the darkened hallway now. 

“Yeah, real mystery what my subconscious is trying to tell me... Pretty sure it’s screaming that a year long dry spell will give you sex dreams,” Harry said sarcastically.

“Well, aren’t we feeling clever tonight?  I guess you don’t want my help…” They were outside Harry’s door then.  Harry was grateful for the poor lighting then.  He was fairly certain he was blushing because thoughts of waking up next to Remus flashed in his head again.

“Oh, come on, Moony,” Harry whined.  “It’s late.  Just give me your world class advice so I can be off to dreamland with my very attractive dream man.”

“Maybe I should just stand here smirking and making pointless conversation.  Ruin your plans with dream man.  Maybe dragging you into the misery of my insomnia is far more tempting than helping you now,” Remus grinned. 

“Do you want me to stay up with you,” Harry asked somewhat seriously.  He hadn’t been joking earlier when he said he’d do what he could to help. 

“That won’t be necessary,” Remus said a small shift in his posture at the reminder of his furry problem.  “I won’t keep you from your rest.  You’ll need it for taking care of things during the moon.  I was going to suggest that you pay attention to the peripheral of the dream.  Your subconscious is trying to help you figure things out.  If you’re not able to figure it out by looking at dream man, then the other parts of the dream can help you.  If they don’t, then maybe Mr. Perfect only exists in your dreams.”  Harry considered his suggestion for a moment.

“Couldn’t hurt to give it a try I suppose,” all of a sudden Harry had to fight the impulse to ask him to stay again.  He shook the thought away.  “Well, I guess this is goodnight.  I was hoping to leave around ten thirty tomorrow morning.”

“That should be fine.  Goodnight, Harry,” Remus said.

“Goodnight, Moons,” Harry returned.  Then he entered his bedroom and fell into his over large bed.  He tossed and turned for a minute before succumbing to sleep for the second time that night.

That morning he woke with a start.  The answer dawned on him as the sun rose in the sky.  The grindylow tank and the tea set were the two clues he had been missing.  It was strange because the minute he knew where he was mystery man morphed and shifted into a familiar form.  Remus.


	7. Halloween Pt. 2:  The Wolf Visits the Grave

The smell of bacon carried a magic of its own.  No matter how far from the kitchen, it could weave through the house and waken the sleepiest of souls.  Grimmauld was no exception.  Harry could smell someone, either the house elves or Remus, cooking up the salty strips of meat from his bedroom.  His stomach gave a loud gurgle and it was almost enough to launch him from his bed.  Only the weight of his pure embarrassment over his latest realization kept him hiding under his covers.  He groaned.  He really hoped that he could just avoid the whole thing.

Avoiding the embarrassment was a possibility.  It wasn’t as if he _had_ to tell Remus the truth.  He could just say he’d figured out the mystery and leave it at that.  Or, he could say nothing at all.  If Harry had learned anything about the man over the years, it was that he usually did not pry too far into these matters.  Unfortunately, Harry knew all of those things would not help him much.  Harry lacked the ability to hide his emotions.  His disastrous attempts at occlumency were proof positive of that.  He was no stoic.  Harry was pretty sure that the moment he looked at that damned werewolf his face would give him away.  Harry sighed as he thought through all of his options.  He tried to just ignore everything, but the tantalizing scent of breakfast spurred him into action. 

“This is stupid.  People have weird dreams all the time.  This is no different.  I’ll just go down and eat.  Then we’ll all go off to visit my parents’ graves and about our day like normal.  It’s just Remus,” Harry grumbled to no one as he disentangled himself from his covers.  He threw on his slippers and robe then exited the room. 

He followed his nose to the kitchen.  He paused just moment at the door.  It seemed like only yesterday that Ginny was throwing dung bombs against it while the Order was meeting. It stung him momentarily, and he suddenly felt like he’d aged twenty years since that day instead of three.  Yet, life persisted.  He could hear it shrieking and giggling at something just beyond the door.  Harry put away his nerves about facing Remus and the bittersweet feeling that had just washed over him.  He grinned as he opened the door.

It was louder in the kitchen than Harry had originally presumed.  There were two babes in high chairs squealing and giggling in glee as a werewolf did a silly dance for them to the song “Monster Mash.”  One of the three house elves Harry had hired from a shelter was frying eggs in bacon fat as Moony attempted to entertain and feed the squirming babies.  The house elves were a smart addition.  Many had been displaced because of the war.  Harry had hired three, but retained Kreacher.  Kreacher was cantankerous as ever, and was more than a little annoyed at the changes Harry had made to Grimmauld Place over the summer.  So, to help keep the house he needed some help. 

“Master Harry, please sit down and have some breakfast,” Sparkles, the elf at the stove, said.  This caused everyone’s attention to shift to the newcomer.  Remus stopped his whacky dance mid-wiggle and went tomato red instantly.  Teddy waved at him.  Iris gave him a shy smile. 

“Thank you, Sparkles.  I appreciate your good work.  However, please call me Harry,” he replied as he sat down at the table.  His food followed him shortly after.  Harry immediately began to eat his breakfast.  He chanced a glance at his housemate.  Remus had gone back to the breakfast and a show routine.  Harry had to force his gaze back to his plate.  Watching the planes of Remus’ body as he did his ridiculous little dance was not helping the “ignore it” plan.  He felt his face color a bit.  Perhaps a bit of mischief could help him out.

Harry grinned as an idea occurred to him.  He pointed his wand at the upgraded wizard radio.  Harry thought of the song he was wanted and flicked his wrist.  “Werewolves of London” began to play instantly.  Remus froze and grimaced. Harry began to chuckle, and made a mental note to thank George for figuring out how to get muggle music to play from wizard radios on command. 

“Very funny, Harry,” Remus said.

“Well, Moons, I figured if you were going to go about dancing through breakfast; then the music should fit the dancer,” Harry grinned.

“Unfortunately for whatever prank you planned, I happen to love this song.  Soho is lovely, and howling to this music is fun,” he proceeded to demonstrate this last point by howling along to the music.  This made Harry laugh a bit harder.  Though, he spent the rest of the song and few minutes after eating his breakfast.  When he was finished, one look at the children told Harry they needed to be bathed before they left the house. 

“Teddy, my boy, how on earth did you manage to get pureed carrots in your ears,” Harry asked as he looked his godson over.  Teddy replied by shifting his appearance to where his hair looked exactly like Harry’s.  Harry sighed, “I feel like you’re making fun of me, kid.  Of course with your father being who he is, I shouldn’t be surprised.  A bit of advice, my hair is my worst feature.  Copy my eyes.”  Iris giggled at their little conversation.  Harry turned to her.

“You don’t have room to giggle, little cousin.  You seem to have decided to wash your hair with your carrots.  Is this one of those beauty treatments Hermione keeps droning on about,” Harry asked teasingly.  Iris responded with a shy smile.  Harry shook his head then, with a silent thanks to Merlin, flicked his wrist and banished most of the mess.  They still needed baths, but at least he and Remus wouldn’t get messy handling them. 

“Sorry about that,” Remus said sheepishly.  “I don’t know how you keep them so clean when you feed them.  So, what are you up to this morning? We have a solid two and a half hours before you wanted to… er…,” Remus paused uncomfortably for a moment.  He seemed unable to say “visit your parents’ graves.” 

“Leave,” Harry supplied helpfully.  He chanced looking Remus full in the face. Remus looked tired and upset now that he wasn’t trying to entertain the babies.  Harry didn’t comment on it, though.  With the moon coming and what this day meant to Remus, being tired and upset was not unusual.  Besides, drawing attention to it would just lead them into one of their little spats over nothing, and today they didn’t really have the time. 

“Yes, I know you said yesterday you wanted to look over the revised bill.  I suppose you want to do that before we leave… I can make sure these two are cleaned up and out of your hair,” Remus offered. 

“I would appreciate it.  I probably won’t feel up to it if I put it off for tonight.  Besides, I really need to read through everything before Hermione storms the wards,” Harry replied.  Harry had received the newest draft of the Magical Creature Reform bill from Hermione last night just after supper.  Harry, Draco, and Neville were going to propose the reforms to the Wizengamot in January.  All four of them were working on the bill, but at times it was slow going.  Neville and Hermione were at Hogwarts and had full student responsibilities.  Even with McGonagall’s concessions for the eighth years, it was not always easy for them to come and go.  Harry and Draco had it better.  Remus tutored them both on a very flexible schedule.  So, their NEWT preparation didn’t conflict with their Wizengamot duties. 

“I like to do what I can before the moon,” Remus shrugged off his gratitude. 

“Are you sure you’re alright, Alpha?  I can read it over later if you need my help,” Harry said with a devilish smirk, though the offer was real.  Remus made a face.

“I think you and I need a new rule.  If I’m not allowed to call you Savior, Chosen One, or Man-Who-Conquered; then you are not allowed to call me alpha.  Keep it up and you might just bring out my wolfish side,” Remus grinned back.  He really hated to be called alpha, but the name sort of fit him now. Remus had become something of the new figurehead for the werewolves in this area of the world.  Hermione often consulted him on resources for the reform bill and changes he thought were needed.  He counseled McGonagall on managing all the newly infected students.  Furthermore, Remus was still holding meetings in Hogsmeade several times a month, just not every Monday.  At the meetings, Remus would make sure everyone had access to wolfsbane for the coming moon and then he’d do what he could to counsel them. 

“That seems fair, Moony,” Harry choked out.  Remus was suddenly very close to him causing Harry’s pulse to race.  The look in Remus’ eyes had Harry’s mind instantly remembering his dream lover version of the werewolf.  “However, I make no promises to hold George to the same standard.  He knows how much it bothers you.  So, he’s probably going to never stop.”  Harry tried to distract himself with humor. 

“Are you alright, Harry,” Remus asked in a voice that caused Harry to shiver involuntarily.  “You seem on edge today.”

“I’m fine,” Harry squeaked then winced at the sound of his voice.  “Just… er… you know… trying to focus on the day ahead.  I’m going to the library to read Hermione’s new draft.  Thanks for handling the kids.  I’ll be ready to go at ten-fifteen.”  Harry rushed that all out and then ran from the kitchen.

……

The time passed quickly.  The new draft looked good as far as Harry could tell.  Harry, Draco, and Neville were going to go over it again after the full moon.  Reading through everything had eaten a large chunk of the time between breakfast and he had just enough time to shower and dress before it was time to leave.  As he was dressing, Remus stopped outside his room and confirmed their plans one last time for the day. They were going to Godric’s Hollow first, then off to St. Mungo’s, and finally they were going to visit George and Percy in Diagon Alley.  Harry applied his light glamour before he left his room.  Harry met Remus and the children in the entrance hall.  Remus immediately handed him a freshly laundered lump that turned out to be a heavily dressed Iris, her diaper bag, and the sling thing they used when they were out with the children.  He went to work situating her in the sling which took some doing due to her being bundled against the cool October air.  When he was finished, they apparated straight to Godric’s Hollow. 

They arrived in the center of town near the statue of Harry’s parents.  Harry was surprised at how busy the town appeared.  When he was here with Hermione during their hunt, the town had felt almost deserted.  Granted, they had been there in the middle of the night during winter, but this was still somewhat shocking.  There were many small children running about in masks and costumes.  The shops that Harry hadn’t noticed before were bustling with witches and wizards dressed in a mixture of muggle clothes and robes making various purchases.  It felt a bit unreal.  Just under a year ago, this had felt like a ghost town.  To Harry, it was a strange seeing this place so lively.  In his head, it was so staunchly associated with death that the lively nature of the crowd was surreal. 

Harry looked at Remus and Teddy.  Teddy seemed happy as clam and was watching the crowd with interest.  Every so often he’d wave at a passing person.  His hair was that deep blue color that seemed to indicate he was in deep thought.  Remus, though, seemed to be increasingly looking out of sorts.  One glance at the statue cleared up why.  It was littered with flowers, notes, balloons, some small stuffed toys, and there were several everlasting fireworks going off around it.  It had officially become a shrine. The overall effect was garish and a bit gaudy, but touching in a way.  It was nice to see his parents remembered.  Harry reached out and grabbed Remus’ hand.  They stood there and watched for a few minutes.  Every so often people would come and add to the pile.  When Harry heard a mother telling her children about the wonderful Potters and the Man-Who-Conquered, Harry tugged at Remus’ hand and started to walk towards the graveyard. 

“Are you alright, Moony,” Harry questioned quietly, lightly squeezing the hand he held.  It was close enough to the full moon that Harry probably could have whispered and Remus would have heard it.  Harry was thankful that the contact between them was not awkward.  Then again, his current concern for Remus was winning over any other emotions he’d been feeling earlier.  Remus squeezed his hand before he answered.

“I’ve never been here.  When you were first born, your parents were still living in the old Potter manor.  They didn’t move here until they were forced into hiding.  Around that same time, I had to leave on several missions for Dumbledore.  I barely saw them outside of Order meetings after you were born.  I’ve been avoiding this place for seventeen years.”  Remus looked like he wasn’t quite all there at the moment.  He was twenty years in the past.  Harry decided a change of topic was in order as they wandered towards the outskirts of the town.

“I didn’t know about the manor.  I always figured that my parents lived here the whole time.  Aren’t family manors heavily warded?  Why did they move here,” Harry couldn’t quite keep his voice calm.  Family manors were notorious for being the magical equivalent to a fortified fort; they were typically heavily warded.  It would have taken a lot for anyone to break through them.  It really seemed like a tactical blunder to leave them when you were at the top of a dark wizard’s hit list.  Harry couldn’t help but think things would have turned out better had they stayed put.

“Calm down, Harry,” Remus said.  Harry hadn’t realized that he’d been squeezing the poor man’s hand in his minor panic.  “You’re right about the wards, but manors that belong to old wizarding families tend to be well known.  Potter Manor in Devon was a poorly kept secret at the time.  Everyone knew of it.  Think of it like the Malfoy estate in Wiltshire.  Like the Malfoy Manor, it was used as both a showplace and a home.  Hell, pre-Dark Lord, the Potters would host massive parties with little thought to the guest list.  When Lucius Malfoy was a child, he was probably there several times along with many other future Death Eaters.  Remember, there’s only so much magic can do.  Too many people knew about it to suddenly make it unknown magically.    Grimmauld is an exception, not the rule.  Few knew about it because of Walburga’s paranoia.  So, secret keeping worked for it.  Additionally, Voldemort was infamous for toppling even the strongest wards.  Since it couldn’t be kept a secret and how often unbreakable wards were broken, your parents decided to move.  The wards weren’t as good, but it was actually a secret.  That being said, we should go to Potter Manor and check it out one day.  I imagine you’ll tire of hiding in Grimmauld all the time and need a break.  It’s a beautiful place; it’d be a great vacation spot.”

Harry looked to his feet as he absorbed Remus’ explanation then nodded.  A visit to the Potter Manor seemed like a decent idea, though he preferred the wards around Grimmauld for now.  When he looked up, the graveyard entrance loomed in front of them.  It suddenly occurred to Harry that he’d pretty much walked hand in hand with Remus through the entire town.  He felt his face color, but he didn’t take his hand back.  If it wasn’t bothering Remus, he wasn’t going to let it bother him.  He looked down at Iris then.  She’d been so quiet since they’d left Grimmauld.  She was fast asleep in her sling. Harry used his free hand to run his fingers through her hair and pat her back.  They walked through the gates and Harry led them towards his parents’ graves.  Every step closer Remus’ grip seemed to tighten.

“Relax, Moons, it’s not like they’re going to pop out of their graves and shout at us for not visiting sooner… At least they didn’t last time,” Harry tried to comfort him.  He rubbed his thumb over Remus’ hand in an attempt to comfort him.  Remus just gave him a weak smile. 

“It is Halloween, and according to you weird stuff happens to you on this day.  If we get there and there is guilt tripping from the dead, I will hold you personally accountable,” Remus tried to joke back, but anyone could tell how truly guilty he felt. 

“If that happens, just remember you have a Teddy shield.  I doubt my parents were the type to attack a person carrying a baby.”

“No, they weren’t.  I should have visited before this, though,” Remus said despondently.

“You know, I don’t think they’d really care.  Not only would they have understood why it was hard for you to visit, but I don’t think things like graves and funerals are for the benefit of the dead.  They exist for the living.  I wanted to come here because I never had a chance to come and really pay my respects… and to grieve a bit.  I wanted to last year, but Hermione didn’t really let me dawdle.  She was right to stay focused on the hunt, but I wish I could have taken a moment.  That’s why I wanted to come here today.  If you don’t get comfort or anything from visiting their graves and you don’t like to be here, then I think it’s alright not to come.  I’m glad you’re here with me now, though,” Harry said as he snuggled Iris a bit closer to him with his free hand.  Her warmth and weight were comforting against his chest, much like the hand he held.  They were almost at graves now.  Just a few more rows to the right and they’d be there. 

“I needed to come here today.  It’s a way of ending a long chapter of my life.  What’s the word for it again? … er… closure sounds about right, doesn’t it?”

“’Closure’ sounds appropriate.  The moon must really be taking its toll if you’re unable to come up with the right word.  Are you sure you’re alright, Moony,” Harry asked as they arrived at the graves.  Harry was relieved to see that the shrine like behavior was applied only to the statue in town.  He had been mildly worried that they would not be able to get close due to crowds or the various objects left by people like a the statue.  However, the gravestones stood there just like they had when he’d seen them last.  Some flowers had been placed there by someone, but for the most part the graves stood silent and dignified. 

“I’m better than I would be if I were alone,” Remus said softly.  He dropped Harry’s hand then, and Harry immediately missed the warmth.  However, it was not without purpose.  Remus took out his wand and went about cleaning off the headstones and making them look brand new.  Then he opened his coat and produced some flowers from his inner pockets.  He divided them in half and placed them at each headstone.  The werewolf took a step back and admired his handiwork.  “Well, it’s not perfect, but it’ll do.”

“It’s wonderful,” Harry said a bit tearfully.  Something about the care Remus had taken of his parents’ graves had touched him.  Remus’ arm reached out and made a move as if to hold hands again, but instead Remus wrapped it around Harry’s waist.  The last time Remus had consciously held him like this was Fred’s funeral.  Harry had welcomed the comfort then.  Now, though, Harry was fairly certain that it was Remus’ way of comforting himself.  They stood there in silence for a few moments.  Harry let himself snuggle into Remus a bit as a few wayward tears escaped from his eyes.  They stood there having silent conversations with the dead for a few minutes; snuggled into each other; both of them giving and gaining comfort from each other. 

“We should get a move on.  I’m sure Dudley is anxious to see his daughter,” Remus broke the silence.

“I’m sure he is.  Do you want to see the house before we go,” Harry asked nervously.  He wasn’t sure he wanted to revisit the ruin today.  The graves may have avoided the crowds and litter, but Harry doubted the house would be so lucky.  He understood that most of the people meant well, but couldn’t help feel like they were making one of the worst days of his life a spectacle.  However, he was not the only person here today and Remus had never been there.  If it would help him get his closure, then Harry would tough it out.

“No,” Remus replied firmly.  “I know it’s a ruin.  It’s one thing to visit the graves.  It’s another to visit the site.  I understand why it was preserved. To the world, it’s where the first defeat of Voldemort happened.  For me, it’s the place two of my best friends were murdered and you were attacked.  I can’t take my family to a place I know is… was dangerous.  I’d probably go feral trying to protect all of you.”  Harry blushed a bit at the insinuation that he was part of Remus’ family.  Thanks to his own perverted dreams, visions of himself as the younger of the two fathers in their family scenario flashed before his mind.  However, the thoughts were quickly followed by reality.  If Remus thought of him as family, he probably didn’t think of him that way.    

“I understand.  I wouldn’t force you to go.  I saw it last time I was here.  You’re not missing much.  Now that you pointed it out, I don’t think I’d feel comfortable taking the babes with me to see it.  There is a feeling of violation and danger there,” Harry said.  “To St. Mungo’s then?”

“To St. Mungo’s.”

……

Harry had become well known on the Janus Thickery Ward.  Even his usual glamour did not fool the hospital staff.  Thankfully, all St. Mungo’s personnel signed off on a very binding confidentiality agreement when they were employed by the hospital.  So, Harry could come and go without someone leaking his whereabouts to anyone.  However, the same could not be said for the patients.  They were not under the same restrictions as the St. Mungo’s staff.  So, Harry still tried to exercise caution with his appearance when he visited.  His glamour would usually remain until he got to Dudley’s room.  He’d been fortunate the past few weeks that no one had figured out who Dudley was in relation to him.  Once they did, all hell would probably break loose.  However, that was a problem for later.  This was just another day visiting his friends and family. 

Harry and Remus apparated straight to the ward from Godric’s Hollow.  Remus signed them in while Harry attended to the now fussing babes.  After a quick round of diaper changing, they proceeded directly into Dudley’s room.  Remus knocked on the door to Dudley’s room.  They were greeted by the pale blond hair that was the Malfoy signature. 

“Draco, what are you doing here,” Harry asked a bit surprised.

“Relax, Harry.  I was here on business and decided to stop in for a visit.  I figured your cousin needed some company that could actually converse with him.  Though, he seems to have found a way of keeping himself occupied with your Weasel,” Draco replied.  Harry still couldn’t quite wrap his mind around the honest friendship that had arisen between Draco and Dudley.  It wasn’t surprising on one hand.  They had a lot in common with the way they grew up, spoiled.  They also had this motivation to be redeemed for past mistakes.  Yet, Dudley was every bit as muggle-born as Hermione.  It was a testament to how much things had changed that Draco Malfoy was currently very good friends with someone he’d have once called a mudblood. 

“Yeah, he seems to have gotten Ron to play chess again,” Harry said as he and Remus entered the room.  The minute they entered, Iris squealed in delight and held her arms out towards her father.  Dudley, who was in the middle of a wizard’s chess game with Ron, turned from the board, smiled, and reached out for his daughter.  Harry passed her off immediately.  There was some bustling for a moment as they settled in the small hospital room.  Dudley abandoned the chess game, but his place was taken up by Remus. Harry settled on a small stool in the corner with Teddy.  Draco and Dudley were on Dudley’s bed with Iris. 

“Not to toot my own horn, but I also got Neville’s parents to dress themselves unassisted,” Dudley bragged.  Dudley had done quite well with his treatment.  In fact, he had done so well that he had taken to visiting some of the other patients in the ward during his down time.  Ron, Frank Longbottom, and Alice Longbottom were his favorite people to visit with.  Since he had taken a muggle psychology course for college credit before his life turned pear shape, he had employed some small measures from his class to help the healers.  Harry was quite impressed with his efforts.

“I wonder if there is a way to rehab all these curse patients,” Dudley mused.  “I don’t know if they’ll ever get back to one hundred percent, but maybe they can get to a point where they don’t need constant supervision.”

“So, are you thinking of becoming a healer then,” Harry asked.

“I don’t know.  It’s not like it wouldn’t be a good career, and mum wanted me to become a doctor before... _Vernon_ ,” Dudley spat out his father’s name.  “Well… He wanted me to follow him into business.  I don’t know what I should do now.  I mean I don’t even know what I would be talented at.  All these doctors… er… healers use a bunch of that one type of magic, charms I think.  I could be complete pants at charms.  I don’t know what my magical talent is, or if I even have one.”

“Your Aunt Lilly was exceptional at charms.  She used to help me out with them all the time.  It was actually her charm work got her invited into the Slug Club… and… Ron just beat me,” Remus said from the chessboard. 

“You’ll find something.  Even Longbottom has a flair for herbology.  You have at least as much talent as Longbottom,” Draco drawled as he pat Iris’ back and she cooed at him from her father’s arms. 

“Awe shucks, who needs supportive friends when you can have bitchy blondes,” Dudley groused at him good humoredly.

“Careful there, obscurus, you don’t want your daughter’s first words to be something foul,” Draco tutted through his trademark smirk.  Harry rolled his eyes at them then looked down at Teddy.  His godson appeared to be very interested in his buttons.  For some reason, his godson’s efforts to figure out his buttons and ability to turn anything into a toy always made him grin.

For a while, they all chatted with each other.  Teddy and Iris each had a bottle.  Teddy fell asleep soon after eating, but Iris merely quieted. Remus and Ron played another game of chess; Remus lost.  After their second game, Remus walked Ron back to his room and went to check that there weren’t any new werewolves that needed help.  A few minutes after they left, there was a knock on Dudley’s door.

“Come in,” Dudley said.  The door opened and Dudley’s healer walked in. Healer Helen Quimby exuded an air of confidence and superiority wherever she went.  She was the best mind healer St. Mungo’s had and she knew it.

“Hello, Dudley, I see you have your family visiting.  Mr. Malfoy, I wasn’t aware you and Mr. Dursley were acquainted,” the healer said.   

“Of course, we are acquainted.  Harry and I have become friends.  Is it so strange that I would know his cousin,” Draco sneered at her. 

“No, not at all,” she said adjusting her tone.  Annoying either a Malfoy or a Potter could have dangerous consequences for her career.  “I just wasn’t aware.” She finished quite a bit more humbly than she began.  Harry had didn’t know whether he wanted to laugh at how quickly Draco had cowed her, or scowl at Draco for the attitude.  She was not being intentionally rude.  Besides, if anyone was entitled to a bit of arrogance, Harry supposed the top mind healer at St. Mungo’s was a good candidate. 

“What do you need, Healer Quimby?  I wasn’t aware that I had anymore treatments for the afternoon,” Dudley questioned.

“Oh, it’s nothing like that.  Actually, I’ve come with good news.  You’re doing well, and I wish to discharge you.  I was thinking Monday, but if your family is willing; then I would be willing to release you today,” she explained.

“Really,” Dudley asked unable to keep the excitement out of his voice.  “I can leave?”

“Yes, you really adapted well to everything.  You’ll need to come in for sessions weekly.  However, I can’t see any reason for you to have to stay here.  You’ll need a wand next.  That’ll be the last real step towards controlling your magic.  You’ll need one anyway to start your studies.  However, the rest of your treatment is about controlling your temper.  Between your current progress and the fact that you won’t be returning to your old environment, I’m not worried about your emotions enough to keep you here.  Do you have a place to stay if I release you today?”

“He has a room ready at my house,” Harry said when Dudley looked a little stricken at the reminder of his parents.  Harry briefly thought of letting Draco unleash his sneer on her again.  Her bedside manner could be improved a bit. 

“Oh, in that case, whenever you’re ready feel free to pack up.  I’ll have one of the staff drop off the discharge papers.  I’ll see you again sometime next week,” Healer Quimby said as she made her retreat.  She seemed a bit wary.  Perhaps, she realized she’d managed to insult two-thirds of her adult audience in the room. 

Things proceeded immediately after that.  Harry and Draco packed Dudley’s belongings into his backpack.  He didn’t have much to pack, but enough that some magical intervention was appreciated.  Remus had forced Dudley to begin studying during his downtime.  Every book Harry and Draco had used during their first three years at Hogwarts could be found on the small bookshelf in the corner of the room.  There were also a few wizard photos that needed to be packed away.  The moving pictures captivated Dudley and he had insisted on pictures of his family and new friends for his room.  The last thing they packed was his clothes.  Thankfully, most of his wardrobe was hanging in a guest room at Grimmauld.  However, Dudley had needed several outfits to use during his stay.  As soon as they were packed, Remus came back with a staff member on his tails.  They settled Dudley’s discharge then left for the floo area.  On their way out, they ran into Healer Quimby who further annoyed Harry by flirting shamelessly with Remus.  Harry must have made a face because Draco smirked at him before whispering in his ear:

“You might want to look after you face, Harry.  You look quite green suddenly.”

Harry responded by taking Remus by the hand; dragging him towards the floo; and saying, “Sorry, Healer Quimby, but we really must be going.  I’m sure Ollivander’s will be closing early today, and I believe you said it was imperative that Dudley get his wand.  Thank you for helping my cousin.  He’ll be here for his next appointment.”

He thrust some powder into the floo and called out for Diagon Alley.

……

Harry tumbled out of the floo into the Leaky Cauldron and was almost tackled by Remus, who was spit out a moment after him.  Remus regained his balance by wrapping his arms around Harry.  It was a good thing that he did.  Harry had Teddy in his sling and falling forward would’ve put the babe at the bottom of a three person pile-up. 

“Sorry,” Harry heard Remus mutter from behind him. 

“It’s fine, Moony.  Good news, we didn’t crush Teddy,” Harry said, knowing his face was reddening from the sudden closeness. 

“Good news indeed,” Remus agreed.  Harry could feel his nose tickling through his hair as if Remus was trying to breathe him in.  The urge to find out if the Remus in reality was anything like the Remus from his dreams returned full force.  They stayed like that for a beat before separating into more appropriate poses.  Draco, who had insisted upon coming along, caught Harry’s eye meaningfully.  Harry tried to give a noncommittal shrug to deflect conversation. 

“So, Harry, where are we off to first? Ollivander’s,” Draco asked.

“What’s an Ollivander’s,” Dudley piped in.

“Ollivander’s is a wand shop, and no.  It’s not our first stop.  I think our first stop will be Gringotts, the bank.  Dudley you need to sign off on an account my mum left you. Then you’ll be able to withdraw your own money for shopping today.  I think Ollivander’s, maybe Madame Malkin’s, and George’s shop should be our destinations today.  We’ll need to get to Slugs and Jiggers for potions ingredients eventually, but between Draco, Remus, and myself you should be fine for a while.  The cauldron set in my mum’s trunk is in excellent condition; so, you won’t need any of that.”

“Must we go into the lair of the redheaded devil,” Draco drawled as if stepping into George’s shop would cause him physical pain.

“You know, Draco, you don’t have to come with us. You are free to leave if you wish.  Besides, I thought you liked the Weasely’s now,” Harry questioned as they made their way towards the entrance into the alley. 

“Like is a strong word,” Draco said as he pulled out his wand and tapped the correct brick.  Their conversation paused for a moment as Dudley’s jaw dropped at the brick wall revealing the entrance into Diagon Alley.  However, it resumed quickly as they began the walk towards Gringotts.  “No longer loath would be a more accurate description of my feelings towards the Weasely family.  George is a bit much with all the pranks.  The girl, Ginny, is not so bad.  She’s fierce and I can respect that Bat Bogey Hex of hers.  The parents are tolerable if a bit over emotional.  The curse breaker and dragon handler are outrageously attractive for redheads…”

“Oi… Redheads are damned attractive.  Right, Iris,” Dudley interjected.  Iris burbled from her sling something that Harry thought sounded suspiciously like agreement.  Draco chose to ignore him in favor of finishing his thoughts on all members of the Weasely family, though he gave Iris a quick grin before continuing.

“Percy seems on the level, now.  He was horrible when we were in school, though.  As for Ronald, I don’t really have an opinion.  What happened to him was regrettable, and I know I brought much of our past entanglements upon myself.  However, all my memories of him are of a boy that would have celebrated my demise.  I’ve come a long way in a short time, but expecting me to be chummy with the Weasely’s this quickly is asking a lot.” 

Harry shrugged.  He had a point about Ron, but he still didn’t get it.   “I guess I understand.  You just seem to act differently around them.  I supposed you were thawing towards each other.”

“We are, but I doubt it’ll happen overnight.  It’s not like they don’t have good reason to keep their distance.  I think my current attitude stems from the fact that my choice of company is rather limited with Blaise and Greg at school.  No offense to present company meant.  I just am a bit bored without them this year,” Draco sounded a bit hollow towards the end.  Harry felt a rush of compassion for Draco then.  Crabbe and Goyle had been Draco’s friends since day one.  Crabbe was dead.  Goyle was away at school.  Blaise Zabini was actually a decent person from all accounts, and Draco had a friendship with him similar to the friendship Harry shared with Neville.  Draco, perhaps for the first time in his life, was truly alone.  He was the lone Slytherin completely surrounded by Gryffindors for company. 

“From what I know of the Weasely family, they seem very forgiving.  Were you really that bad,” Dudley asked Draco still a bit in awe of everything around him.

“Worse,” Draco replied a bit guiltily. 

“Well, you’re in good company.  I was probably a bigger pain in the rear for Harry than that Voldemort fellow.  Why does everyone flinch when I say Voldemort,” Dudley questioned.

“Because the name was rumored to be taboo,” Draco answered.  “Saying it was said to bring calamity.  Sort of like severe trademark infringement that brought death.  The Dark Lord didn’t take kindly to being called any of his names.  People used to die for such trivialities.  The wizarding community just got in the habit of using long titles to describe him, like You-Know-Who.”

“Dumbledore once said, ‘Fear of the name increases fear of the thing.’  Besides, old snake face is dead.  Say Voldemort all you want,” Harry huffed annoyed.  They were nearly to their destination now.  Dudley looked wide eyed at the goblins at the entrance of the bank, but didn’t say anything.  He broke ahead of them to read the poem on the door.  He looked a bit shaken.

“Do they really mean it?  Is this bank booby trapped,” Dudley asked when the other caught up to him.

“Yes, there are all sorts of things protecting their vaults.  Though, I’m trying to get them to release the dragons into sanctuaries.  I rode one out of here a few months ago after breaking in to steal Hufflepuff’s cup from Bellatrix’s vault,” Harry supplied matter-of-factly.  He almost giggled at Dudley’s expression.  “Don’t worry all is forgiven.  Even though, I did have to pay for reconstructing that wall.”  Dudley merely nodded then entered the bank. 

Their business at Gringotts was taken care of quickly.  Dudley enjoyed the trolley ride to his vault.  He compared it to a rollercoaster ride, which had to be explained to Draco.  He withdrew enough coins to hold him and Iris over for a little while.  After their business with Gringotts was settled, they took off towards Madame Malkin’s.  They were lucky in the sense that the shop was empty upon their arrival; so, Dudley was able to get his measurements taken right away.  Since there wasn’t any rush for his robes, they were going to be sent to him once they were finished.  After that, they walked to Ollivander’s.  When they arrived, Draco left them claiming he had an errand to run and would meet them by George’s shop later.  Most likely it was to avoid Mr. Ollivander, who had been a guest in his parent’s dungeons during the war.   The rest entered the shop, ringing the bell attached to the door on their way in.

The store itself hadn’t changed much.  Wands lined the walls from top to bottom.  The shop was somehow library quiet, though situated off a very busy Diagon Alley.  Dudley looked a bit intimidated by it, and Harry couldn’t blame him.  In Harry’s opinion, picking out a wand was one of the more overwhelming experiences for a wizard.  Not to mention, Mr. Ollivander was a bit frightening in his own way.  The wand maker had a way of looking through a person not at them which his cousin was about to experience. Dudley walked up to the counter and waited a minute.  Mr. Ollivander came out from the back.

“Ah, I see I have a very busy shop.  Mr. Potter, Mr. Lupin, welcome back.  I hope your wands are treating you well, an you them,” Ollivander greeted them in a way that reminded Harry strongly of Luna Lovegood. He had to wonder, though, how Ollivander knew who he was underneath the glamour.

“Relax, Mr. Potter.  I doubt many would know it was you under there.  Unfortunately for your attempts at disguise, there are no deceptions in this shop.  Now, I suspect the young man in front of me is in need of a wand.  I can sense several that may help him.  Mr. Lupin, you may want to consider another wand for yourself as well.  Though I suspect you weren’t expecting a purchase of your own today, it would be quite beneficial to you.  You’re not the same wizard you were when I fitted you.  Mr. Potter, have no worry.  You and your wand will be together for many years.  Not all wizards require more than one wand,” Ollivander said in his prophetic way of speaking.  With his few interactions with the man, Harry had begun to wonder if the wand maker was something of a seer.

“I didn’t know you could become incompatible with your wand,” Remus said.

“That’s a bit of an overstatement.  Wands are complex.  Their woods and cores have purpose and meaning.  For instance, Cypress would probably still be a fitting wood for you.  Cypress is excellent for the type of people who are willing to sacrifice themselves for the benefit of others, people who are very heroic.  However, your core is probably having difficulty handling your magic.  Unicorn hair is often thought of as the core for weak wizards.  This is untrue.  A more accurate way of thinking about it is unicorn hair best suits wizards that shy away from their power, wizards that intuitively take a gentler approach to magic.  You used to shy away from the power the moon gives to you.  You don’t anymore.  You accept it, and use it to protect those you love,” Ollivander looked pointedly at Harry, who was still holding on to Teddy.  “Wands reflect the personalities of those they choose.  For example, I am not surprised young Mr. Malfoy made a poor Death Eater.  Hawthorn and unicorn hair is not a combination suited to dark deeds.”

“Now, young man clearly related to Lily Evans, please let either Mr. Lupin or Mr. Potter hold your daughter.  Her magic will conflict with yours and make the wands confused,” Dudley scrambled to comply.  He passed Iris to Remus.  “Good.  Now let me summon the wands that are calling for you.”

“Are the wands sentient, then?  I don’t hear them calling for me…  Lily was my aunt, by the way,” Dudley said sounding perplexed.  Harry could understand.  Wand magic was powerful and ancient, but extremely convoluted.  Harry had spent a good portion of the year prior trying to understand wand loyalty, and he still found the subject a bit confusing.  Wands were a viscous art, not a solid science. 

“To some degree, they are.  Now, what wands to try… hm…  Let’s try this one,” Ollivander said pulling out the first box.  “Willow, dragon heartstring, fifteen inches, and springy; it would be excellent for charm work.  Your Aunt Lily favored a Willow wand, if I remember correctly.”  Dudley shrugged and took the wand in his hand.  The result was an immediate blasting of the shelf in front of him.  Ollivander snatched the wand from him.

“No, that’s not right.  Try this one…,” he reached for another box. “…Alder, unicorn hair, fourteen and a half inches, rigid.”  Dudley reached for it, but as soon as he had it hand Ollivander snatched it away from him. The same happened with the next four wands that he tried.  Dudley was beginning to look stressed by the fourth wand.  Ollivander was looking a beginning to look a bit flustered when it seemed an idea occurred to him.

“Hm… I just finished a series of sibling wands using phoenix feathers.  I used different woods for each of them, though.  I want you to try them.  I have a feeling one of them will do the trick.  Please wait here a moment,” Mr. Ollivander disappeared into the back of his shop.  He reemerged not two minutes later with three wands.  He placed them carefully on the counter.

“Now, Mr… I’m sorry.  I haven’t asked your name, Mr. Potter’s cousin.”

“My name is Dudley Dursely, sir,” Dudley said as he eyed the wands nervously.

“Mr. Dursley, I want you to try these.  They all contain phoenix feathers.  Their woods are the only thing that will change.  First, the Yew wand,” Ollivander commanded.  Dudley reached out for the wand.  A look passed over his face, and even Harry could tell that they had just gotten closer to the correct wand. 

“Not quite, but we’re getting closer.  Now, this one will cost the owner a bit of money.  It’s a prototype I’ve made using two types of wood, Blackthorn and Rowan.  The combination only works with phoenix feathers.  Unicorn hair is overwhelmed by the wood.  Dragon heartstring causes it to be too combative and explosive.  It would be very well suited to a well-intentioned warrior,” Ollivander handed the second wand over.  The reaction was immediate.  It was much like the first wand Dudley had tried, but on a larger scale.  The whole shop shook at the wand’s rejection. Ollivander took the wand back from Dudley who was looking stressed out.  Harry had a moment of worry.  Though his magic had settled, stressing Dudley out right now could cause a relapse.  However, he didn’t have long to worry.  Ollivander was already handing the last wand to Dudley.

“I made this one because every few years I have need of this type of wand.  Holly and phoenix feather is an interesting and rare combination.  They tend to choose wizards of great power or extraordinary need.  They are attracted to those who are not to be trifled with, like Mr. Potter.  However, on the occasion an obscurus is foiled, they tend to pick the poor wizard to escape its clutches.  I think this will do the trick,” he said as he gave the wand over to Dudley. 

The result was instantaneous.  Dudley had found his wand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Monster Mash" Artist: Bobby Pickett Released: 1962
> 
> "Werewolves of London" Artist: Warren Zevon Album: Excitable Boy Released: 1978
> 
> Wand lore stuff from Harry Potter Wiki


	8. Halloween Pt. 3:The Wolf Fights and Makes Up

In the end, they left Ollivander’s with several new purchases.  Dudley and Remus, after some pushing from Harry, both had new wands with holsters.  Harry left with a holster and polishing kit.  By the time they made it to Weasely Wizard Wheezes, it was well past three.  Draco was waiting outside for them with an owl cage. 

“You lot took longer than expect,” Draco greeted them. 

“Yeah, that’d be my fault.  Apparently, wands don’t like to choose me,” Dudley said somewhat apologetically.  “We would have been quicker if those two hadn’t felt the need to have a stupid argument over the necessity of having the best fitting wand.”  Harry glared at his cousin.

“It’s not my fault Remus is stupidly stubborn about me spending small amounts of money on him,” Harry said through gritted teeth. 

“I am not stubborn,” Remus growled quietly.  “Just because Harry refuses to understand that it is not his responsibility to take care of me, does not make me unreasonable.”

“You have to be joking.  It was seven galleons.  I literally have more money than I know what to do with, and you’re insulted I chose to spend seven whole galleons on you.  I’m not trying to baby you.  I’m trying to help you.  I am so sick of this argument, Remus,” Harry growled back.  He wanted to shout.  The day had been long.  By the last few minutes at Ollivander’s, the children had become fussy.  If Remus wanted an argument, he’d get it.

“You are twenty years younger than me.  You’re doing too much.  With what you and Draco pay me to tutor you both, I could have afforded it on my own.  Of course, you only hired me out of pity.  It is not easy knowing that, but for your good graces, I wouldn’t be able to take of my family.  I appreciate being reminded of that constantly,” Remus glared at Harry.

“Remus, I did not hire you out of pity!  I hired you because you’re a damned fine teacher!  I asked you to move in when Andy sold her house because I didn’t want to live there alone, and I thought that family helped each other out!  I want to do these things for you because I care about you and Teddy!  I want you both to be happy, healthy, and safe,” Harry half shouted.

“It shouldn’t be your responsibility,” Remus growled back.  Harry was about to open his mouth to argue further when they were interrupted.

“I thought I heard your dulcet tones, little brother,” George grinned at the arguing pair with humor glistening in his eyes.  “However, if you two aren’t going to kiss and make up soon; I’ll have to ask you to relocate.  You’re scaring your children and, more importantly, my customers away.”

“We’re sorry, Mr. Weasely.  We’ll rein it in,” Remus said sheepishly.  He promptly began shushing Teddy.  Harry went red from embarrassment.  George simply nodded in acceptance then turned and considered Draco and Dudley.

“Draco, it’s good to see you.  You aren’t even causing me trouble at the moment.  I think I’ll save my newest prank for another day.  Dudley, it’s good to see you again.  Sorry, again for the Ton Tongue Toffee.  Well, sort of, you were a right prat at the time.  I see Harry sprang you from the loony bin.  Although, I do have one question,” George said seriously as he held the door open and they entered his shop. 

“Er… go ahead,” Dudley said a bit nervously.  Harry had a feeling that the Ton Tongue Toffee incident was fresh in his mind causing him to be wary of George’s question.

“What’s with the owl,” George asked.

“Oh, right I almost forgot with those two braying like mules,” Draco said gesturing towards Remus and Harry.  “I decided to go to Eeyelop’s while that lot was wand shopping.  She was sort of an impulse purchase.  I don’t really need another owl.  Dudley, you might wish to take her.  She’s an Eagle Owl.  They’re really useful because their feathers can be used in potions in addition to the standard post abilities.”  Draco looked a bit uncomfortable waiting for Dudley to say something. 

“Oh, come off it, Draco.  We were just at Ollivander’s.  Thanks to his analysis of your wand, we all know you’re a closet Hufflepuff.  You probably just wanted to get your friend a present.  You don’t need to be so awkward about it,” Harry teased a bit.  There was no way he could let the “braying like mules” remark go completely unchecked.  Draco colored.

“Oh, you got him for me?  Really,” Dudley asked excitedly.  “I haven’t gotten a present since I fell out of Vernon and Petunia’s good graces.  I know I’m an adult and everything, but I was ridiculously spoiled.  I think I went through withdrawal.  Thank you, Draco.  I really appreciate it!” 

“I did not buy it as a gift.  It was an impulse purchase that I was instantly regretting.  There’s no need for gratitude or repayment at this point,” Draco said with his nose in the air.  Dudley grinned at him and pulled him into a bear hug amidst Draco’s protests.  “And for the record, I am not a closet Hufflepuff.  Ollivander is a senile old man.  I can be quite scary when I want.”

“Of course, Draco,” Remus said in an obviously placating voice before heading off to look at one of the shelves. 

“Whatever you say… kitten,” Dudley smirked then ran off towards Remus leaving Harry and George to deal with a glaring Draco.

“So, Harrykins, other than assisting your cousin in his escape from the nut hatch and arguing with werewolves, what have you been up to today,” George asked changing the subject.

“Well, Remus and I went to Godric’s Hollow to visit my parents’ graves.  Then we popped into St. Mungo’s for a visit and sprang Dudley.  Now we’re here,” Harry responded evasively.  There was no way he would tell George about his dream epiphany, hand holding in the hollow, or waist grabs.  Of course with the way Remus was acting right now, he had half a mind to march back into Madame Malkin’s and purchase the man a completely new wardrobe.  If they were going to argue about Harry spending money on him, at least that way Harry would earn the ire.

“I have a feeling that there’s more to that story than you’re letting on.  I’ll press you about it another time, though.  I won’t add to your Halloween woes.  In fact, in the spirit of gift giving inspired by our own Mr. Malfoy; I have several small gifts for you. Treats that happen to be tricks, you might say,” George winked and beckoned Harry to the counter.  Draco scowled at them one last time.

“I don’t know why I put up with any of you,” he huffed before joining Dudley and Remus to browse the shop.  Harry and George shared a brief laugh at that as they walked the counter.

Harry waited at the counter while George disappeared into the stockroom.  He reappeared quickly with a box filled with several items.  “Now for your gifts, oh wise and generous benefactor of mine,” George said laying the box down on the counter.  He pulled out a two-toned box.

“This, little brother, is the WWW version of Truth or Dare; acknowledgments to Ms. Granger for the name.  For our final version, Percy and I changed things ever so slightly.  In our initial tests, we found out that the potion to ensure truth telling and the potion to promote dare doing did not react well with each other when imbibed too close together.  It took a solid week to rid ourselves of the gas.  However, it pays being related to a boring, well-learned, prat, like Percy.  Percy figured out that the truth potion didn’t need to enter your body through the stomach. This led to our breakthrough.  You simply burn the truth stick and the potion becomes airborne.  So, to play you need to: burn the truth stick; make the inhibition punch; and get to work embarrassing the other players.  We sold out of them at the Hogsmeade stand around lunch,” George said proudly.

“That sounds really amazing, George,” Harry said excitedly.  “I feel a bit bad for McGonagall, though.  Hogwarts is going to be full of naked students streaking on a dare by the end of the night.”  Harry and George laughed at the image. 

“So, Percy is in Hogsmeade today,” Harry guessed after they recovered. George nodded.

“He was supposed to run the stand till the younger years had to return to the castle.  I assume he decided to catch a drink with Hermione at The Three Broomsticks.  We’re hoping to buy out Zonko’s sometime next year, and we’re trying to establish a presence there beforehand.  Also, Percy will use any excuse for a chance to see a certain bookworm.  He visits Hogsmeade almost every weekend lately,” George grinned and Harry chuckled. 

“I think Hermione is happy to see him.  She always liked Percy more than most.  Besides, I think she’s a bit alone this year without Ron and I.  I’m glad Percy has been keeping her company.  Merlin knows, she probably enjoys having incredibly boring conversations with him,” Harry said.  George nodded then continued explaining the contents of the box.

 “These are Giggling Gummies.  Feed them to your friends; wait a few minutes; and watch as they giggle in the middle of a lesson or at any other inappropriate time.  These are Escaping Wind Stickers.  Just peel off the paper; stick the adhesive on someone’s back; and, by the smell and sounds emitted, the person will seem to have a bad case of flatulence.  Thankfully for the mark, the charm only works about eight hours after the paper is peeled off,” George snorted.  “I’ve given you our new variety box of transfiguration candies, old and new.  The box contains: Canary Creams, Froggy Fudge, Lizard Lollipops, and Sirius Taffy.  I hope you and Remus don’t mind that I named the dog ones after Sirius. ”

Harry shook his head and grinned.  “I don’t mind, and I don’t think Remus will.  Sirius would have been highly honored to have a prank named after him.” George just nodded and went back to his box.

“Now for the piece de resistance,” the red head said as he produced a plain black box.  “We haven’t named this yet.  Inside the box there is a sheet that once out of the box will magically resize to 400 square feet.  After it enlarges, you can cut it to whatever shape you want.  Then you apply it to the floor, walls, or ceiling of the room you’re using.  After it is laid out, just point at it and say the name of a location you’d like to see three times, and the sheet will make the covered area into it.  We’ve been thinking of marketing it as a way to bring the outdoors inside; turning a child’s room into a park on a sunny spring day in the middle of winter sort of thing.  St. Mungo’s seems interested in it for patient rooms on extended stay.”

“That’s mind blowing, George!  How’d you come up with the idea,” Harry asked thoroughly impressed.  George looked a bit uncomfortable all of a sudden.

“Er… You see, I didn’t come up with this one.  Percy found notes for it in Fred’s room.  We decided to finish it.  There are a few other products we’ll be working on from his notes.  They’re all labelled “For When We Win.”  All of his plans seem geared toward items that would be more relaxing or rehabilitative.  This one was first, though,” George answered.

“Oh… I see.  What’s special about this one,” Harry asked trying to keep emotion out of his voice. 

“He made it for us,” George replied a little tearfully.  “Mostly, though, he wanted to make this for you.  He felt we all deserved a place to feel happy.”

……

By the time they got back to Grimmauld, it was close to four-thirty.  They had floo-ed back directly from the shop which, in Harry’s opinion, was a good thing.  Teddy and Iris were thoroughly finished with being out for the afternoon, and all but demanding naps. Remus looked sick all of a sudden.  Harry felt a bit guilty about their spat when he looked at him.  Between the coming moon and the stress of the day, he really should not have argued over seven galleons.  Dudley seemed to be simply taking it all in stride.  This annoyed Harry a little if for no other reason than he seemed to handle the floo like he’d been doing it his whole life.  Before they had left the shop, he’d named his new owl (Tristan) and sent him to Grimmauld carrying his shrunken cage.  Harry was just exhausted and not looking forward to the evening ahead.  His plans for a quiet Halloween at home had disintegrated rapidly.

The reason for this, as many other historic disturbances to peace, was a Weasely twin.  Harry left George’s shop with his complimentary box; notebooks that were charmed to pass notes to another person regardless of distance (NotePasser 2000); and the dubious pleasure of being an impromptu dinner host.  George had made the suggestion that Dudley should have a welcome home party.  Draco and Percy (via NotePasser 2000) readily agreed.  Although he was really too tired for a party, Harry wanted Dudley to feel welcome.  The guest list was thrown together hastily.  George, Percy, Ginny, Mr. and Mrs. Weasely, Hermione, Draco, Mrs. Malfoy, Neville, Luna Lovegood, Andromeda, Professor McGonagall, and Hagrid had all been invited. So, he had to send out his elves in preparation for the small party that was taking place this evening the minute he stepped through Grimmauld’s kitchen floo. 

“Remus, I think you need a rest. If you want to lie down for a bit; I’ll make sure Teddy gets a nap,” Harry offered, holding out his arms to receive his godson.

“Thank you, Harry,” Remus said as he passed off his son.  “I don’t think I’ll sleep, but I think I’ll relax in my study for a bit.  If I decide to kip, the sofa in there is comfortable enough.”  He left the kitchen looking drawn.  Harry turned to Dudley then.

“I have a room set up for you a floor below mine.  I put Iris’ nursery on the same floor as my room for easier access.  I can have one of the house-elves move her room next to yours if you’d like?”

“Well, that seems like a good idea.  However, there’s no need to try and shove this in right now.  You’re expecting people here in a few hours.  It could wait to a weekend.  Also, what are house-elves,” Dudley asked as politely as possible. Instead of answering him directly Harry grinned and held up his pointer finger then called out into the house:

“Sparkles, Ginger, and Izzy please come down here.”  There were three small pops as the elves arrived.

“Yes, Mr. Potter,” three voices said almost simultaneously.

“These, Dudley, are house-elves.  I employ these three to help with the house.  They cook, clean, fix, and on the rare occasion nanny.  Your room at the hospital was probably maintained by elves.  Their magic is very strong and very useful.  Now, Sparkles, Ginger, and Izzy,” Harry redirected his attention to the elves.  “I have guests arriving at seven-thirty tonight.  I need the public areas of the house clean; enough food for about twenty people and one half-giant; and Iris’ nursery moved next to my cousin’s room.  You are to treat my cousin like you would me or Remus from here forward.  Sparkles, I think you should do the cooking.  However, please don’t become offended if Mrs. Weasely uses the kitchen to make a dish or two.  Ginger, I’d like you to do the cleaning.  Please concentrate on the dining room and parlor.  Izzy, please see to the nursery then help Ginger and Sparkles.” Each elf popped away as they were given their assignments.  Dudley’s mouth dropped. 

“Dudley if you’ll give me a minute, I’ll show you to your room next,” Harry said.  Dudley nodded.  Harry filled a kettle and put it on the stove to boil.  He probably could have done it with magic, but he was still learning the charms used for cooking and not very confident with them. 

With that done, he walked Dudley to his room.  Harry pointed out rooms as he walked through the house.  Dudley’s jaw seemed to keep dropping in disbelief each time he was shown a room.  Whether that was because he was impressed with the largess of the house or that it was Harry’s was not distinguishable.  Dudley looked around his room and smiled. 

“Thanks, Harry.  I really appreciate everything.  I’ll be sure to get out of your hair as quickly as possible,” Dudley said earnestly.

“Honestly, Dudley, I’m glad everyone’s here.  This house is huge.  It deserves to have a family living in it.  I can’t quite be happy that Andromeda’s poor health forced her to sell her house, or that you almost turned into something terrible.  However, I am happy to have people here.  I don’t know what I’ll do when you all leave,” Harry said softly, snuggling a sleeping Teddy.  The boy had fallen asleep almost immediately when Harry had taken him. 

“I wouldn’t worry about it too much, cousin.  I think your werewolf and I are going to be here for a while.  If nothing else, I hope you’ll let me stay until I’m finished with the basic schooling.”

“It’s really not a problem for you to stay.  Don’t worry.  I won’t kick you out until you’ve earned it,” Harry half-joked.  The Dudley of his childhood flashed fresh in his mind.  “Er… I’ll leave you to get settled.  Izzy has probably finished transferring everything to one of the rooms next to this one.  I’ll have Izzy come get you for dinner.  Welcome home, Dudley.”  Harry said with meaning.

“It’s good to have a home, Harry,” Dudley returned earnestly as he set Iris down on the bed.  He began unloading his backpack.  He grimaced at the shrunken state of the items.

“Just place it, then tap twice to resize,” Harry instructed.  Dudley nodded and pulled out his wand.  Harry waited until he’d resized something before leaving for Teddy’s room.

Using a bit of magic learned from Mrs. Weasely, Harry was able to change Teddy’s diaper and clothes without waking him before settling him in his cot.  Once Teddy was seen to, Harry apparated himself down to the kitchen.  He quickly assembled a tray, cups, sugar bowl, milk, biscuits, and some chocolate.  He poured the hot water into the tea pot; swished it around a bit; then dumped it out.  With the tea pot warmed, Harry added the tea and the rest of the water.  Just before he left the kitchen, he summoned Izzy and gave instructions that, absent an emergency, neither he nor Remus were to be disturbed until twenty minutes before guests were to arrive.  He also made arrangements with the elves to watch over Teddy and Iris for the evening.  Having the house-elves play nanny was not a standard occurrence, but the party would probably last until eleven.  It would be easier to just allow the elves to take some care of the children tonight.  After that, with the tea tray steadied by magic, Harry made his way to Remus’ study on the second floor.  Harry gave a small knock on the door.

“Come in,” Remus called from the room beyond.  Harry entered. 

The room had a strange blue-green light cast about it from the tanks that held familiar creatures.  Harry’s eyes went directly to the grindylow tank, and he felt himself blush.  The light from the tanks was providing almost all the light to the room at the moment.  The single exception was the lamp next to the sofa where Remus lay reading a book.   Harry carried the tray to the coffee table between the fireplace and the sofa. 

“Er… I thought you could use a little pick-me-up.  So, I made tea.  Mind if I sit down,” Harry asked awkwardly.

“Sure,” Remus said as he began to move.  He swung his legs over the edge of the sofa and shuffled so he was sitting in the middle. He placed the book to his left.  He gestured towards his right and Harry sat down.  Harry poured them both a cup of tea.  Harry gave Remus his cup, just enough milk and two cubes of sugar.  It struck him suddenly that he didn’t need to be told how Remus took his tea.  He fixed his own cup then took a sip.  Remus looked at the tray as if he’d had an epiphany, and then he dug into the chocolate.  They sat in silence a few minutes just drinking their tea. 

“I… I… er… I wanted to apologize for earlier,” Harry said breaking the silence.  “You’re going through enough right now.  I know this is a tough moon for you.  I shouldn’t have argued with you in Ollivanders’.  I didn’t mean to do it to annoy you.  I know you can take care of yourself and Teddy just fine without me.  Once the bill passes, you’ll be employed and can live anywhere you like…” Harry trailed off a bit then.  The realization that everyone around him was temporary stung.  His home was full now, but could empty again at any time.  He snapped out of it as quickly as he could and tried to finish his apology. 

“So, er… I just wanted to apologize for making this more difficult for you, Moons.”  Harry placed his now empty cup back on the tray.  However, he did not raise his head.  He suddenly found his shoes to be very interesting.  He couldn’t bring himself to look at Remus; though, he could feel Remus’ eyes on him.  He heard Remus take a deep breath and sip his tea.

“Harry, you don’t have anything to apologize for.  I overreacted and was being stubborn.  I needed this,” Remus said as he put down his tea cup then brandished his new wand.  “I just freaked out, and it wasn’t just over my stubborn pride.  I’m sure you’ve noticed, but I don’t accept change well.  It’s a bit ironic, really.  My whole life is dictated by a monthly change.  You’d think I’d be able to roll with the punches better.  I try.  I’m just not very successful.  I had that old wand since I was eleven.  By accepting this new wand, I feel a bit disloyal to my old one.  Not to mention, it’s like officially saying that I’ve changed.”

“I don’t think it’s disloyal to move on when the time comes.   You’re not betraying your wand.  Your old wand just isn’t right for you anymore.  Besides, is changing such a bad thing,” Harry tried to reassure him.  He chanced a glance at the werewolf before staring straight ahead.

“For me… I’m not sure.  I always rejected the potential power that werewolves could have.  Interacting with or leading other werewolves; owning up to the wolfish part of your being; giving in to the more base desires of the animal are all things that increase a werewolves power.  It doesn’t come free, though.  The more powerful the wolf; the more likely I am to bite, to lose myself to the wolf.  I never wanted to be a danger to others.  More than ever, I worry about it.  I have more to lose now than before.  I am more powerful now and, therefore, more dangerous…”

“You’re not dangerous, Remus,” Harry snarled as interruption.  “You become a possible liability one night every lunar cycle, and you mitigate it by taking your potion!  You are not constantly the wolf!  You are a good man who deserves better, and I will hear no arguments to the contrary!”

“Relax, Harry,” Remus shushed.  He had a pained look on his face.  The shouting was probably wreaking havoc on his sensitive hearing.  “I don’t mean to say that I’m a danger.  It’s just that I always rejected the potential power because of the risk.  Knowing that has changed on some level, it makes everything feel final,” Remus explained calmly. 

“I’m sorry,” Harry uttered softly.  He reached his hands up to run them through Remus’ hair.  “I’m causing you more pain.”

Remus sighed at the contact, but did not protest to it.  “It isn’t your fault.  Like I’ve been saying, the moon closest to Halloween is always the worst.  I think that’s what stoked my stubborn pride.  No matter how self-sufficient I can become, I won’t be able to do it completely on my own.  I can’t look after my son on days like this.  I don’t know what I’ll do when you kick us out of here.”  Remus sighed leaning into Harry’s touch and moving one arm around Harry’s waist. 

“Remus,” Harry said firmly, but quietly.  “That will never happen.  This is your home, and you are welcome to stay forever.”

“You can’t possibly mean that.  You’re young.  You should be enjoying your youth.  Merlin knows you deserve some fun.  You shouldn’t have a baby and a grumpy werewolf dragging you down.  This should be your bachelor pad, not a… a daycare,” Remus huffed.  He moved to break their contact, but Harry wouldn’t let him.  The hands that had been running through his hair wrapped around his shoulders and held him in place.  Harry was now kneeling on the couch facing Remus.  Remus still had one arm wrapped around him.  Harry quickly suppressed the urge to drift into fantasy, and the impulse to blush.

“How many times do I have to tell you before you hear it,” Harry asked exasperatedly, holding tightly onto the man in front of him.  “I want you.  I want you here in this house.  I want you in my life.  I want you when you’re easy to be around.  I want you when you’re being a stubborn idiot, like right now.  As for the “should” part of your argument… I don’t care about it.  The world can take its expectations and shove them.  The same goes for you and yours, Moons.  Doing as I should is all I have done since my first year at school.  I am doing what I want to do, now.  I’m doing what feels right for me, not for the wizarding world or anyone else.  Other eighteen year olds might think differently.  That’s their business.  I suppose you think I’m pretty selfish.”  Harry said feeling a bit insecure.  His hold on Remus loosened.  He turned his head away, but only to have Remus’ hand rest upon his cheek and turn it back.  Their eyes met. 

“Harry, you are many things.  Selfish is not one of them,” Remus said staring directly into his eyes.  Harry felt his stomach lurch as he gazed back.  It was as if he were physically pulled into pools of amber-brown to drown.  Yet, in some sort of ironic twist, he felt parched.  He swallowed involuntarily.  Remus took a deep breath and shuddered slightly as he let it out.  Harry wondered how he smelt to him.  The wolf’s senses were always more sensitive close to the moon.  Harry was very aware that there wasn’t much space between them, and his heartbeat quickened.  It happened quickly, but it felt like slow motion.  Remus, keeping a gentle hold on his face, leaned forward with intent.  He paused a moment to search Harry’s face, giving Harry the opportunity to say “no” or back away.  Not finding any reluctance in his quick search, Remus moved the rest of the way in. 

  The press against Harry’s lips was light and tender.  The kiss was soft, gentle, and fleeting.  It was also devastating.  In that small fleeting brush of lips, Harry realized he could become addicted.  The small kiss sent electric sparks throughout his body.  The taste of chocolate, sweet tea, and something that was uniquely Remus played across his lips.  It was over far too quickly for Harry’s liking.  When Remus pulled away, his eyes were wild and slightly panicked. 

“Merlin, Harry I’m so sorry!  I should never have done that,” Remus spat out quickly.  “I know this moon makes me crazy!  I should not let you close to me when I’m like this…”  Remus probably would have continued on his rant, but Harry’s brain had come out of its haze long enough to interrupt him.

“Remus, I know you’re having some sort of meltdown right now, but you shouldn’t.  I’m fine… better than fine, actually.  Also, if you want me to stop just let me know,” Harry said before he launched himself at the older man. 

For as deliberative, soft, and tentative as Remus kissed Harry, Harry’s kiss was reckless, cocksure, and passionate.  Harry withdrew and looked the werewolf square in the eye.  Remus looked back at him, and his face was impassive.  Harry felt his heart sink.  He took a moment to draw in a quick breath so he could think of some way to keep whatever remained of his dignity.  However, the rejection never came.  Instead, Harry felt his world tilt as his back hit the cushions as Remus climbed on top of him. 

“Let me know if you want me to stop,” Remus repeated Harry’s words from a moment ago.  Then, he brought his lips down to Harry’s.

Harry felt his like his body would burst into flame as one kiss shattered into many.  He wasn’t sure which of them moaned first, but it was like the breaking of a seal.  Hands started roaming. Harry mapped Remus’ shoulders, chest, and lower back as if committing the feel to memory.  He felt Remus’ hands grazing his sides, grasping at his hips, and caressing his thighs.  Harry’s legs parted seemingly of their own free will to better accommodate the man on top of him.  Remus responded by grinding his hips into Harry’s.  The action sent fire through his body.

Harry broke their kiss and gasped.  Remus took the opportunity to dive at his neck.  Remus started near his ear. He placed a kiss just under Harry’s earlobe. Then he devoured Harry’s neck; licking, sucking, and nipping his way to where the shoulders met.  Harry couldn’t form a coherent thought.  He was consumed.  Every lick had more blood rushing from his brain.  Every nip had him panting for more.  Every suck at his skin made his hips buck.  At the crook of his neck, Remus latched on to him and started to thrust back at Harry’s bucking hips.

Harry snaked a hand in between them and unbuckled, unbuttoned, and unzipped them both.  Remus groaned when Harry brushed against his turgid length as he pushed his trousers down.  Remus reached underneath him and returned the favor, pausing briefly to grab Harry’s ass.  Harry moaned at the grope and pushed his hips forward.  The desire to feel their skin connect was burning beneath Harry’s skin.  Their most intimate parts were now separated only by two thin pieces of fabric.  However, he wasn’t given long to ponder that fact as Remus reconnected their mouths.

There was new motion as they kissed now.  Remus and Harry were both thrusting into each other with purpose.  Harry’s hands rested almost exclusively on the hips on top of his, directing their motions.  Remus’ hands were a bit more adventurous.  They were alternating between gripping onto Harry’s ass and wandering between them to grasp at Harry’s diamond hard arousal.  On their third pass, Remus’ hands played with the elastic of Harry’s boxers.  Harry took the cue and ran with it.  Using some silent and wandless magic, Harry banished both of their clothes.  They were both as naked as the day they were born. 

Remus’ body was better than he would have expected.  The cardigans the man was so fond of gave the impression he was trying to hide something.  Though he was a little on the thin side, Remus’ shoulders and chest were broad with defined muscles.  His torso, though scarred, was lean and defined.  His front was dusted in dirty brown hair that narrowed down into a perfect treasure trail.   Remus was looking him over as well.  Harry felt like squirming under his inspection.  In addition to what he assumed were the normal insecurities everyone had about their bodies, Harry had led a life that left its mark upon his body.  The scar from Slytherin’s locket alone was very obvious on his sternum.  He made a move to cover it with his hands, but Remus stopped him.  Remus leaned down and kissed the scar tenderly before giving the rest of his chest and lower neck the same treatment. 

Harry was overwhelmed.  The feeling of skin on skin was driving him to distraction.  The sweetness of Remus’ kisses and caresses was addictive.  The overall feeling of rightness was crashing over him like waves; it was as if he was getting carried away with the tide.  It was like a force driving him closer and closer to climax.  He was altering between returning Remus’ kisses and muttering his name repeatedly; a sound between a prayer and a plea.  Harry heard his own name falling from Remus’ lips in return.  The feel of their bare cocks rubbing against each other soon had Harry begging for release. 

The man on top of him shifted and reached down to grab both of their cocks.  Harry felt something warm and oily coat coating his cock as Remus began to stroke both of them.  Harry let out a pleasured hiss.  Remus’ head fell forward as he panted, but kept his hand working both of them.  Harry leaned up slightly and kissed him firmly.  As they kissed, his strokes progressively became firmer and quicker.  It wasn’t long until Harry felt his orgasm rip through his body.  He screamed into Remus mouth as he released.  Remus’ followed almost instantly shuddering above Harry before collapsing on top of him.  Harry held onto Remus as he tried to regain some control over his limbs.  They were both trembling lightly from the power of their climax.  As they came back down to earth, they exchanged: gentle kisses, affectionate nuzzles, and whispers of sweet nothings.  After some immeasurable length of time, Remus cast a spell to transfigure the couch so that it widened to accommodate them both.  After that, he slid off of Harry and cast a cleansing charm on them both.  He seemed to try and put as much distance between the two of them as possible.

There was a brief moment of awkward silence.  Harry hated it.  What they had just done was better than anything he could ever have imagined.  It was painful to feel and hear the rejection in the silence and distance between them.

“If you don’t want me here, I can leave,” Harry offered.  The hurt in his voice was evident.  He was too exhausted to even try and suppress it.

“Oh, Harry,” Remus said as he put an arm around the smaller man and pulled him close.  “See what happens if you try to leave.”  Harry felt a kiss planted on his neck.  He looked up at Remus.  The amber-eyed man wore a strange expression. 

“You really don’t mind if I stay,” Harry questioned insecurely.

“No.  Against all reason, propriety, probably morality, I want you here with me.  I don’t think I could let you go at this moment even if I wanted to.  Your presence seems to tame the wolf a bit, and I could use a break.  I haven’t slept well the last two days,” Remus tried to reassure.

“Okay,” Harry said as he burrowed his face in the space where Remus’ arm met his torso.  He breathed in and out deeply and felt himself drifting towards sleep.  Remus shuffled a bit to pull at something.  Harry and Remus were soon covered with a crocheted blanket.  Then Remus pulled him to his chest tightly.

“Hey, Harry,” Remus called sleepily.

“Yeah, Moons,” Harry muttered.

“How did you get that chocolate on the tray?”  Harry’s sleepy brain was fuzzy.  So, it took a moment to realize that Remus was referencing the chocolate he’d put on the tea tray.

“Well… It’s your favorite, right?  I always make sure it’s on hand.  I’m surprised you haven’t noticed it yet.  It should be offered every time you ask an elf for tea.  I told them they should ask you,” Harry explained.  “You tasted like chocolate.  I liked it.  It wasn’t in my dreams that way.”

“…Your dreams, Harry?”

“Yep, my dreams… There are grindylows… And… And Hogwarts office… then sex stuff…”

“You aren’t very coherent when tired are you, darling?”

“S’pose not… Explain later… Sleep now…”

Harry felt a silent chuckle escape Remus’ chest.  “Alright, darling, sleep well.”

Harry was almost out entirely, but rallied enough energy for one last plea, “You’ll stay?”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Remus said softly.  He sounded every bit as tired as Harry.  Harry nodded slightly at his words.  It took less than a minute before the world went dark.

His sleep was deep and dreamless. 


	9. Halloween Pt. 4:  The Wolf and his Soulmate

“Mr. Potter… Mr. Potter… Mr. Potter, sir, it is twenty minutes until your guests are due to arrive,” a squeaky voice broke through his slumber.  Harry groaned but didn’t move.  He was still entangled in Remus’ arms, and he didn’t want to disturb him if he was still sleeping.

“Thank you, Izzy.  I’ll be down after I shower and dress,” Harry said sleepily as he nuzzled his head into Remus’ shoulder.  “If anyone arrives before I’m done, please show them in. You’ve alerted Dudley?”

“Yes, sir, I woke him before you.  Your cousin, Mrs. Tonks, Mrs. Malfoy, and young Mr. Malfoy are keeping an eye on the children in the parlor.  Do you require anything else, sir?”

“No, Izzy, that will be all,” Harry dismissed the elf.  The pop of his departure woke Remus.

“Hello, Moony,” Harry said nervously.  He felt unsure.  To do nothing in this moment would be odd, but he didn’t know what Remus would want him to do.

“Hello, Harry,” the werewolf said warmly.  “What time is it?”

“About ten minutes past seven,” Harry answered.  “Draco, Andy, and Narcissa are already here.  Everyone else should be arriving in about twenty minutes.”  Remus nodded and drew Harry close.  He pressed a soft kiss to the top of Harry’s head and, after a brief hesitation, to his lips.  Then Remus’ sighed.

“Relax, Harry.  I’m not going to run away from you,” the older man tried to reassure.  Harry, however, wasn’t convinced.  Something in the tone of his voice put Harry on edge.

“I believe you won’t run.  I’m not worried you’ll go anywhere…,” the word physically was left out of Harry’s acceptance.  Emotionally, though, Harry was terrified that the man he was wrapped up in would pull himself out of reach.  He pushed that thought aside to focus on the present.  He changed the subject, “We need to get dressed for dinner.  I’m going to take a shower.  If you’re not up to tonight, I’ll make sure Teddy is looked after.  A house-elf could bring you dinner.”

“No, I feel really good right now.  If it gets to be too much, I’ll excuse myself,” Remus said.  He had a wolfish grin on his face.  He leaned down and kissed Harry passionately.  Harry felt his world tilt and quickly lost himself to the sensations.  Remus started the kiss and had to break it.  “Enjoy your shower, darling.” He said mischievously.  Harry must have made a face because Remus chuckled as Harry summoned his clothes then apparated to his own bathroom. 

……

Harry Potter was thinking gleefully of murdering Draco Malfoy.  It had started the instant he got downstairs after his shower.  Draco had taken one look at Harry and smirked.  Once Remus had joined them a few minutes later, Draco repeated his assessment and smirked at Harry again.  He had smirked at Harry all through dinner in addition to making increasingly risqué remarks.  They had all moved to the parlor now, and Draco was still smirking at Harry.  Now, he was doing it from across the room on the sofa he sat on while holding onto Iris.  Harry would never understand the baby girl’s attachment to the Slytherin pain-in-the-butt.  So, in return to Draco’s smirk, Harry glared back.  Draco made a mock hurt expression.  Harry just shook his head.  As annoying as Draco’s behavior was; it seemed to have gone largely unnoticed by his many guests.

As Harry scanned the room to make sure no one noticed his glares at Draco, he took a moment to appreciate the décor.  Ginger had gone above and beyond the call of duty.  Harry had asked only for the room to be spruced up.  However, the house-elf had found or conjured decorations and put them out.  It wasn’t on the level of a Hogwarts holiday, but was still impressive.  There were jack-o-lanterns all over; paper skeletons that would sing like a barbershop quartet; flittering paper bats; and some sort of magic fog.  Harry made a metal note to pass his compliments on to Ginger.

Nearly everyone that Harry had invited was there.  In fact, the only exception was Professor McGonagall.  She was unable to make it because of the Halloween Feast at the school.  As headmistress, she felt it imperative to attend.  All the invited Weasely’s had shown up. Mrs. Weasely was currently fussing over Dudley.  The improvements that Ron had made over the last few weeks with Dudley’s help had helped the Weasely family and Dudley bond.  Harry couldn’t be sure, but he thought that Mrs. Weasely was teaching Dudley some domestic charms.  Mr. Weasely, George, Remus, and Hagrid were all involved in conversation.  They seemed to be discussing Zera and her progress.  The phoenix had decided to shift to her perch in the parlor for the evening.  Hagrid was one of her favorite people.  The half-giant always got her to sing.  Harry found it a bit odd that Zera still chose to remain with him.  She really perked up around Hagrid.  Ginny, Luna, Andy, and Narcissa were all huddled around the sofa Draco was sitting on.  The babies were the big draw.  Andy held onto Teddy.  Draco still had Iris.  However, a game of pass the baby was clearly going to start happening soon. 

Harry stood with Hermione, Percy, and Neville.  He was aware of their conversation enough to know that they were supposed to be talking about the newest draft of the bill.  However, he wasn’t paying an ounce of attention. He kept sneaking glances at Remus when he wasn’t glaring at Draco.  Every so often, Remus would catch his gaze.  When that happened, they would stare intensely at each other for just a moment before diverting their eyes.  Harry was constantly fighting the blush that would try to appear during their small moments of eye catching.  Remus was just about to turn his head towards Harry when a voice pulled his attention.

“Harry… Harry... Earth to, Harry,” Hermione said a bit loudly as she waved her hand in front of his face.

“Er… What do you need, ‘Mione,” Harry asked confusedly. 

“I was asking for your opinion on the section concerning Wolfsbane distribution.”

“…Wolfsbane distribution,” Harry questioned still a bit dazed.

“Yes, Harry, I was asking about Wolfsbane distribution.  You know.  The part of our revolutionary bill that ensures werewolves won’t go crazy during the full moon; creates jobs for potion masters; and is necessary with all the new werewolves who wouldn’t be able to afford it otherwise…,” Hermione huffed. 

“Oh, right, the distribution section… er… Well, I don’t have any notes.  Of course, if something were wrong with it; Percy or Draco would probably spot it better. I read through it earlier today, but everything seemed alright to me.  I’ll read through it again on Monday,” Harry finished lamely.   Hermione gave him a sharp look.  Her eyes took on their occasional mischievous glint, and Harry knew that he was in for a talking to.

“Percy, Neville,” Hermione addressed the two men.  “Would you excuse Harry and me for a moment?  Now that I have his attention, I wanted to check the library here for a book. I’ve been reading that old families were finicky about who was able to take their books.  Knowledge being equivalent to power, and all… So, I might need Harry there to actually physically put it into my hands.  ”

“Sure, Hermione, I don’t think that the Black library would have a copy of _Les Meutes de Loups D'Europe_.  I suppose you never know, though.  If not the Malfoy library might have it.  It would really be helpful.  Hurler’s work would be helpful to your cause,” Percy said before delving into Edmund Hurler’s life amongst werewolves. 

Hermione gave Percy an indulgent smile before pulling Harry towards the parlor door.  Harry’s eyes met Remus’ one more time on the way out.  Harry gave him a weak grin and shrugged.  Hermione practically dragged him to the library.  Once the door was shut, she cast a silencing spell on the door.  Then she rounded on Harry. 

“Alright, Harry, spill,” she demanded.

“Hermione,” Harry groaned.    

“Don’t you “Hermione” me.  You’ve been making eyes at a certain werewolf all night.  Furthermore, please forgive the pun but, said werewolf has had a moony expression on his face whenever he looked at you.  Add in Draco’s smirk, and there is no way that nothing happened.  So,  I demand you spill it,” she insisted. Harry sighed.

“You’re so sure something happened,” Harry remarked matter-of-factly. 

“Good grief, Harry,” she said exasperatedly.  “I knew you were dense, but this may be a new depth.  You’ve been chasing each other’s tails for a long time now.”  Harry purpled at the thought.  Leave it to Hermione to figure out his feelings before he could.  “So, tell me what happened.”

Harry drew a deep breath and tried to calm his nerves.  Then started his explanation shakily, “We… er… well, you see… I sort of only just figured everything out.  I mean I’d noticed him before in some ways, but it was easily dismissed.  Until today, that is.  Today, it was all brought to the forefront.  I realized today that I’d been dreaming of him…er… romantically for months.  After that bit of enlightenment, I couldn’t clear my head where he was concerned.  It was worse today too because we touched each other.  It wasn’t really anything news worthy, just handholding and the like, but it was,” Harry struggled to find the right way to explain.  “… Er… it was… I mean it felt right.  It was like two puzzle pieces that go together.  It was seamless and easy as breathing.  Then, it crashed down on us for a bit.  We got in an argument at Ollivander’s. He’s so bloody stubborn.”  Hermione snorted at that.

“If that isn’t the pot judging the kettle,” she muttered under her breath.  Harry made a face at her then continued.

“When we got back here, I felt guilty about the argument.  I made him some tea.  We had a chat in his study.  One thing led to another, and we kissed… and stuff,” Harry finished dejectedly.  The memory of their time together bloomed sweetly in his mind, but was quickly soured by the doubts he was left with when he woke.  It wouldn’t be the first time the older man had pulled away from his lover.  Knowing the man, Harry would bet he’d recycle the reasons for the withdrawal.  Age, propriety, and illness were going to heavily figure into a talk that Harry knew, even without consulting tea leaves, was coming.

“Kissed and stuff,” she asked with an eye roll.  Harry sighed.

“Yes, ‘Mione, we kissed and did other stuff.  You know.  We snogged, made out, necked, played tonsil Quidditch… As for other stuff, I’ll leave that to your overactive imagination,” Harry groused. His best friend giggled at his grumping.

“Relax, Harry, I’m not judging you.  I don’t mean to pry too much.  I wasn’t expecting snogging and stuff.  I thought you were going to tell me about finally confessing your feelings for each other.  Also, slightly off topic, but how come you never call it snogging?”

“Well, I hate the way it sounds.  Kissing is something nice you do with another person.  Snogging sounds like a noise you’d make trying to rid your nose or throat of mucus.  As for confessions of deep rooted feelings, I don’t think I’ll ever get that,” Harry said unable to keep a bitter edge out of his tone.  Hermione looked at him thoughtfully.

“Oh, Harry, I’m sorry.  Are you feeling alright with everything?”

“For now, I think I’m ok.  I’m just worried about tomorrow.  It’s Remus.  He’s going to push me away, and I don’t think I can stand it.  This feels so right to me.  It’s a little strange; I’ll admit.  Yet, the rightness is overwhelming.  Does that make sense?”

“If my suspicions are correct, it makes perfect sense,” she replied mysteriously.  Harry was about to ask what she was thinking, but she just shook her head. 

“You know; I’m a bit surprised at your reaction to all of this.  What happened to the girl who thought risking expulsion was worse than risking death?  She would never have taken my doing sexual stuff with a man who was once our teacher so calmly,” Harry tried to joke his way into a slight subject change.  Hermione grimaced at him.

“A war happened to her,” she said seriously.  “Elven-year-old-me would be scandalized, but I was sheltered in more ways than one.  I don’t have a problem with you and Remus for several reasons.  First, it’s as I just said.  The war changed everything.  Living for today is not a bad philosophy.  No one is guaranteed a tomorrow.  The people and things you love can vanish right before your eyes.  We both know this; have experienced it.  So, I can’t knock you for seizing the day…” she trailed off in her own thoughts for a moment.  Ron’s absence was heavy in the room. 

“Carpe diem, huh” Harry said.

“Yes, carpe diem; seize the day.  You’re good for each other, too.  It’s sort of funny, but I think this started longer ago than the battle.  Your relationship with Remus has always evolved.  Third year, he was something of a mentor to you.  That persisted for a few years.  Then around sixth year, it started shifting.  He started to seek your counsel.  You started to speak your mind to him. By the time you yelled at him at Shell Cottage, I think he truly saw you as an equal.  Which brings me to why I think you two work, you see each other as an equal in most ways.  Neither of you is afraid to shout at the other.  Neither of you thinks the other’s counsel is ridiculous.  You listen to each other. You don’t actually listen to many people, Harry.  Compare that to how most of the adults still treat you.  Mrs. Weasely treats us all like we’re still eleven.  I’m not sure I’m making a lot of sense, but you force the best out of each other as equals.  The last reason I’m not too worried is related to my suspicion.”

“Am I going to hear about your idea?  Or, do you intend on letting me flounder,” Harry asked with an exaggeratedly pronounced pout.  It had the effect he’d hoped.  Hermione gave him a genuine grin. 

“I’m of two minds.  As usual, you’re not seeing the forest because of the trees,” she teased slightly.  “Without my help, it’ll take you forever to link it all together.  However, this is something that working it out on your own would probably be best.  I guess I could take the middle ground and give you a hint.”

“Please do, my personal genius,” Harry begged in a mix of sarcasm and impatience.  Hermione considered him a moment. 

“I think you need to consider that since the battle only Remus has been able to touch you.  There’s a reason for it, and I don’t think you can blame your mental state.  I think that should help you enough, for now,” Hermione said.  Harry didn’t really have time to consider the clue.  At the mention of his issues of touch, Hermione had brought back some of his more depressing thoughts.  Harry groaned.

“What am I going to do, ‘Mione?  It’s all fine now, but it isn’t going to last.  He has this idea of how things should be, and some of them are going to be hard to argue with,” he breathed out dejectedly.  There was a minute of silence as Harry stared off into space.  Hermione seemed to be choosing her words carefully.

“You know, Harry.  In the muggle world, they have this theory that there are many, many, universes.  One of the kids I went to school with explained it once.  He said that, in theory, there is a universe for every variable.  For example, there is a universe where magic doesn’t exist.  So, if this theory is correct; then there is a universe that exists where everything went perfectly as it should.  Like, Voldemort never existed in that universe.  So, your parents raised you and things all went rosy.  I’ve been thinking about this a lot.  It helps to think that there’s a universe where Ron is ok, Dumbledore lived, and things were easy.  The thing is it’s not the reality we live in,” she said in a trembling voice. 

“We live in a world where, seventeen years ago your parents were murdered by a madman.  You were raised by people who were terrible to you.  We lost Sirius, Dumbledore, Fred, and so many others.  The same madman that murdered your parents attempted to kill you numerous times.  We live in a universe where Ron lasted an entire war to be tortured from his mind at the last second of the final battle.” 

“We don’t live in the universe where everything has gone as it should since your birth.  It’s no one’s fault, and it’s not all bad.  Sometimes the arbitrary way things go in a way they shouldn’t is a good thing.  By all accounts, you and Remus should be dead.  The curse Remus took should have killed him. You actually died, but somehow came back from it.  In a larger sense, we probably shouldn’t have even won.  Let’s face it, Harry, we really lucked out a time or two,” she insisted.  Harry didn’t need convincing on that point.  They had been extremely lucky in some ways. 

“We did win, though.  So, I guess if Remus gives you all of his best arguments about how things should be; then I think you need to remind him of what is.”  Harry took in her words a moment.  Then he nodded at her and gave a weak smile.  Before they left the library, Hermione searched for the book that Percy had mentioned.  Apparently, she really did want it for her research and had intended on asking Harry about it before getting sidetracked.  They came up empty handed, however.

“You really should ask Draco.  If I understand correctly, the Malfoy family has French roots,” Harry suggested.

“I guess I’ll have to.  I just wanted to try here first.  I don’t think I’ll ever be Lucius Malfoy’s favorite person.”  Harry chuckled at that.

“You’re probably right, but we can’t expect miracles.  It’s pretty amazing how far Draco and Narcissa have come.  I think it really would be too much to ask that Lucius do the same.  I’m kind of happy he’s away on business.  It saved the awkward rejection that my invitation would have received.  He really can’t seem to stand the Weasely’s,” Harry chuckled. 

“Speaking of Weasely’s, are you ever going to put poor Percy out of his misery?” he grinned at Hermione.  Hermione blushed, but didn’t look uncomfortable with the subject.

“You think I should?  I mean it just feels soon.  I had a crush on Ron for ages, but Percy is…,” she paused for a moment to decide how to describe the glasses wearing Weasely.  “I mean…  He’s really wonderful.  He’s incredibly intelligent.  He’s helpful and kind.  He’s not terrible looking.  He’s amazing to talk to.  It’s just…  I don’t know what I feel, though.”

She pouted a moment before continuing, “It feels too easy with him.  It doesn’t help that I keep comparing him to Ron.  Ron was protective, strategic, brave, reckless, and goofy.  Percy is different.  He’s more supportive than protective; analytic without being strategic; sometimes brave in the wrong ways; calculating in his bravery; and serious to a point that I wonder how he’s related to his family.  I get on well with him, but…,” she trailed off at a loss for words.

“It doesn’t feel real without him being a dense git about how you’re feeling; having an occasional jealous rage; or flaunting his relationship with another woman in front of you,” he suggested somewhere between jokingly and understandingly.   Hermione chuckled a bit at the suggestion.  Harry joined her, but it was short lived. They both really missed Ron, bad points as well as good.

“That’s messed up, Harry.  It’s made all worse by the fact that it’s probably true.  I think I’ve see one too many cheesy romance films,” she sighed. “I put myself through hell trying to get Ron’s royal notice, and I didn’t doubt it once I got it. Percy is just giving it to me, and I don’t know how to react.”

“Oh, he’s giving _it_ to you, eh,” Harry teased as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.  Hermione snorted.  Then he continued in earnest, “Look, I’m not trying to push you one way or the other.  I just want you to be happy.  It’s like you said, “Percy is wonderful.”  He’s not as passionate as Ron, but he doesn’t run hot then cold either.  I think you’d suit each other well.”

“Better than Ron and I,” she teased vengefully.  His best friend knew how to make him uncomfortable.  He tried to think of a way to answer her question without directly stating one way or the other.

“Hermione… The book we just looked for is important to you, right,” Harry began.  She nodded in answer to his question.  “How many times did you tell Percy about the book?”

She thought about it for a second then answered, “I told him about it a week ago during a passing conversation at the WWW stall, and maybe once more today.  Why?”  She looked perplexed.

“Would Ron have remembered?  Would Ron understand why you wanted the book,” Harry prodded knowing the answer to both questions was “probably not.”  He watched her as her face showed recognition of where he was going.  Then he said, “Percy not only remembered the ridiculous title and author, but either researched or remembered why you’d need it.”

“I see what you’re saying, Harry.  I’m impressed with him.  We’re either very in tune with each other naturally; or he’s really prioritizing me.  It doesn’t make it all that much easier, though,” she said seriously. 

“Well, take your time.  Percy doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.  I know this might be a low blow, but Ron wouldn’t want you to be alone if you could be happy with someone else.  I mean it’s one thing if you’re happiest by yourself.  It’s not like you need someone around.  If there was ever a woman who doesn’t need a man, it is you.  Your independence is a little scary, ‘Mione.  On that same note though, it gives you the freedom to want someone instead of needing them.  I think Percy would be very happy if you decided you wanted him.”  Hermione looked contemplative. Harry took the opportunity to cast a tempus.  He wondered how long they’d been away.  It wasn’t terribly long, but it was beginning to border on impolite.

“We should get back to the party, though.  I’ve been told it’s rude for the host to leave the guests unattended for too long.”  Hermione huffed at his suggestion.

“Really, Harry, when are you going to learn?  The people downstairs aren’t your guests…,” Harry lifted an eyebrow at her.  “They’re your family, and family comes and goes as they please.  No host needed.”

When they got back to the parlor, Harry was smiling.  He had a large family now. He instantly caught Remus’ eye, and felt his heartbeat quicken.  Teddy was in his arms sleeping.  They smiled at each other.  For the first time that night, Harry didn’t care who saw it or what they thought of it.

……

Harry had estimated there would be a mass exodus of guests around eleven, and had been mostly correct.  He was off on the time by about half an hour.  Most people were gone by ten thirty.  The last people to leave were the first to arrive.  Andy, Narcissa, and Draco had stayed a little later.  Andy was reluctant to give up free time with her grandson, even if he was sleeping.  Draco was unable to get away sooner since Dudley clung to Draco’s company like a life raft.  It was strange to be in a room where Draco Malfoy was considered the safest option for anyone.  Yet, it made sense.  Draco had never done anything to Dudley other than be mostly friendly, normal, and helpful towards him.  This stood in stark contrast to several of his other guests.

Throughout the night, Mr. Weasely had fired questions at him about muggle items.  Watching Dudley try to explain radio waves was particularly entertaining.  Mrs. Weasely fussed over him.  At first, his cousin enjoyed the attention; but it quickly became Mrs. Weasely’s brand of somewhat smothering.  George kept trying to get him to eat mysterious candies, Dudley wisely declined.  Andy and Narcissa gave him the third degree.  Harry felt bad for Dudley then.  The two women were terrifying.  Luna had been herself which had unnerved him.  At the mention of Nargles, he turned green.  Ginny had mostly left him alone.  However, Hagrid had taken an overabundance of interest.  Hagrid started by complimenting him on how he’d helped out at St. Mungo’s.  Then he apologized for losing his temper and giving Dudley the tail.  The reminder of the transfigured tail and all the clapping of his back had Dudley looking a little terrified.  The rest of the night, Dudley kept his rear end either in a sear or up against a wall.  By the time the last guests departed, Dudley looked exhausted and a little overwhelmed.  So, Dudley did not see the last three guests out.  After politely thanking them for their attendance, he trudged up the stair to his room.  Remus and Harry saw them out. 

“Narcissa, thank you so much for coming,” Harry said politely.

“Not at all, it was a pleasure to meet your cousin.  He seems to be a very sweet young man.  He reminds me of my Lucius,” Harry’s jaw slackened at that.  Narcissa chuckled richly.  “Not the façade he shows the world, but my Lucius all the same.  Lucius was raised all the wrong ways.  He’s done some things that he isn’t proud of, but he would do anything for his family.  Draco always knew that he was the center of his father’s universe, that Lucius loved him no matter what.  Not all of the decisions he’s made were right; but I know Draco and I are always at the forefront of his mind while he made them.  Your cousin is much the same.  He has made poor choices in the past, but he is trying to better for his daughter.  You only need to see young Dudley with his sweet daughter to know that he’d do anything for her.” 

Harry wasn’t entirely sure what to say in return.  It was odd thinking of Lucius Malfoy as a good man from any perspective.  Though, Harry could understand what she was getting at.  If it seemed like the right call regarding someone he loved, Harry would probably tattoo his entire body with Dark Marks.  So, he closed his mouth and nodded his head in agreement. 

“I really enjoyed tonight.  I hope we can return the invitation soon.”  Narcissa smiled warmly at Harry.

“I look forward to it,” Harry grinned.  Narcissa ruffled his hair then exited via floo.  Harry turned and was met with Draco’s smirk.

Draco leaned in and said quietly, “I’m glad you two cleared up your little spat.  I expect details at your earliest convenience.  Thanks for the invite, Harry.”

“Sod off, Draco,” Harry replied a little annoyed.  Draco just chuckled at his clearly ruffled feathers.  Then, he followed his mother’s example and flooed out. 

Andromeda followed on their heels after promising to stop by later in the week.  She often used one of the guest rooms for extended visits.  If those visits happened to coincide with the full moon, then it didn’t need to be remarked upon.  She cupped Harry’s cheek before following her sister and nephew through the flames.  According to the grandfather clock in the corner, the flames returned to their orange-red color by fifteen minutes to eleven.  An invisible weight lifted from Harry’s shoulders.  He sighed and caught Remus’ gaze as he leaned against the mantle. 

“So…,”Harry struggled for something to say.

“So…,” Remus repeated.  He was staring at Harry in a way that made the younger man’s stomach flutter. 

“Er… Do you want…,” Harry was unable to finish offering a nightcap.  Remus had made a decision about what he wanted in that moment.  Apparently, he wanted to kiss Harry senseless.  A desire to which, Harry had no objections.

They stood there with Harry’s back pressed against the mantle and fireplace edge with Remus’ hands on his hips; kissing like their lives depended on it.  Harry gasped for air, and Remus attacked his neck.  Harry moaned as Remus peppered kisses up and down his neck.  Remus groaned, and Harry panted.  Remus raised his head to look Harry in the eye.  The werewolf smirked at him.  Harry was just about to ask what was going on in the wolf’s head when Harry was twisted and compressed through the snap of apparation.  They landed gracelessly in the middle of Remus’ bed.

“I could’ve used a little warning, Moons!  I don’t fancy having my bits splinched because you’re too hasty to walk,” Harry snapped a little annoyed. 

“Harry, I would never have splinched your bits.  A gentlemen always risks own bits when apparating into bed.  Trust me, your bits had my complete attention,” Remus said with a lusty grin as he ground his hard, clothed, length against Harry’s.  Harry groaned, and Remus chuckled before continuing.  “Otherwise, your concerns are duly noted,” Remus agreed before delving back onto Harry’s lips. 

Though a bit annoyed at Remus’ methods, Harry had to admit that this position on a bed was far more comfortable than being pressed against the edge of the fireplace and mantle.  Their kisses were passionate and needy, but less urgent than earlier.  They were no less addictive, however.  Each kiss left Harry with a desire for more.  The effect was almost dizzying, and Harry broke them apart to collect some air. 

Remus shifted to the side and looked at him.  Harry felt a strong fluttering in his stomach.  Remus’ hands had worked their way down to where his shirt met his trousers.  They stopped there and were gently massaging his hips.  His own hands had found their way to the top button of his cardigan. They were both breathing heavily.  The question whether to continue permeated the air between them.  To give voice to it; to actually ask; to speak would cause cold reality to come crashing through their current bliss.  As fun as it had been before, Harry knew that this wasn’t leading towards another hand job.  The issue here, in no uncertain terms, was sex and whether or not they’d be having it. 

Harry knew he should pause and think about.  That he should slow them down.  He knew they desperately needed to talk about their changing relationship.  They needed to answer questions about what they were to each other now.  Harry knew that he didn’t usually feel so permissive about sex so soon.  He liked the slow, steady, logical build on physical intimacy.  That was how things happened with Fred.  It started with kisses and worked its way to sex with stops at making out, hand jobs, and blow jobs along the way.  Moreover, Harry found the progression necessary because to him there was no distinction between physical and emotional intimacy.  He had lost his heart at Fred’s tender touch in direct proportion to how much they were touching.  Harry knew if they continued that he risked falling for someone that might not be feeling it back.  Remus could just be using this as some sort of rebound from Tonks.  Harry knew that Remus could take himself and Teddy away if this went bad, and that would rip his world apart. Harry knew all of this in his head, and he knew none of it mattered.  The overwhelming feelings of rightness, lust, and affection formed an impregnable defense against such thoughts.

It seemed pretty clear the Remus was waiting for him to make the first move.  Harry rose from where he’d been laying and pushed Remus onto his back.  Harry then proceeded to straddle the werewolf’s hips; he groaned at the feeling of Remus’ hard cock beneath him.  Remus, for his part, just looked amused at Harry’s gentle manhandling.  Harry gave him a grin, reached down, and ripped the werewolf’s cardigan open. 

“Oi, I like this sweater.  Careful with the clothes, you imp,” Remus censured lightly before he grabbed the bottom of Harry’s shirt and started to tug it upwards.  The action was like striking a match on petrol covered wood.  The removal of that one item of clothing caused a burning desire to tear off the rest of the other’s clothes.  There were kisses and touches as clothes were shred from them.  Stripping each other was always more intense the muggle way than with a spell.  It wasn’t as easy, though.  Lips mashed together gracelessly as hands fumbled.  There were some tears that would need to be mended and some buttons wen flying, but they were quickly down to their skivvies.  Harry looked down at Remus and felt his mouth go dry.  He wanted so many things at once that he felt somewhat stunned.

Sensing some sort of anxiety Remus said softly, “We don’t have to do this.  If you’re uncomfortable at any point, I’ll stop.  You don’t have to push yourself, darling.”  Harry shook his head.

“No, it’s not that I want to stop.  I just want to do many things and I don’t know where to start.  I want to touch you,” he said lightly running his fingers along the werewolf’s scars. 

“I want to taste every millimeter of your body.”  He leaned down to lick from Remus’ collarbone to his Adam’s apple. 

“I want you inside me; shagging me into next week.”  He ground his hips into the hard length he was perched upon.  Remus groaned and grabbed his arse before bucking his own hips in return. 

“The problem is I want all of it at once, and I just didn’t know where to start,” he muttered and blushed.  Remus chuckled. 

“Do as you will, Harry.  There’s no way you can go wrong,” the werewolf permitted.  Harry looked him in the eyes and saw the clear, unadulterated, passion lurking in them.  Harry smirked as he began his sensual assault.

Harry leaned down and kissed Remus about the neck before beginning his journey south.  He planted a trail of kisses downward.  He stopped at Remus’ nipples.  He licked each until they were hard and pointy, and Remus was moaning and squirming beneath him.  He bit each lightly then continued his quest south.  He paid extra attention the area around the belly button; taking time to lick and suck little love bites along his stomach. There were so many scars on his sternum, and Harry made sure to kiss each one.  It was as if he expected to erase the old hurts by kissing and sucking love bites by leaving his mark.  Remus shivered at the creation of the small love bites on his skin and the treatment of his scars.  Harry grinned then followed the light-brown treasure trail to the elastic of Remus’ underwear.  He looked up at Remus, who nodded encouragingly, then gently pushed his undergarments down. 

Remus’ cock sprang forward.  It was rock hard and leaking copious amounts of pre-come.  It was long, thick, and topped by a perfectly shaped bell end.  It was a little larger than what Harry guessed as average.  This estimation was based on his limited experience that comprised mostly of Fred, some wizard porn, and the accidental glimpses that happened at a school where showers and dorms are communal.  All in all, it made for a mouthwatering sight, and Harry had to resist the urge to pounce on it.  He wanted to take his time.  Barely removing Remus’ pants to launch into a blow job was not conducive to that goal. 

So, he started on Remus’ hip bones.  He followed the lines from his hip bones towards the pelvis.  He made sure to kiss, lick, and suck the skin where the legs and pelvis met.  This elicited the most amazing noises from the older man.  Harry moved to the upper thighs and proceeded to suck a love bite or two into them.   Remus practically howled in pleasure at the attention.  Harry sucked one more hickey into Remus’ skin before moving up a little; smirking at his sandy haired companion; and licking Remus’ cock from root to tip.

“Merlin,” Remus gasped.

“It’s, Harry, actually,” Harry grinned.

Remus smiled and said, “Well, whoever-you-are, you’re free to do that as much as you like.”

Harry took the hint and licked him from root to tip again.  He repeated the move once more then started to suck Remus’ cock in earnest.  He licked a bit of pre-come from the tip.  The flavor was a salty and a little bitter, and Harry savored it for a beat.  Then he took the tip into his mouth and began to suck.  Remus moaned.  Harry’s head began to bob.  On each downward pass, he would take in more of Remus’ cock.  He would vary his motion every so often to pay attention to the head; running his tongue along the head as he sucked; using his hands along the shaft.  Remus was moaning loudly and had moved a hand to Harry’s head.  He wasn’t pushing Harry down, which was appreciated; but the fingers were wound tightly through his hair.  It was as if Remus’ was using Harry’s head as some sort of anchor to keep him from getting too rough.  Harry continued his efforts until his head was pulled away.  Harry looked up at Remus confused.

“That was wonderful, but I don’t want our fun to end too quickly.  I’m not as young as you.  Even with the wolf-y parts of me helping, I need a bit of time to recover,” Remus panted in explanation.

“I’m so sorry, old chap.  Maybe we should just retire and give your frail bones a rest,” Harry cheeked.  Remus growled.

“I’ll show you old and frail, imp,” Remus said fondly as he rolled them over so that he was back on top of Harry.  Harry grinned at him.  Remus grinned back then kissed him lovingly.  The feeling of rightness surged through Harry.  Harry moaned into the kiss, and Remus moved his hands to the elastic of Harry’s pants.  Harry broke their kiss and whispered:

“Merlin, yes!”

Remus took his cue and pulled down Harry’s underwear as he attacked Harry’s offered neck.  For the second time that day, Harry was naked with the werewolf.  Harry felt relief wash over him as his aching cock was freed from the last of its confines.  Remus reached a hand down and stroked him as he continued to nip and suck at his neck.  Harry’s brain quickly compared this to his dream Remus’ technique and new that there was no real comparison.  Reality was so much better. 

His mind was brought back to the present by Remus’ lips moving down his body.  The werewolf nipped and sucked all along his collar. Then he went lower and worried Harry’s nipples between his teeth.  Harry’s back arched at the touch.  Remus paused briefly to give him a mischievous grin.  Then, he licked and sucked each nipple until Harry was panting with need.  He looked up at Harry and his eyes were filled with lust.  Harry just nodded at some unasked question.  Then Remus scooted down and took Harry’s cock to the root in one gulp.

Harry nearly flew off the bed in pleasure, but Remus’ hands held him mostly in place.  As Remus bobbed his head, he moved one of his hands in a familiar way.  Harry felt the cleansing spell wash through him.  It was followed almost instantly by the motions for wordless and wandless lubricant.  Remus’ fingers began to brush against his entrance.  Harry groaned.  Remus’ skill had him close to the point of no return. 

“Remus, I’m going to cum if you keep this up,” Harry said breathlessly. 

Remus ceased sucking Harry’s cock with a satisfying “pop.”  He grinned at his handiwork before moving his mouth lower still.  Harry groaned as Remus gently licked and sucked his balls.  Then, he moved lower still and licked at Harry’s puckered entrance.  At that first press of tongue, Harry moaned desperately.  Remus proceeded to alternate between eating him out and preparing him.  Harry was close to becoming a whimpering mess.  The sensations of rightness and pleasure had robbed him of any thoughts more complex than begging for more.  Remus happily obliged by adding or moving his fingers.  Remus’ fingers were preparing him with haste and efficacy, but still tenderly.  Every so often they would crook and hit his prostate, and Harry would see stars.  He was hovering on the edge when Remus withdrew his fingers. 

“Are you sure, Harry,” Remus breathed desperately.

“Merlin, yes; are you,” Harry pleaded back thrusting his hips upward. 

Remus didn’t voice his reply.  Instead, he conjured more lube and applied it to himself.  After that, he pushed Harry’s thighs wide and a bit back.  Then, he lined himself with Harry’s entrance and pushed forward gently. Harry closed his as he felt himself stretch around the intrusion inch by inch.  Surprisingly, there was no discomfort.  He merely felt full incredibly full as Remus bottomed out within him.  Once fully sheathed, Remus paused.  Whether this was to give Harry time to adjust or to regain control over his own hormones, Harry couldn’t be sure.  However, he thought it was probably the later since Remus trembled a bit once he bottomed out.  Harry peered at the older man through half-lidded eyes.  Remus met his gaze and smiled.  Harry smiled back.  Remus bent his head and gave Harry another one of his soul searing kisses.

They kissed for just a bit before Harry became impatient.  Lips still attached to one another, Harry began to shift his hips experimentally.  He felt Remus grin on his lips as the werewolf thrust forward forcibly.  The way their hips were canted caused the thrust to stimulate Harry’s prostate, and Harry practically screamed in pleasure.  Remus then proceeded to withdraw almost entirely before thrusting back into Harry at the same exact angle.  Then he withdrew again.

“Oh, Merlin,” Harry moaned hoarsely. 

“Who’s old and frail again,” Remus asked huskily.  Harry writhed desperately beneath him.

“I don’t bloody well care!  Just keep…  Merlin, Remus… more,” Harry demanded thrusting his hips to encourage the werewolf to move.   

Remus wasted no time in complying.  He thrust in and out of Harry in quick but hard strokes.  As his thrust became more rhythmic, Harry matched the older man thrust for thrust.  Remus lips found his neck again and began to lick and suck his super sensitive skin there.  Harry ran his fingers up and down Remus’ spine in a mix between massage and back scratching.  Then they met and kissed again.  All this was done without skipping a beat in their rhythmic motions.  They carried on that way until Harry was sweaty and panting for release while Remus was sweating with exertion and grimacing to keep control of his orgasm. 

“Harry, I’m almost…”

“…Me too…”

“Gods, you’re so bloody tight… Feels bloody amazing…,” Remus grunted.  His thrusts became frantic and less rhythmic.  Harry was lost in the sensations of it all. 

“Remus, I’m… I’m… Ahhh…,” Harry screamed his release.  His vision whited out as he came over their abdomens. 

In his orgasm, he experienced a small moment of clarity.  Something Remus had told him months ago popped back into his mind, _“…A tell, like sweaty palms every time you think of or are near that person.  Mine was itchy elbows until we got together.  Acceptance of your soulmate is the only thing that will alleviate the symptoms._ ”  It overlapped with Hermione suggesting he consider why no one, other than Remus, could touch him.  That was his tell.  Remus could touch him when others couldn’t.  Remus John Lupin; twenty years his senior; former marauder; one of his dad’s best friends; past and present teacher; spouse of his dead godfather; self-sacrificing werewolf; and cardigan addict extraordinaire was magically chosen for him.  Remus was his soulmate.

“Harry,” Remus shuddered as he reached his own peak almost simultaneously. 

On some instinct, Harry pulled him into his embrace just as Remus leaned down.  They were kissing again: lazy, soft, reassuring little kisses that lingered.  Remus broke their kissing and removed himself from Harry.  Harry groaned a bit at the loss. Remus cast a cleansing charm on them before pulling Harry into his embrace.  He then glanced at the clock he kept beside his bed. 

“Happy Halloween, Harry,” Remus whispered in his ear.  Harry stiffened a bit.  His whole world was tilting crazily at his revelation.  Somehow, he managed to find his wits and respond.

“Happy Halloween, Remus,” he replied lamely.

“What’s wrong, darling,” Remus asked concerned.  “Did I hurt you?  Are you upset?”

“No, it’s nothing like that,” Harry turned to face the older man.  He reached his hand up and cupped Remus’ face.  “I just came to a realization, and I’m trying to wrap my head around it.  Everything we just did was perfect… better than, actually.”

Harry paused a moment.  He took a deep breath for courage then said, “I figured out why I only can manage your touch.”

Remus’ face and eyes mimicked the look he had the night of Fred’s funeral when Harry had asked him about being Sirius’ soulmate.  A thousand emotions seemed to flood them at once, and Harry couldn’t read his expression. 

“Well, it certainly took you long enough,” Remus said before leaning in to kiss him lightly on his forehead.  Harry scowled unamused.

“You and I need to have a long chat.”


	10. The Wolf and His First Soulmate

Upon arriving back home, Harry nearly flung himself into his chair.  Christmas shopping in Diagon Alley had seemed like a good idea to Harry.  The past few weeks had been trying. Between Remus being Remus; taking his NEWTs; the overwhelming feelings of absence and guilt; and the general stress of the approaching holiday, Harry thought that some Christmas shopping would give him some much needed cheering.  He had been wrong.  Diagon Alley had been overflowing with witches and wizards shopping for loved ones.  He had been shoved, kicked, and yelled at during his excursion.  It probably didn’t help that, thanks to everything going on, he’d been feeling queasy and exhausted for the past two weeks.  He’d actually thrown up two mornings ago, and when he passed through the Leaky Cauldron today he almost cast his accounts at the smell of sausages frying in a pan.  So, all in all his excursion had failed to provide any of the expected cheering.  If there was one upside, it was he had been able to complete the vast majority of his shopping. 

If he was being honest with himself, Harry would have to admit that he went overboard.  Teddy and Iris each had a pile of items large enough to swim in consisting of clothes, toys, and two brooms.  Though they were still too small to use them as trainer brooms, the brooms allowed for attachment to adult brooms.  The charms made the little brooms operate like a motorcycle sidecar with more safety.  Harry liked how useful they were.  In addition, he felt it imperative that he provide his godson with a broom.  A surge of sentimentality had him thinking of receiving his Firebolt from Sirius in the middle of the shop.  He’d been badly embarrassed when he realized a tear or two had escaped his eyes.  Thankfully, no one else seemed to notice. 

Dudley’s gifts came from the Quidditch shop as well.  His cousin, who took to magic like a fish to water, had asked for a broom of his own and some Quidditch equipment.  Dudley had been out of the hospital about a week when Harry and Draco to popped him on a broom.  Harry felt a petty sort of relief that Dudley didn’t take to flying as easily as he had, but he was still quite impressive.  Draco gave him a beater’s bat and the rest was history.  When they played currently, he had to use an old spare broom from the Malfoy’s and old, rundown, equipment.  Since they (Harry, Draco, Dudley, George, Percy, and Neville) had started playing more often, Harry felt it was time for Dudley to have the proper equipment.  He’d gotten his cousin a set of Quidditch robes, two helmets, two bats, and a gift card that would cover about half the price of a broom.  He almost just bought a broom for his cousin, but figured this way Dudley could get what he wanted.  Besides, he couldn’t quite justify the expense.  Dudley had enough money of his own to get a broom, especially with the gift card covering between half and a third of the total expense.  This had the additional benefit of allowing Dudley to choose the broom he liked best.  Though Harry was loyal to his Firebolt, they weren’t as suited to beaters as they were to seekers.

For Mr. and Mrs. Weasely, he’d bought them a trip to Romania that they could redeem at any point.  He could already hear their protests, but Harry didn’t really care.  To Harry’s knowledge, they hadn’t been to Romania since his first year. It would do them well to visit again; they needed a vacation after the events of the year.  Besides, they didn’t see enough of their second eldest son.  Ron was going to be the recipient of a new wizards chess set, some robes, and a large box of chocolates from Honeydukes.  For George, he’d purchased a new cauldron set and some rare potions ingredients. Draco was also going to receive some rare potions ingredients.  Harry was also giving him, along with Percy and Hermione, a bestselling potions book.  In addition to the book, Hermione was getting a fancy stationary set; a watch that was like Mrs. Weasely’s clock; and an enchanted book mark that could multiply itself ten times for ten different books.  His gift list was large and he had many trinkets for everyone else. 

The only person he hadn’t bought anything for was Remus.  He had no idea what to get his reluctant soulmate.  He knew in his heart what he wanted Remus to want.  Harry really wished Remus would ask something romantic of him.  Harry wanted to give him something romantic.  In Diagon Alley earlier, he’d drooled over these matching bracelets at a jewelry shop.  They were silver with a gem that changed color if the counterpart’s wearer was in danger.  The sign underneath them said that they could be charmed to apparate the wearers together in times of danger as well.   They were simplistic, masculine, and yet aesthetically pleasing.  Harry almost bought them, but decided better of it.  Apart from their exceptionally brief honeymoon before the November moon, there had not been any new developments on that front.  Remus had insisted on putting their more intimate relationship on hold until he turned nineteen much to Harry’s chagrin.  The echoes of their conversation Halloween night reverberated in his head as he closed his eyes and tried to focus.

......

“You and I need to have a long chat,” Harry said grimly.  His body had stiffened and was about to pull away from the man next to him.  Something hurt about the fact that Remus knew and didn’t say anything.  He may not have been perfect, but many would think being Harry Potter’s soulmate wasn’t a bad thing.  He had expected Remus to be reluctant, but this was somehow worse.  It was a quiet sort of rejection and it hurt. 

“Don’t, Harry, please don’t,” Remus whispered in his ear drawing him closer.  “I was going to tell you, if you didn’t figure it out soon.”

“I don’t believe you.  I feel it in my gut when you’re lying to me.  Am I really so terrible?  Is everything we just did so awful,” Harry trembled as he interrogated.  Whether he was trembling in anger or pain, he wasn’t sure.  Both emotions were coursing through his veins.  Remus’ silence at the accusation spoke louder than any spoken confession.  Harry wanted out.  Everything about the day had just been tainted.  He moved to leave the bed, but was held tightly in place by the much larger and stronger wolf.

“Please let me explain,” Remus’ voice trembled. 

“What explanation could you possibly offer?  It’s really simple.  I know you don’t want me,” Harry lamented.  “I suppose I should be used to it.  Now will you please let me go?  I’d like to keep what little dignity I have left.”

“Merlin, Harry, I it’s not that simple.  I want you.  I wanted this.  How could anyone not?  It’s like I said before, “Against all reason, propriety, and probably morality…”  Please, let me explain,” Remus pleaded with him.  Harry drew a breath.  If he fought him on it, Harry knew that Remus would let him leave.  His hold may have been strong, but it wasn’t forceful.  However, Harry knew deep in his heart that he needed to hear the man out.  He nodded his head and scooched around to get comfortable.

“Alright, Moons, talk to me.”

“I had my first inkling around the time we collected your cousins from the muggles.  I wasn’t positive at first.  It was just a gut feeling that I was missing something between us.  It wasn’t until I figured out my own “tell” that I knew.  It dawned on me the morning after the moon earlier this month.  I felt off.  I didn’t feel right until I came back.  You ran up to me and hugged me. The minute my arms were around you, I felt better.  When I thought about it later, I noticed that for months I’d been using any excuse to get you into my embrace.  For months, I had been feeling better the minute I held onto you.  When I realized what it all meant, I panicked,” Remus said steadily.  It sounded like he was trying to control something with his voice, like he was treading carefully through a minefield.  Harry figured it was either to keep his own emotions in check or to assure that Harry didn’t try to bolt again.  Harry, however, had no desire to run.  The desire to bicker, however, was burning bright.

“What is so bad about me that caused you to panic,” Harry bit out.  “I’m not delusional that the world would be easily accepting, but we are soulmates.  Magic people should understand, and who the bloody hell cares anyway?  What is so bad about the situation it caused you to panic?”  Harry was quietly fuming at this point.

“What’s so upsetting about our situation,” Remus echoed coldly.  “Where should I start?  There are so many things.” 

“Firstly, there’re several facts about us that aren’t going to change.  You’re twenty years my junior.  I know Dora was younger than me, but this is a whole new level of cradle robbing.  Dora hasn’t even been gone a year.  It may come as a surprise, but I did have a great of affection for my wife.  I feel so guilty for wanting someone else, even a soulmate, so soon.  You look a great deal like my dead best friend.  Though I’m not going to mistake you for him, I can’t wait to read the _Prophet’s_ speculations into that when this gets out.  And let’s not kid ourselves; it will get out.  Your godfather was my first soulmate, and had things gone according to plan I would have been responsible for raising you.  So, not only am I old enough to be your father; I actually should’ve been like another parent to you.  Even if all that weren’t true, you’d still be a student of mine.  I was an actual teacher of yours in your third year. Now, I’m your tutor.  It reeks of impropriety,” Remus pointed out hollowly.  The control he was exercising was somewhat impressive.  Harry would probably have started yelling by now.  Harry felt Remus’ tension.  It was strange to be cuddled up into each other while having an argument.  However, he wasn’t surprised by the list overall.  He’d been expecting it since this afternoon.

“That was part of the reason I panicked,” Remus said softly.  “There’s a bunch of things that are a little strange about the two of us.  I probably shouldn’t care about most of it, but I can’t help myself.  It’s important to me to be moral and ethical.  It’s important to me that the world sees me that way.  I am a werewolf, and I have neither money nor influence.  Not being the monster people think me to be is all I…”  He trailed off then. Harry could understand where he was coming from, but he was still annoyed in a way.  They’d been over it a thousand times; Remus was not a monster.  He had no idea what else he could say to reassure the man, so he let out a long suffering sigh and said nothing.  Remus would never understand that it was the world that needed to change.  In Harry’s book, Remus shouldn’t feel the need to be more than normal.  But, he knew there would be no convincing him tonight.  So, Harry let them cuddle quietly for a minute before pushing the werewolf back into conversation.

“So, what are the other things that cause you so much dread where I’m concerned, Moons?  My rotten luck?  My hair that won’t lay flat?  Your werewolf nose finds me smelly,” Harry joked depreciatingly.  Remus pulled him closer and buried his head into Harry’s shoulder.  He planted a gentle kiss in the crook of Harry’s neck and Harry softened a little. 

“Come on, Moons.  Can it really be worse than implying that being with me will corrupt your reputation,” Harry asked a little dryly.

“If I’m honest it might be,” he replied humorlessly.   Harry steeled himself the best he could for whatever he was about to hear.

“My second issue was actually easily dismissed.  I thought that you knew and hated it.  I realized fairly quickly that it was more likely you were unaware, but the thought still crossed my mind.  I wouldn’t have blamed you.  I know this can’t be easy on you.  The previously mentioned reasons apply to you as well as me.  The issue of age, in particular, must be off putting to you.  I know Siri always resented how young we were when we figured it out,” Remus ended tensely.  Harry felt his heart begin to race.  After asking repeatedly and being denied each time, they were finally going to talk about Sirius.  Something about how Remus had said Sirius’ name, mentioned his godfather’s opinion, made Harry sure of it.  In an ironic twist, Harry was suddenly worried he wasn’t ready to hear it. 

“I guess that leads me to the third reason.  After Pads, I never wanted another soulmate.  For a million reasons, good and bad, I never wanted to be bound the way soulmates are for a second time.”

“I’m not Sirius,” Harry offered as a gentle argument.  “Was it really so bad that you won’t give us a chance?”

“Yes and no, it’s not about Sirius.  It’s also all about Sirius in a way.  See, he always resented being tied together so young.  He was the epitome of youth when we were young.  He was this vivacious, fickle, energetic, flirtatious, brilliant, impetuous, recklessly brave, and beautiful creature.  He shone bright as the star he was named for.  People flocked to him.  I couldn’t understand how magic determined such a lively, warm, wonderful man was my perfect match; but I was so grateful it did.  I didn’t fall in love with Sirius; I plummeted into it head first.  Sirius, in his typical fashion, rebelled against the bond.”

“He would flirt shamelessly.  Other men, other women, some of our professors, and I’m pretty sure a centaur or two were all fair game,” Remus chuckled lightly.  “Merlin, I think if your father hadn’t been crazy about your mum, even he would have been fair game.  He dated, kissed, and all but shagged others in front of me.  For him, there was no reason to be serious so early in life.  He figured that we had our whole lives ahead of us.  I told you before that the magic doesn’t perfect the relationship.  Well, it doesn’t force fidelity either.  It was difficult to watch.”  Harry stiffened.  A small bout of rage bloomed in him at this revelation.  It killed him to think that Sirius would treat Remus like that. Remus seemed to sense his anger.  He felt the silent chuckle from the man snuggled next to him.

“Relax, darling.  It’s not like I was expected to wait around for him.  I was free to pursue others as well.  I just couldn’t.  It felt wrong to me.  I’m not sure if it’s a thing particular to me or a werewolf thing, but I tend to be very monogamous.  For a while, it really didn’t bother me.  He had a point in a weird way.  We had the rest of our lives to be together.  There was no point in skipping to the end.  It probably helped that the 1970’s was a very accepting decade for alternative relationships.  “If you love it; set it free,” was a real thing then.  Besides, I always trusted Padfoot with...  well, with everything.  So, it didn’t really bother me.  At least, I trusted him fully until the fiasco with Severus.”

“When I think about it, that’s where our problems really started.  I don’t know what went through his pretty head setting Severus up like that.  In my mind, the most innocent explanation is Sirius didn’t think I was all that dangerous.  We’d been changing forms together for a while.  There hadn’t been any real problems.  Additionally, a werewolf can’t harm his soulmate whatever their form.  So, I really hope that was it.  That Sirius thought it would be an extremely scary, but ultimately harmless, prank.  At worst…,” he trailed off for a moment.  Harry felt him draw a deep breath that seemed to help him collect his thoughts before continuing.

“See, it wasn’t just that Severus was almost killed.  It’s that Sirius knew how I would’ve felt about the whole situation.  My werewolf status was my biggest secret, and I wanted it kept that way.  But more importantly, I never want to hurt anyone while I’m a wolf.  It is the thing I fear most in the world, and he knew it.  Sirius knew all of that.  So, the worst motive I can think of is:  Sirius knowingly or uncaringly used me; in a way that risked my biggest fear coming to fruition; while obliterating my privacy; all for a schoolboy’s grudge.  He didn’t care about me enough to not use me to prank Severus.  In any event, it shattered the trust between us, and I’m not sure we ever properly put it back together.” 

Remus’ voice was wavering.  Harry could hear the effect of the old hurts in the tawny haired man’s voice.  Harry’s brain was whirling again.  He was trying to rectify the godfather he had known and loved with the boy that was being described.  It was like the day he peered at Snape’s memory all over again.  It was disappointing and difficult to reconcile.  He patted Remus’ arm in what he hoped was an understanding fashion.  It was also his way of gently urging the man to continue. 

“It got better for a little while,” Remus continued quietly.  “Sirius never really apologized for the incident.  I’m not certain he ever fully understood why I was angry at him over it.  But, we put it past us for a solid couple of years.  By the time we graduated, he had started to mature.  He’d stopped flirting with everything that moved.  We were officially together and monogamous.  We were beginning to settle.  We had a small flat here in London.  He went into Auror training with your father.  I continued my studies and took any job that would hire me.  I guess that brief time between graduation and our full commitment to the war was something of a honeymoon for us.  Things regressed around the time your mum was pregnant.  By then, the Order knew there was a mole in our ranks.  Our trust issues came back to bite a large chunk out of both of our arses.  We suspected each other.  When we weren’t out on missions, we fought often over our little accusations and slights.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to love someone you don’t trust,” Remus asked rhetorically. 

“After your parents died, the whole thing hit its low point.  When Siri figured it out, he did the impetuous, stupid, and brave thing by confronting that rat.  I resented him for it.  The scene he caused with Pettigrew left me without explanation, friend, or lover.  It’s like he never thought of me when he acted.  He didn’t think about how alone I’d be if anything happened to him; how much I’d miss him. For all our problems, he was the man I loved.  In a way, it was a repeat of the incident with Severus.  He either unthinkingly or uncaringly chose to…,” he trailed off for a moment before continuing.  “I suppose I’m being a bit harsh on him.  It’s just that for the twelve years he was imprisoned, I felt off kilter.  The transformations were awful, even with the wolfsbane.  I missed him terribly... I missed them all terribly.  I couldn’t move forward.  While Sirius was chained to Azkaban, the soul bond chained me to him, to the past,” he said softly. 

“I never… I didn’t realize it was.  I’m sorry, Moons,” Harry said.  The anger and annoyance he had felt towards Remus had mostly dissipated.  What little remained, had shifted into confusing emotions about his godfather and the situation in general. 

“I never wanted you to think badly of Sirius.  I hope that you aren’t.  By the time he escaped Azkaban, he had settled down in many ways.  He hadn’t changed much in others.  When he fell through the veil…,” Remus’ voice wavered.  Harry didn’t need him to finish the thought.  A heap of guilt and remorse settled in his chest as he remembered clinging to the werewolf as they both broke down in the middle of battle.  He felt some comfort when Remus drew him in closer. 

“It wasn’t your fault.  Voldemort tricked many people.  It didn’t help that Sirius was an adrenaline addict jonesing for excitement, and he wanted to help you.  He hated how much he wasn’t able to do that when you were a child.  He loved you very much.  You were his son in many ways.  I don’t know if I should feel like a shitty person because I never quite felt that; or if I should be relieved because it makes this a little easier.”

“I’d go with relieved.  I’m glad you were never like a father to me, at least in how I thought of you.  I always respected and admired you.  It’s just never quite been in a fatherly way.  Sirius, Dumbledore, Mr. Weasely, and Hagrid are more my father figures.  Mrs. Weasely, Andy, and oddly Hermione are my mother figures,” Harry explained as Remus chuckled lightly.

“Hermione reminds me a lot of your mum in a way.  Your mum was a bit more outspoken and emotional than Hermione, though.  Ron was the one that actually used to frighten me.  But for the obvious Weasely hair; my memories of Molly pregnant with him; and the fact your father was loyal as a hound dog, I would have worried Sirius and James had a love child somehow.  He seemed to have combined both of them in one personality,” Remus deadpanned.  Harry snorted.

“I wish I could argue, but I keep thinking of Ron in our fifth year after he won the house cup. He kept running his fingers through his hair while his chest was puffed out with pride.  I was forcefully reminded of the snatches of dad I saw in Snape’s memory,” Harry explained.  “I think we’ve gotten a bit off topic, though.  What are we going to do, Moons? I don’t think going backwards is an option.”

“No, backwards is not an option,” Remus agreed softly. 

They talked into the wee hours of the morning, and came to a tentative understanding.  By the time they drifted off to sleep, they had decided several things.  They had agreed that, though spectacular, this level of sexual intimacy would not be repeated until Harry turned nineteen.  Harry protested weakly on this point.  He saw no reason to hold off now that they had already broken the seal, but he also didn’t want to force the issue.  If Remus was unwilling to any degree for any reason, it felt wrong to push.  However, Harry made Remus agree to revisit the issue any time it was brought up.  They also agreed that they would continue sharing a bed, cuddles, and some kisses.  Both enjoyed those activities, and had the added benefit of quieting the wolfish part of Remus.  For Remus’ peace of mind, Harry promised to use the next few months to partake in age appropriate activities.  Harry sent a silent thanks to Merlin that Remus didn’t qualify what he thought age appropriate meant.  He wouldn’t mind seeing more of his friends and playing more Quidditch, but the ideas of hard partying or bed hopping weren’t appealing.  They had also decided not to hide.  They weren’t going to run to the press, but if asked they wouldn’t deny being together in some fashion.  It wasn’t precisely what Harry had wanted, but Remus had pulled back less than expected and he considered it a small win.

……

Harry opened his eyes and looked down at the pile of gifts.  He sighed knowing he was no closer to having any idea what to get his semi-reluctant soulmate.  He summoned some parchment and ink.  Just as he was about to start brainstorming a gift for Remus, his stomach lurched.  He ran for the nearest toilet and proceeded to be violently ill.  He leaned his head against the pristinely kept porcelain bowl and waited for his stomach to settle. If this persisted he’d have to schedule a visit to see a healer.  However, throwing up twice and being tired didn’t really sound like any disease he could think of.  He was pulled out of his silent self-diagnosis by a gentle rapping on the door frame.

“Just a moment,” he called pitifully at one of the other two adults he lived with. 

“Harry, are you alright?  I heard you sick up.  Should I get someone for you,” he looked up to see his cousin standing in the doorway with a worried expression on his face. 

“I’m fine.  I think.  I probably just need to lie down for a while,” Harry tried to reassure, but it came out as a groan.

“Right, I believe you.  Sparkles,” his cousin called.  A small pop was heard upon the elf’s arrival. 

“Master Dudley,” Sparkles squeaked.

“Sparkles, would you go get Remus for me?  Tell him that my cousin is ill, and I would like him close in case he needs medical attention,” Harry glared at his cousin as Sparkles popped out of the bathroom. 

“I said I was fine, traitor,” Harry grumbled as his cousin pulled him to his feet.

“Harry, I just spent two months in St. Mungo’s.  Wizards and witches have a plethora of illnesses and sneaky ways to mess with each other’s health.  You’ve been looking ill for about two weeks now.  You’re coming out of a war, spearheading controversial legislation, and have a knack for landing yourself into trouble.  I may be new to this world, but I have learned all about what you’ve been doing the past eight years.  Now come on, Harry. Let’s move you into your bedroom,” Dudley argued good naturedly.  His rational and cheerful demeanor annoyed Harry to no end.

“Your worry is misplaced.  It’s probably just the flu.  Even wizards are subjected to diseases as boring as the flu.  I’ll be better in a jiff,” Harry could see that his words were having no effect.  He sighed in resignation.  Just as they were about to enter the bedroom, Remus caught up to them.

“Harry, are you alright,” he asked, concern dripping from his voice. 

“I’m fine, Remus,” Harry said through clenched teeth.  “My cousin is overreacting.  I’m a little under the weather, but I’m fine.  No one has hexed or cursed me.  I haven’t had anything strange to drink.  I understand the concern, but I’m alright.  I’ll go have a lie down and be right as rain by supper,” he insisted. 

Dudley rolled his eyes then said, “Like I said earlier, you are a prime target for nasty spells and potions.  You’re usually annoyingly healthy.”

“He’s right, love,” Remus murmured softly in his ear. Dudley grinned victoriously.  Harry scowled back.

“Two mother hens,” he groused.  “It’s probably just the flu or something.  If I’m still sick by the end of the week I’ll go see Poppy.”

“Whatever, Harry,” Dudley shrugged. 

They entered his room.  Zera greeted them with her trilling.  Harry set himself down on his bed, and Dudley and Remus started casting spells.  Ever the teacher, Remus couldn’t resist using this as an opportunity to teach Dudley and Harry about the spells and their uses.  Dudley soaked it all up.  Grumpy as he was, Harry’s heart felt a jolt watching Remus.  Remus was always aware of little things he could do to help his students.  He had noticed Dudley’s adept abilities in charms and was always springing small opportunities for Dudley to learn more in that field.  It was his quiet way of showing that he’d listened, that he cared; and Harry found that he quite loved that trait. 

They ran their diagnostic spells.  Nothing insidious showed on the scans.  That seemed to alleviate most of his cousin’s worries.  After they were finished, Dudley left the room with a small wave at them both.  When he was gone, Remus put his hand to Harry’s forehead to gauge his temperature. 

“Well, Doc, am I going to live,” Harry asked teasingly.  Though he would never admit it aloud, it was reassuring to know that he hadn’t been hit with a dark curse or dosed with some potion.

“You’re not running a temperature, but you’re clammy.  In my expert opinion, you’ll live.  I recommend a nap and light foods for dinner, though,” he teased right back. The hand on his forehead was now carding through his hair.  Harry leaned into the touch.

“Rest and light foods, Remus,” Harry asked purposefully incredulous.  “Here, I could have sworn the cure all would be chocolate.”

“Well, it’s good to know you’re not that sick.  You have enough health and energy to be cheeky.  To Poppy, if you don’t feel well by week’s end?”

“To Poppy, if I’m not better by the end of the holiday,” Harry parroted back.  “Thinking of the holiday, what would you like for Christmas?  Other than Honeyduke’s, I mean.”

“Oh, Harry, you don’t have to go through any trouble.  I’m sure I’ll appreciate whatever you give me.  You really don’t have to get me anyth…”

“Quit that right now, Moons,” Harry demanded.  “Everyone else is getting something.  You’ll be getting something too.  I just don’t know what…,” Harry trailed off.  His instincts were to get him some sort of ridiculously expensive jewelry, but he knew it was a bad idea.  Remus sighed and scooted to lie down next to him.  His hand never stopped it’s carding though Harry’s hair.

“Alright, darling, I won’t argue,” Remus relented.  “I’m sure I’ll love whatever you give me.  Don’t worry about it.  That goes double if you’re ill.  Take care of yourself first.  Although, I must confess I find myself in a similar position.  I have no idea what I should give you for Christmas.  What would you like, Harry?”

“Honestly,” Harry asked.

“Honestly,” Remus replied with sincerity.

“You and I locked in this room for a night or two, shagging each other’s brains out, and generally ignoring the world,” Harry answered.  He steeled himself inwardly for the rejection, but it didn’t work. Remus’ chuckle cut through him like a knife.

“Even while you’re sick, you’re still thinking about sex,” Remus said mirthfully.

“You could just say “no thanks.”  You don’t need to laugh at me, Moons,” Harry snapped at him. His whacky temper was rearing its ugly head.  He thought briefly about hexing his soulmate.  His mood seemed to break through Remus’ humor.  The werewolf cleared his throat.

“I only meant that I’m surprised you thought of it.  I didn’t mean to… I’m not saying it would be unwelcome.  I just..,” Remus sighed.  “It’s tempting.  I’m struggling with my own genius idea to abstain from sex.  Why did we agree on that again,” Remus groaned.

“You don’t want to touch me for reasons of age and propriety or something.  I don’t want to force you to do something you’re even just a little uncomfortable with,” Harry replied not entirely soothed.  Being sick and exhausted was not good for his mood.  Between the tears in Diagon and the urge to hex now, he was having difficulty behaving like a rational adult.  Remus went rigid beside him; his hand stopped its carding.

“You need rest,” Remus said uncomfortably.  “Would you like me to leave?”

“No,” Harry pleaded as he grabbed onto the man next to him.  He nuzzled his face into Remus’ shoulder.  “Stay, please.  I’m sorry I’m being such a snot.  Please stay, at least until I fall asleep.”  He felt tears welling and instantly escaping his eyes.  Embarrassment at this only added to the tears problem.   

“Of course, love,” Remus reassured and kissed his head.  His tone was concerned and confused all at once.  Harry felt him patting his back gently.  “You’re not a snot.  You’re just not feeling well.  You put up with me when I’m irritable every month.  I can handle you when you’re sick.  Please don’t cry love.” 

Harry cried softly for a few minutes more.  Remus did his best to console him with shushing noises, gentle caresses, and smattering soft kisses wherever he could plant them.  By the time he was finished, the whole day felt like it had caught up to him. He was utterly exhausted.

“Sleep, Harry. I’m not going anywhere,” Remus said gently.

“Wake me up for dinner,” Harry asked sleepily.

“Sure,” Remus replied.

Harry drifted off tucked into his reluctant soulmate’s side. 


	11. I Solemnly Swear I Am Still Writing This Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, Everyone,
> 
> Sorry for the delay in updates.  I promise I am writing, but this chapter took forever for a couple of reasons.  First, I had severe writers block for about a month.  Then, my real life picked up and I had difficulty finding the time to write.  Now, my computer has taken a nose dive and is not really functional for writing.  On the upside, I have recently become employed and will soon be able to afford to fix this issue. 
> 
> I have posted most of the next chapter. I'll post the rest and re-title it once it's finished

 

The holidays came and went.  There was an odd note to the days.  Cheer and melancholy kept close company throughout the festive days.  So, Christmas ended up being a somewhat subdued affair.  It was the inhabitants of Grimmauld, all three Malfoys, and Andromeda.  The small gathering on Christmas would consist simply of: supper, gift exchange, and dessert.   

They exchanged gifts after their sumptuous supper.  Iris and Teddy were practically buried in wrapping paper by the end of it.  This seemed to suit the two of them just fine.  In fact, Harry wondered if he shouldn’t have just given them wrapping paper to crinkle, empty boxes to crawl in, and bows to stick on people.  They seemed to be enjoying that more than their actual gifts.   The bow sticking, in particular, was most amusing.  Any bow in either’s hand wound up being stuck to the oddest of things.  Even Lucius Malfoy cracked a grin when Iris decided to decorate Draco’s nose with a bow.  Harry was somewhat struck by the behavior in general.  Every day they were developing more into their individual personalities.  Teddy was outgoing, happy, loud, and a bit mischievous.  In contrast, Iris was reserved and quiet.  She seemed to be constantly evaluating and processing her environment.  However, she also had a tendency to be sneaky and push boundaries for no apparent reason other than to watch the adults around her have fits over her behavior.

By the end of the gift exchange, each person had a small pile of gifts.  Everyone seemed to enjoy the gifts Harry bought.  Draco loved the potions book.   Dudley beamed at his Quidditch equipment.  Remus loved the chocolates from Honeyduke’s; new cardigan (he’d unintentionally commandeered one of the werewolf’s old ones); and miscellaneous odds and ends that Remus needed to write the defense textbook Harry and Hermione had nagged him into writing. 

Harry received some books on defense from Draco; some new shirts from Andromeda; some Firewhiskey from Dudley; and (his favorite) a framed picture of him holding Teddy from his godson.  Remus waited until the others left to give Harry his gift.  Harry was surprised when he tore off the wrapping paper to see the bracelet he’d been eyeing in Diagon the other day.  His earlier request for more sex, however, was ignored.  Thankfully, Harry was too exhausted to let it bother him overly much.  He fell asleep almost immediately after their guests left. 

Boxing Day was difficult.  Remus, Harry, Dudley, and both children were expected at the Burrow around noon.  Harry stumbled out of the floo and almost threw up upon entry.  Though his mood had improved significantly since the day he did his shopping, some of the strange symptoms persisted.   He still felt moody and fatigued overall.  His temper seemed to be set off easily lately.  However, the fatigue was the worst.  He felt like he couldn’t get enough sleep.  Until now the nausea had seemed to clear, but he occasionally felt light headed and dizzy.  Luckily, he was able to regain control over his stomach.  Unfortunately, the entire Weasely family and Hermione were there to witness his brief wave of nausea.

“Are you alright, dear,” Mrs. Weasely asked nervously.

“I’m fine, Mrs. Weasely.  You know me and the floo network.  At least I didn’t fall out this time,” Harry offered as reassurance.  Mrs. Weasely seemed appeased.  Remus, however, had a worried look on his face.  Harry ignored it and made his rounds hugging his extended family members.  He relished the contact after not being able to tolerate the hugs for so long.  Accepting your soulmate, however much they drove you to distraction with their over developed sense of nobility, had its perks.  After everyone had gotten a hug, he took a look around the cozy parlor.  The first thing Harry noticed was Fred’s stocking hung on the mantle like everyone else’s.  A barb of pain shot through him looking at it.  Guilt and sadness welled in him.  Mrs. Weasely noticed and drew him into a hug.

“I couldn’t not hang it up,” she explained tearfully as she held him.  “Perhaps that doesn’t make any sense, but I saw it in the box and I couldn’t just leave it there.  He’s still my son.  He’ll always be my son, even when he’s not here.  It would have been wrong to leave it down.  He’s gone, but he’s still family.  Arthur didn’t have the heart to argue with me on it, especially after the sweater incident.”

“Sweater incident,” Harry asked.

“About a week and a half ago, I was finishing up my knitting.  I felt so happy and content.  I had the sweaters done; You-Know-Who was vanquished; it was the holiday season; our family is expanding; and I just felt happy.  I was making one last count of the sweaters when I panicked.  I thought I’d forgotten one.  I felt like the worst mother in the world.  I couldn’t believe that I had forgotten my Fred.  I immediately began knitting a sweater for him.  I got about halfway through before I remembered.  Poor Arthur came home and found me in a puddle of tears that day.  After explaining things, we had a good cry together.  I finished the sweater, but we donated it to a local homeless shelter.  I hope the ministry doesn’t find out, but Arthur and I charmed it with a few things to keep whoever got it warm and cheerful.  In a strange way, it helped.  It all came back when we saw his stocking, though.  So, I couldn’t leave it off the mantle.  I’m sorry that my foolishness has upset you, dear.”

“I’m not upset, Mrs. Weasely.  It just took me by surprise.  I still struggle sometimes too,” Harry explained.  Mrs. Weasely let go of him then.  She gave him a warm smile that he returned.  Fred’s absence stung, but it wasn’t the sharp pain it had been the last summer.  Harry mostly remembered Fred with a smile now, not tears.  Thankfully, the exchange between the two of them had gone unnoticed.  Everyone else was too wrapped up in each other to pay much attention to the two of them. 

They exchanged gifts before lunch.  As expected, Mr. and Mrs. Weasely protested the expense of their gift.  They relented just a bit though, when a visiting Charlie expressed excitement at their upcoming visit and started planning it around the mating seasons of different dragon breeds.  Everyone else seemed to appreciate their gifts.  In particular, Ron seemed very happy with his wizard’s chess set and chocolate.  With the exchange settled, they all gathered in the kitchen to stuff themselves on Mrs. Weasely’s cooking.

After lunch, things picked up quite a bit.  Bill and Fluer left soon after lunch so that a pregnant Fleur could get some rest.  Otherwise, lots of people popped in and out of the Burrow for tea and biscuits.  Harry recognized many of them.  Neville and his grandmother, Luna and her father, Professor McGonagall, Lee Jordan, Angelina Johnson, Oliver Wood, and Aunt Muriel all stopped in to visit.  Unlike past years, it seemed that most everyone, like Harry, had small gatherings with their most immediate family members the day before.  Today was turning into the more standard Bacchic level celebratory shenanigans.  The liquor was flowing.  The music played loudly.  The house was filled with raucous laughter. 

George was wreaking havoc with mistletoe that was enchanted to float over random couples and freeze them in place until they kissed.  It was quite fun to watch.  Poor Percy was the first victim and was forced to kiss Hermione in front of everyone.  By the time they’d escaped the enchantment with their fairly chaste kiss, Percy resembled a tomato.   Neville got stuck with Ginny, but he didn’t appear to mind.  Harry felt happy for the both of them as Neville pulled Ginny in and showed them all how it was done.  Augusta Longbottom and Professor McGonagall surprised and disgusted everyone when George caught them under his enchanted sprig.  Professor McGonagall winked at Neville’s gran before diving in for an impressive snog.  It was made worse by Augusta Longbottom giggling girlishly and bringing up some silly kissing game they’d made up when they were at Hogwarts.   

Harry evaded the enchanted mistletoe by keeping in a constant state of motion.  It was an easy task.  There were plenty of people to catch up with.  Remus was flittering about somewhat awkwardly.  He seemed a little lost which struck Harry as odd.  He made a mental note to ask him about it later.  Dudley had been swept away by Mr. Weasely almost immediately after lunch and neither man had returned to the gathering.  Both children were being passed around like hotcakes.  Teddy was babbling happily at almost everyone.  Iris was quietly crawling and furniture walking around the kitchen while everyone marveled at her.  Harry eventually made his way into the living room.  He noticed Charlie sitting by himself and decided to take a seat next to him. 

They ended up in the typical small talk one engages in with people they know, but not well.  Harry was enjoying it, though.  It helped that Charlie Weasely was as easy to talk to as he was on the eyes.   Yet, Harry felt no real desire towards him.  Charlie Weasely was like pretty background scenery used in theatre sets: nice to look at, but not the point of the show.  The point of the show was across the room glaring at them while chatting with George.  Remus caught Charlie’s eye and the red haired man lost what little color he’d been blessed with. 

“Thanks again for my parents’ gift, Harry.  They need some time away from here, and I like having them there.  I would enjoy having them out to visit more often.  I wish I could see them all more often.  I’ve even thought about transferring to a reserve here, but there aren’t any openings at the moment,” Charlie said awkwardly in an attempt to bring their conversation to a close. 

“I think as long as you’re happy, then your mum and dad are happy too.  I don’t think they’d want you to move just for their sakes.  Not to say that it wouldn’t be nice to see you around more,” Harry said as tried to rise from his seat only to have some unseen force keep him in his chair.  He tried to raise three more times only to have his rear end planted in the seat each time.  It would have been funny if it hadn’t been so annoying.  Harry turned to Charlie hoping for some explanation.

“It seems my little brother feels like risking my life for a prank,” Charlie grimaced as he pointed to the enchanted mistletoe directly above them.

Harry felt his stomach drop and he immediately glared at George.   George gave him a grin then disapperated out of the room, leaving the bedeviled mistletoe above them.  Remus was watching them intently.  He clearly wouldn’t do anything to stop this madness.  Harry knew he didn’t want to come off like he cared that much, even if he did.  For some reason, Remus’ entire attitude about the situation had him seeing red.  After all, who was Remus to say who he shouldn’t kiss?  This was the same man that kept pushing him away and never wanted to publicly announce their shaky togetherness.  This was the same man always telling Harry to act his age, whatever that meant.  He felt his own mischievous grin develop as he looked at Charlie Weasely.

“Don’t worry about Remus.  His snarl is worse than his bite, and I wouldn’t let anything happen to you,” Harry reassured.  Charlie assessed his smirk then matched it with his own devilish grin.  Some silent agreement was passed between the two. 

“If you say so, gorgeous, then I believe you,” Charlie said as he leaned in and kissed Harry.

It wasn’t a bad kiss.  Charlie’s lips were nice against his.  However, there was just no comparison to the kisses, even semi-chaste ones, he shared with Remus.  Add in the fact that most members of the Weasely family felt like close family, the kiss left something to be desired.  Put his past relationship with Fred into the mix, and it felt really wrong.  However, it wasn’t like they were actually kissing with romantic intent.  There wasn’t any tongue or lip nibbling.  It was just them with their lips pressed together.  When they broke apart, Harry looked over to see his werewolf close to having a stroke.  Harry, still feeling a bit petty, sent a beaming smile his way.  Remus, in a very good impression of Snape, turned on his heels and left the room.  Harry stood up and chuckled.

“Oh, Harry, are you sure that he’ll be alright,” Charlie asked as he chuckled along with Harry.

“Yeah, I’m sure.  Worse comes to worse, there’ll be some shouting on both our ends.  I know all of you are in on us, but most people aren’t per Remus’ wishes.  He worries so much about our age difference, his lycanthropy, and a million other things that he pushes me aside a lot.  He can be quite insufferable with his chivalry, you know? This might actually be good for us.  I’m tired of feeling pushed to the side until I’m ‘older’,” Harry answered honestly. 

“Alright,” Charlie said, seeming placated with Harry’s answer.  “Well… er… It was nice snogging you today.”  They both laughed at *-how awkward that sounded.

“Thanks, it was nice to be snogged.  You seem to have a talent.  Your… er…,” Harry paused awkwardly.  He had no idea what Charlie Weasely’s sexual identity was, and had no idea what nouns to use for Charlie’s significant other.  “Your _person_ is quite lucky to have you.”

Charlie chuckled.  “I’ll take the compliment, Harry, but there is no one I’m kissing at the moment.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.  I just figured you’d have someone.”

“I could have people, but I tend to lose them after a few dates.  I’m not really that into most things people want.  Kissing is alright on occasion, but I don’t really care that much about any of it.  I think some of my colleagues were a little worried I was attracted to the dragons for the first few months I worked there,” Charlie barked out a laugh at the thought of it.  “For the record, my interest in my work is very healthy and professional.  I’m just not interested dating or having sex with most people I come across, or in general.”

“Fair enough,” Harry responded.  He may crave physical intimacy, but he supposed it wasn’t for everyone. Charlie smiled at him.

“Well, I’ll see you around.  I’m going to go find George and murder him,” Charlie grinned malevolently at the thought.  Harry bowed his head and went back into the kitchen. 

They stayed at the Burrow for a while longer.  It was nice to see everyone and catch up.  He avoided Remus; who was still sending him the occasional glare.  Teddy became extremely fussy towards the end of their stay.  Harry thought he felt a bit warm to the touch.  Experience had taught him that the babe was either coming down with a cold or a tooth was trying to come through.  Either way, poor Teddy would need potions and rest.  Harry broke his avoidance streak long enough to warn Remus. They decided to head home shortly after.  Dudley and Iris, however, were headed to London.  Aunt Petunia had sent a letter to Harry’s PO Box asking for a brief visit; Dudley reluctantly agreed.  They said their goodbyes to the Weasely’s and flooed home just before dinner. 

The minute they got home, Harry summoned a pain relief potion for babies.  The potion worked much like muggle aspirin.  It could be used for both pain and fever reduction.  Remus held Teddy as Harry gave him the recommended number of drops.  The instant the potion was ingested, it worked its magic.  Teddy stopped fussing quite so much, but was clearly exhausted.  It didn’t take long before he was cuddled against Remus’ chest sleeping peacefully.

While Remus went to put him in his cot, Harry started on dinner for the two of them.  He’d given the elves the day off, and he had no desire to call them.  Besides, there was plenty left over from the day before.  It almost didn’t really feel like cooking.  By the time he had dinner laid out in the kitchen, Remus had returned.  It seemed that his foul mood had decided to return too now that his son was taken care of.  Harry sighed inwardly.  This was going to be a long meal if Remus insisted on brooding and glaring instead of talking.  They ate in silence for a few minutes before Harry had enough.

“Alright, Moony, what’s eating you,” Harry asked combatively.

“What’s eating me,” Remus echoed with a growl.

“Yes, Remus, what’s eating you?  You know.  What’s wrong?  Why are you upset?  What happened today to put you in a mood,” Harry growled back. 

“Nothing happened.  I’m just a cranky old werewolf,” Remus replied sarcastically.

“You know what?  I don’t care.  Be that way.  Go ahead and keep whatever it is to yourself,” Harry bit back.

“Why don’t you leave me alone and go snog another Weasely,” Remus snapped in response.  As soon as it was said, there was a brief pass across his features that acknowledged that had been the wrong thing to say.  However, it didn’t last and a stubborn look was cast on his face.  Harry saw red, and he snapped.

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?  THAT WAS LOW, REMUS!  WHAT SORT OF PERSON DO YOU THINK I AM,” Harry shouted at the werewolf.  “LET’S FORGET FOR A MINUTE THAT YOU’RE MY SOULMATE!  THAT THE ONLY PERSON I WANT KISSING ME IS YOU!  THAT OUR HANDS WERE FORCED BY GEORGE BEING A GIT!  DO YOU REALLY THINK I’M THE TYPE TO TAKE UP WITH MY DEAD LOVER’S BROTHER?”

Remus flinched, but Harry wasn’t dissuaded from his shouting.  It felt like shopping in Diagon Alley.  His emotions were suddenly all over the place, and they were a little erratic and irrational.  Before he could stop it, everything that was bothering him about their relationship was being shrieked at the increasingly worried looking man sitting across from him.

“MERLIN, REMUS!  I’M SURPRISED YOU EVEN CARE WHO I GO AROUND KISSING!  IT’S NOT LIKE YOU CARE TO MAKE IT KNOWN WE’RE TOGETHER!  YOU WON’T EVEN TOUCH ME BEYOND SOME CUDDLES AND KISSES!  ADD IN YOUR CONSTANT ASSERTIONS I NEED TO ACT MY AGE!  ALL THE NOT SO SUBTLE PUSHES FROM YOU TOWARDS DOING THINGS MUCH WORSE THAN KISSING CHARLIE WEASLEY!  I’M AMAZED YOU EVEN NOTICED!  MERLIN, REMUS, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO WAKE UP AND SMELL THE PUMKIN JUICE?”

“THE ONLY PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD I WANT IS YOU!  I DON’T ACTUALLY WANT TO KISS ANYONE ELSE!  I ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT YOU AND TEDDY!  SO, YES, I DO WANT TO KNOW IF SOMETHING IS BOTHERING YOU!  AND AS FOR DOING AGE APPROPRIATE THINGS, I KNOW WHAT I WANT!  SURPRISINGLY ENOUGH, DYING REALLY PUT THINGS INTO PERSPECTIVE FOR ME! THINGS YOU THINK BEING YOUNG IS ABOUT ARE UNIMPORTANT!  FAMILY, LOVE, AND WORKING TOWARDS SOMETHING GOOD ARE THE THINGS I CARE ABOUT, AND I’M SICK OF YOUR CONSTANT ATTEMPTS TO CHANGE MY MIND ON THAT,” Harry shouted.  His cheeks were wet from angry tears he hadn’t realized he’d been shedding.  There was silence while Harry gathered his thoughts and calmed his temper.  Remus looked wild eyed and somewhat remorseful.  Harry took a breath before continuing on. 

“I ache for you, Remus,” Harry said softly as the bizarre tears continued to roll down his cheek.  “I want you with every fiber of my being, and it kills me to feel like you don’t feel the same.  You don’t get it.  If I’m to go to a party, I want to bring you along.  If I were to travel, I’d want to see the world with you at my side.  If I’m to kiss someone, I want to kiss you.  If I’m supposed to be off having wild crazy sex, you’re the only one I want to do that with.  I know you’ve been through this whole soulmate thing before, but I’m not Sirius Black.  I don’t resent what I feel towards you because it’s all I ever wanted.  I’ve dreamed of family, home, and love since I could remember.  I wish you would stop fighting it,” Harry finished feeling defeated and exhausted.  Then, before Remus could respond, Harry popped out of the room.

He reappeared in his bedroom on top of his bed.  He cast a quick spell that kept people not currently in a room out for about half an hour.  Then, he burrowed into the pillows on Remus’ side of the bed.  He drew comfort from lingering scent attached to Remus’ pillows.  It was a bit odd, considering the quarrel they just had, but it worked almost as well as a calming draught.  As he struggled to keep his eyes open, he felt thoroughly ridiculous about the scene he’d caused.  His last thought before the exhaustion overtook him was that he must have completely cracked.


	12. The Sick Wolf Cub and the End of the Dry-Spell

Harry was yanked from slumber by the gut wrenching sound of a crying babe.  His eyes flew open to see Teddy lying next to him bawling his little eyes out.  He bolted upright and scanned the room looking for Remus as he pulled Teddy into his arms.  Not finding him, Harry began making sure Teddy was alright.  Teddy seemed to be alright, but he had developed a cough and he was feverish again. 

“So, you do have a cold,” Harry soothed as he worried as to why Teddy was there while Remus wasn’t.  He gathered his wand into his free hand and prepared to fight or flee.  “It’ll be okay, my little half-moons.  We’ll take a quick walk through the house to make sure your dad is okay then we’ll get you some medicine.  Does that sound like a plan?” 

Teddy replied by giving a congested huff.  At least, he seemed to be calming.  Harry swung his legs over the side of his bed and started towards the door.  He took a few steps towards the door when it opened.  Without pausing a moment to think, Harry instantaneously shouted “Expelliarmus” at his unknown intruder. His spell was well aimed, but completely unnecessary.  He watched in horror as Remus was sent flying backwards into the wall across the hall while his wand flew towards Harry.

“Oh shit, Remus I’m so sorry,” Harry yelled as he ran to make sure the werewolf was unharmed.  “I woke up and Teddy was in my bed crying.  I couldn’t find you anywhere.  I thought someone had broken in…  I’m so sorry.  Are you alright?  I didn’t hurt you too much did I,” Harry babbled out quickly.

“Harry, calm down,” Remus chuckled and winced.  “I’m alright.  Your disarmament spell really packs a punch, though.  I probably have a bruised arse to match my wounded pride.”  He gathered himself together and stood up and away from the wall.  He then directed his attention to the sick babe in Harry’s arms.

“I apologize for Teddy worrying you.  My son decided he didn’t like the taste of the Children’s Pepper-Up and apparated away before I could finish giving him his correct dose.  I freaked out until I heard him crying in your room.  I thought you’d still be sleeping.  You were pretty out of it earlier, and I thought if I could get there quickly enough you’d just sleep through his visit.  I don’t think I’ve ever been so thankful that no one can apparate in or out of this place, even if apparating within is allowed,” Remus explained as they walked towards Teddy’s bedroom.    

“I’m sorry I reacted that way.  I just panicked when Teddy woke me up with his crying.  My body tends to act before my brain can.  I assumed the worst and reacted.  It sort of just became something of a habit during the hunt,” Harry explained sheepishly.  However annoyed he’d been at Remus earlier, he hadn’t wanted to cause him pain.  He felt guilty about the fact he may have done so now. 

“I understand, love.  I am glad that you would protect Teddy so well against any threat.  Hopefully there won’t be reason to in the future, but if there is; my arse would appreciate better marksmanship,” Remus chuckled as he held the door to Teddy’s nursery open.  All traces of his former mood seemed to have left for the evening.  Harry grinned sheepishly at him as he entered.  Remus closed the door behind them and gathered the Children’s Pepper-Up.

“Alright, young man,” Remus addressed his son sternly.  “We’re going to finish giving you your medicine; and this time I expect you to stay where you are.  Understood?”

Teddy replied by coughing then burying his head in Harry’s chest.  Harry pat and rubbed his back soothingly then said, “Your father’s right, Teddy.  You have to take your medicine.  I know it doesn’t taste very good, but luckily your gran taught me a trick.”

Remus raised an eyebrow questioningly at him.  Harry gave him a small smile in return before summoning a small jar of apple sauce.  He gave the applesauce to Remus and said, “When he got a cold that one moon, I freaked out.  I called Andy and Molly in a panic.  After they calmed me down, we tried to give him some medicine.  He threw a fit after the first dose.  Andy said Tonks did the same thing and showed me the applesauce trick.  While I’ve got him distracted, mix the rest of his dose in with the apple sauce.  Then we just have to feed it to him.”

“This seems too easy,” Remus stated dubiously.  However, he turned his back to comply and Harry could see him mixing in the potion.

“It worked last time,” Harry shrugged.  “It’s not the cleverest trick in the book, but sometimes simple ideas are the most effective.  Besides, I think it’s just to take the edge off the peppery taste.”

“Well, here goes nothing,” Remus said as he began feeding the potion laced food to his son.  Teddy tiredly ingested the offered food.  The jar was very small, only a few spoons worth, and it didn’t take Remus long to feed its contents to his son.  When the jar was finished, it didn’t take long for Teddy to fall asleep as smoke puffed out of his ears.  Harry marveled at the effectiveness of the Pepper-Up.  Teddy’s temperature was gone, and his breathing was clear and steady. Hopefully, this would knock the cold out of him.  If not, he’d need another dose in about twelve hours.  Harry grinned down at his sleeping godson.  When he looked up, though, he noticed Remus had a strange expression on his face.

“Do you want to put him in his cot,” Harry asked in an attempt to avoid a mood swing from Remus.  Remus nodded his head and set about the task of getting Teddy tucked in.  When Teddy was in his cot, Remus set a charm to go off if he woke during the night.  Then they exited the nursery and made their way towards their room.

They went through their nightly rituals.  Harry made sure Zera’s perch had enough food and water.  Now that she had mostly recovered, she came and went as she pleased.  Harry had no idea where she went when she left the house.  However, he suspected that Hagrid’s hut was one of her more frequent haunts.  After that was taken care of, he slipped into his side of the bed.  He waited shortly before Remus slid in next to him.  Harry tossed and turned for a few minutes trying to get comfortable. Just when he thought he’d succeeded and was starting to drift off, Remus decided it would be a good time to talk.

“You’re really good with him,” Remus said out of nowhere.

“Pardon,” Harry mumbled sleepily.

“With Teddy, I mean.  You’re really good with him,” Remus sounded dejected.

“Is that a bad thing,” Harry asked carefully not wanting to rouse Remus’ temper. 

Remus sighed before answering, “I guess not.  I’m happy that you are able to help.  It’s just…”

“Just what, Moony?”

“It’s just,” Remus moved around nervously before continuing.  “It’s just that I’m his father, and I don’t know anything.  What’s Teddy going to think of me?  I don’t know how to give him cough medicine.  I can never get him to sleep as easily as you can.  I’m gone every moon, and he can’t possibly understand.  I can’t even tell him much about his mother.  I never knew that when she was a baby Dora was fed Pepper-Up and apple sauce mixed together.  I don’t much about her childhood.  I’m his father.  I should know…” 

“Moons, stop it,” Harry said insistently.  “You’re being utterly ridiculous.  You are very close to Teddy, and he loves you unconditionally.  You’re always holding him.  He listens to you more than he does me.  He kicks up a fit when you leave for the moon.  He loves you.  He misses you when you aren’t around.  You’re his father and he knows it.  Yes, I am close to Teddy.  I should be.  I am his godfather.  I would want to be close to him whether you’re around or not.  Also, though you seem to forget, I am your soulmate.  I should be acting like a second parent to him.  I’d like to think that’s the direction we’re headed.  Though, I suppose I shouldn’t assume,” Harry finished in quiet annoyance.  The argument from earlier flashed in his mind.

“I’ve been shit all day haven’t I,” Remus half asked and half stated woefully.  Harry let out a sigh.

“I don’t know about shit, but you’ve been bloody moody all day.  Is this all that’s been bothering you?” 

“No,” Remus admitted.  “You’re going to think I’m ridiculous.”

“When have I ever thought you were ridiculous?  I mean other than when that was clearly what you were aiming for,” Harry asked seriously.  Remus shifted and looked him in the eyes.  Then he reached out and pulled him in close before answering.

“I don’t know the last time I’ve felt so alone.  The Malfoy’s, Weasely’s, and Andromeda are all a solid ten years my senior.  Bill and Charlie are a good ten years younger.  There’s no one left that’s my age.  My entire social life revolves around people that I’m far too old or a bit too young to truly fit in with.  It just hit me hard today for some reason,” Remus said sounding lost in his own thoughts.  A rush of shame sped through Harry at his words.  If Remus was feeling alone, Harry snogging Charlie Weasely (no matter how chaste) would not have helped him.  He leaned in and planted a soft kiss on Remus’ forehead in a small gesture of comfort.

“You’re not being ridiculous,” Harry said in a hushed tone.  “You are being somewhat stubborn, though.”

“Stubborn,” Remus asked incredulously.  “Really, Harry, isn’t that like the pot calling out the kettle?”  Harry chuckled quietly. 

“I suppose I have my willful moments,” Harry admitted.  “However, age is an issue you have a history of being stubborn about.”

Remus let out a long suffering sigh, “I suppose you’re right.  Your cousin would be inclined to agree with you, at least.”

“Dudley,” Harry asked incredulously.

“You have two cousins and one is a baby, of course I was speaking about Dudley,” Remus explained with extreme hyperbole.  Harry elbowed him in the ribs as Remus continued in a more serious manner.  “He was quite upset with me when he got home. I suppose I deserved it.  I really have been a right git, today in particular.”

“What did he do,” Harry asked his head still whirling that Dudley had fought with Remus over him.

“While you were napping, he came home and pointed out some things that only a friend or family member could point out.  He told me I was deeply hurting you with my current behavior.  I suppose I knew that deep down, but it took your cousin’s unique way of explaining things.  Before you ask, unique meaning a thorough dressing down shouted at me by a mountain of a man,” Remus chuckled at the memory.  Harry chuckled into Remus’ chest too.  In a strange way, it was rather funny.  Magic or no, Dudley Dursley was an intimidating person.

“It’s not that funny, Harry,” Remus tried to chide.  “I was genuinely nervous.  He has a temper to match yours, lots of magic, and is monstrously built.  My life flashed before my eyes.”

“I’m sorry, but for some reason it’s pretty funny,” Harry continued to chuckle.  “I’m sorry you got reamed out on my account, though.”

“I’m not.  In a way, I’m actually glad it happened.  Between your blow-up and his, I think I’ve finally gotten the point,” Remus said seriously.  Harry shifted uncomfortably at the reminder of his earlier antics.

“I’m sorry for how I acted earlier.  I shouldn’t have shouted.  We needed to talk, but I think I flew off the handle a little.  I don’t know what came over me.  I called you moody a few minutes ago, but I’ve been mood swinging worse than Hermione during pms.”

“I’ve noticed,” Remus said as he rubbed Harry’s lower back.  Harry melted into the touch.  It felt wonderful, and he wanted nothing more to drift back asleep.  “Are you sure you don’t need to see Poppy?  Don’t think I didn’t notice you looking ill earlier.”

“I’m fine, Moony mine,” Harry grumbled into the werewolf’s chest.  “I just want to go to sleep.  Teddy may wake up again in the night and I want some sleep before that happens.”

“That’s another thing.  You’ve been so lethargic lately.  Are you sure you’re not depressed, love,” Remus asked worriedly in a hushed voice.  “It’s not something to be ashamed of if you are.  I was after the first war.  If it weren’t for the werewolf curse’s survival instincts, then I would probably have harmed myself greatly.  I don’t want you to feel like that.  I don’t want to help you to feel like that…,” he drifted off in thought.  Harry took a moment to gather his thoughts before answering.

“I think I’m alright, more or less,” Harry began carefully.  “I’m sad.  I always miss people more around the holidays, but I think most people get sentimental this time of the year.  I think it’s more that I’ve been feeling stressed about everything.  I hosted the remaining Black family members for a holiday dinner, and the Malfoy’s, though vastly improved, aren’t exactly relaxing company.  I’m hosting the New Year’s Eve party in a week, and I was stupid enough to invite everyone I know.  The Creature Reform Bill is going to be presented in a month, and I anticipate some backlash.  I only just finished my NEWTs which required a great deal of studying.   Plus, I really have been stressing over our relationship. I don’t think I’m depressed as much as I am worn out physically and emotionally.”

“I’m sorry for whatever I added to those worries,” Remus apologized sincerely. 

“It’s alright.  I really do understand where you’re coming from,” Harry tried to sooth the older man.  He drew a breath before continuing somewhat dejectedly, “It still hurts sometimes, though.  I always think that it’s something wrong with me that makes you not want to act more like a couple.  I don’t want to pressure you for anything.  I can understand we jumped the gun a bit on Halloween, but I guess I expected something more… or something...”  Harry shrugged and trailed off at a loss for words.

“It really isn’t you, love,” Remus muttered in his ear then kissed him gently on the neck.  “I’m just worried about doing this the wrong way and paying for it down the road.  I pushed you away a bit because I thought it would help you to discover what you really wanted.  I should have realized that I was being overbearing and ridiculous. You’ve always been sure about your decisions.  As for shouting our relationship from the rooftops, I’m not sure about it.  I suppose everyone else’s opinion shouldn’t matter, but I can’t help worrying about it.” Harry gave a derisive snort.  Remus replied by tickling Harry’s ribs.  Harry elbowed him as he yelped at the sensation.

“Snort at me all you like, but you’re not going to be painted as the werewolf ruining the Boy-Who-Lived,” Remus huffed.  “The sad thing is that isn’t even the worst of it.  What am I going to tell my son?  One day he’s going to ask about all of this.  What is he going to think of me?  I loved a man for many years.  When he died, I married Tonks before his body was cold.  Then, I failed to keep her alive.  Then just as fast as I married her, I found my next soulmate.  I don’t want Teddy thinking badly about me,” Remus sounded thoroughly put out. 

“Remus, it’s going on midnight.  Teddy is not even a year old.  He will grow up in the wizarding world where soulmates are acknowledged.  He will have you, me, and Andy to talk to him about his mother.  All these things will help him understand when he is actually old enough to ask,” Harry comforted carefully.  “However, all of that is a problem for many tomorrows from now.  Right now, Teddy is a baby who, if the Pepper-Up doesn’t hold, may be waking us up shortly.  I think we need to focus on the now, and we need sleep.  At least, I do.”

“You think it’ll be that easy,” Remus asked doubtfully. 

“You asked the same thing about the applesauce,” Harry pointed out somewhat mischievously. 

“Point,” Remus admitted.  “Back on the subject if illnesses, you promised you’d see Poppy if you weren’t feeling better by the end of the holidays.”

“I’ll schedule an appointment with Poppy soon, even though I’m probably fine.  Can we sleep now,” Harry asked as pitifully as he could.  Remus chuckled at his tone.

“Yes, I think sleep would be a good thing.  I’m sorry I kept you up with my bitching,” Remus bent his head and kissed Harry on the lips.

“Anytime, Moons,” Harry returned the kiss.  He thought that would be the end of it, but Remus surprised him by kissing him longer and deeper.  Harry groaned involuntarily as Remus shifted slightly on top of him.  Soon Harry felt his hands all over him as their lips and tongues tangoed. He felt Remus’ hands slip under his night shirt and marveled at the sensation of the gentle caresses.  They made out for time unknown.  When they finally broke for air, Harry saw a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

“Still want to go to sleep,” Remus asked huskily as he thrust his hips into Harry’s. Harry let out a groan.  The feeling of their hard lengths pressed against each other, clothed though they were, had his heart racing.

“Are you positive, Remus,” Harry asked in a hushed tone.

“I told you I was going to do better.  I thought that this might be a good place to start.  We could wait until later, if you’d rather sleep,” Remus offered before he moved to the juncture where Harry’s neck met his shoulders and planted several small kisses there.  Harry gasped at the sensation.

“If you stop and insist we go to sleep, I’ll hex you bloody,” Harry moaned his threat ineffectively. He felt Remus’ breath tickle across his skin as the werewolf chuckled at his useless threat. 

“There’ll be no need to hex me bloody.  I fully intend on shagging the magic out of you,” Remus promised before uttering the spell that left them both naked.  Harry moaned shamelessly at the feeling of bare skin meeting bare skin. 

Remus took his moans as a cue to attack his throat with suckling kisses that served to melt Harry’s brain.  Remus continued his onslaught downward nipping at Harry’s collar bones, nipples, sternum, and belly.  He looked up at Harry with fire in his eyes before lowering his head to administer teasing kisses and licks from the base to the tip of Harry’s cock.  Remus then took the head of Harry’s cock into his mouth and began a soft combination of sucking and licking just about the head.  Harry had to imagine the snake-faced version of Voldemort to keep himself from instantaneous orgasm.  The dry spell had affected his stamina more than he’d realized.  Not that Remus’ skill was in question, it was a very well-done blowjob, but he didn’t usually want to cum this early in the game.  Remus didn’t seem to be faring much better when Harry glanced down at him.  The werewolf’s eyes shone wildly in the soft light that filtered through their bedroom window. 

Remus pulled himself away from Harry’s cock suddenly.  He looked intensely into Harry’s eyes for a second and both of them seemed to have the same thought.

“Spells,” they both said at nearly the same time. Remus smirked and pounced on Harry to kiss the life out of him.  Remus reached under Harry’s pillow and used Harry’s wand to cast the proper spells.  Within seconds, Harry was stretched and lubricated.  Remus carefully put the wand aside then made to grab a pillow to put under Harry.  Harry, however, had quickly developed a different idea.  With a small grunt, he shifted Remus onto his back and straddled the werewolf’s hips. 

Remus looked a little startled at the change in their positions.  Harry smirked before bending down to kiss him.  As he did, he pulled both of Remus’ arms above his head and held them in his hand. He then positioned himself over the older man’s cock.  Keeping Remus’ arms pinned above his head, Harry sank down onto the turgid length beneath him.  Remus let out a low groan.  Harry started to ride him hard.

“You going to let go of my hands, any time soon,” Remus asked him breathlessly a few minutes in.

“Not on your life,” Harry panted out.

“You’re in a kinky mood tonight,” Remus teased as he thrust his hips up, starting to match Harry’s rhythm.  Harry let out a gasp as Remus’ thrust stroked his prostate. 

“Is it really so kinky to want my wicked way with you, Moons,” Harry asked breathlessly.  He was rapidly approaching orgasm, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to concentrate.  “Besides, I don’t think I could take your hands teasing me right now.  I’m close enough as is.”  Remus groaned beneath him at his admission and struggled against Harry’s hold. 

“You’re killing me here, love,” Remus grunted out as he jerked his hips upwards.  The last thrust was what did it.  It had perfectly hit his small bundle of nerves to push him to climax.  His cum shot onto Remus’ abdomen reaching upwards towards his chest.  As soon as it was over, Harry felt as if his bones had melted and he collapsed onto the man beneath him, letting go of the werewolf’s hands as he did.  The freed appendages wrapped themselves around Harry and tried to pull him in closer as if such a thing were possible.  A few gentle thrusts later, Remus climaxed. 

They cuddled like that for a few minutes.  Remus’ hands gently massaged his back as they came down from their post orgasmic highs.  Harry responded by lightly kissing whatever skin his mouth could find. 

“I was a right idiot.  We are not waiting so long between shags ever again,” Remus breathed huskily in his ear.

“Couldn’t agree more, Moons,” Harry grinned into the juncture where Remus’ neck and shoulders met.  “At least we know having a sex life isn’t going to be very time consuming.”

“Quiet, you,” Remus said as he gently slapped Harry’s ass.  Harry chuckled mischievously.  “I don’t think either of us will be this enthusiastic tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” Harry asked half suspiciously and half confusedly.

“In the spirit of turning over a new leaf and all that, do you have any objection,” Remus asked cheekily.

“No, just checking.  It wasn’t meant as a challenge.  I’m rather knackered, myself.  Besides, short and intense works so long as it’s with you,” Harry reassured.

“Good to know,” Remus said before using one of his hands to cast a cleansing charm on them.  Harry took that as his cue to roll off Remus’ chest.  Remus shifted so that they were spooning. 

“Goodnight, Harry,” Remus whispered in his ear then placed a kiss on top of his head.

“Goodnight, Remus,” Harry responded, turning his head to return the kiss.  They fell asleep cuddled into each other, and (the Pepper-Up having worked its magic) didn’t wake until morning. 


End file.
